So why don't we?

[Kate Simmons]

Many of us on here seem to have it pretty much together as to who we are and what we enjoy. In the case of crossdressing it seems that some of us are into it and good at it, so why don't we just go ahead and go through the process and get the transition operation from male to female? Quite honestly I could as I'm in touch with all of my feelings and could fulfill either role in society with equal ease.In the early 1970's this is what I thought I wanted to do but for some reason changed my mind, got married and raised a family which may never have happened if I got the operation. I have never regretted that decision.

Even so, why not just get the operation? To be perfectly honest CDing is near and dear to me and close to my heart. Besides being an art form for me, I just plain enjoy doing it and what goes along with it like dancing and performing. I guess it's part of the showman in me. I actually enjoy changing back to male as well as these facets are all very much a part of me.

Couple that with the fact that I've been retired the last 12 years and can pretty much do what I want and things look pretty good from my perspective. Since retiring I have been able to concentrate on the more important things like friendships and showing compassion and empathy towards others and practicing true altruism. That being the case I am many things to many people in both modes and do what I can to help.I know I can't change the world but will do what I can with my time left here.

If I can help others understand the CDing process they experience more, that in itself is my reward. I have already transitioned more or less in mind and spirit so doing it physically would only be a formality for myself.

[Jenniferathome]

We don't transition because we are cross dressers, not transsexuals.

[Dianne S]

Transitioning is a life-altering decision that cannot be made lightly. Those who transition must be prepared for huge losses in terms of relationships, employment, status and even safety. "The Operation" is probably the least important decision in this process. Making the social transition to living as a woman is much more important.

[Jenny Elwood]

Jennifer I've got your broo... back. I could think of nothing worse than having to pretend to be a woman full time. I'm an "occasional woman", nothing else.

Sometimes I think of claiming to be TS so I can dress full time. This is usually tempered by the realisation that boy me has been underperforming in the bedroom stakes. Clean out the plumbing once in a while and you won't be so concerned about what plumbing you've got. The time between dressing won't be that bad either.

[Wildaboutheels]

ALL men are Humans. ALL Humans are animals.

So...ALL CDers are animals. Most all CDers are men because Evolution has decreed that every man [with few exceptions] be a VISUAL creature. Men's vision. THE impetus for most male visits to O ville. Elegantly simple and obviously effective.

It's about the VISUAL not the MENTAL for easily 99% of the CDers on the planet.

Thems the simple FACTS, easily verified by nothing more than using Google alone to search for CDers. [25 pages worth]

And even the most casual flip through this sites P&V gallery CONFIRMS this.

I'm just the messenger.

It's not complicated.

[Isabella Ross]

Simple answer: I'm a man who loves being feminine and pretty. I can do that with the parts I was born with--parts that always be important to me.

[Renee Elise]

I still love being a guy and wouldn't want to give that up to be feminine (which I don't always feel frankly...sometimes it's all guy mode) all the time. Pure and simple.

[Clodagh]

I don't claim to be a woman, or even want to be a woman - good luck to those who do. I just like pretending to be a woman from time to time.

[mariehart]

Unfortunately you make it sound like a lifestyle choice. You say you can fulfill both roles. But so could anyone.

Being TS, having GD runs a lot deeper than that.

Why not simply live full time as a woman instead?

[5150 Girl]

Even so, why not just get the operation?

In a word,,, MONEY!!! Do you know what those operations cost?!?!?!

[Kate Simmons]

I do Hon. Would you believe back in the 1970's when I originally intended to have it the average cost was $7500? Talk about inflation.

[Kris Avery]

Simple answer: I'm a man who loves being feminine and pretty. I can do that with the parts I was born with--parts that always be important to me.

I can agree with this statement Bridgette.

In my case, the plumbing is not up for redesign discussions.
I am very happy with the bits that I have and wouldn't consider removing them.

That said, I do wish I had most of the body hair gone (some more on the top of the head) and a slightly bigger breast area - to give me more to work with.

[bridget thronton]

If you believe gender is a continuem and not binary the operation may not be important for everyone

[DAVIDA]

Kate, for me, it is just the clothes. I do not want to be a woman and never did.
I have a wonderful wife, who has known since the day I asked her to marry me. It has never been an issue with her.
I am dressed every day. I very seldom wear my wigs and it has been four years since I put on makeup. That was only because I drove to Savannah to meet a friend and forum member.
I have met several forum members in person and I am close friends with a few.
I have even been to SCC before. Jean and I had a great time there too.
My family knows about me too.
I don't have the need or the want to get all dressed up and go out anymore. It doesn't mean that I don't like wearing the clothes though.
Each person has their own reasons, but I don't think that the majority of crossdressers want to transition.
As others have already said, that would put them in a whole different category.
You were one of the reasons, along with Jean, that I became comfortable with who and what I am.
It may not have been my "choice", but it is what I actually am and I am not ashamed of that anymore.
Thank you!
PS, I don't remember what you were going b way back then.

[NicoleScott]

The only response necessary is the first one, by Jenniferathome. That's it, in a nutshell.

Kate, you have made it known many times that you like to throw out topics for discussion, for discussion sake. In coming up with this one, you must have run out of good ideas for a good discussion. But I guess that's your right.....

If I can help others understand the CDing process ...

More than 8 years and over 17,000 posts on the forum and your OP makes me question your understanding of what you want to help others with. Why don't crossdressers transition? The answer is in the question. Disappointing, and NOT helpful.

[Emi_]

For me, transitioning provides no tangible benefits. I would look only slightly more female than I do now, but my body would remain it's same size and general shape. I would still need to do a lot of what I do now to pass. I would have to surrender large parts of my personal identity and history to conform to my new status. I already went through all that when I transitioned in my 20s and I found that it did not satisfy me thus I remain male and continue to cross-dress regular,y and openly. I am a complete person without limit in any gender so transitioning from one to another would be to limit the whole person I am.

[Brianna_H]

Why don't we? Well, some of us are. I realized very early that it was NOT just about the visual for me and that cross-dressing is just the beginning. It's like a floodgate has opened and so many new feelings and hopes are pouring out. I have my first real therapy appt. in a few weeks. At first I was really excited and enthusiastic. Now there's some fear growing regarding the changes to my social life, costs, and the possibility of never reaching a satisfactory goal.

Why don't we? It's scary, expensive, and tumultuous. Not something one should do without a lot of soul-searching, research, planning, and support.

[Kate Simmons]

Perhaps you are right Nicole. maybe it's time I just moved on. If what I'm doing is not helpful to anyone, what's the point?

[Emi_]

silly notion in some peoples minds that we are all on some kind of transgender conveyor belt and that we progress naturally from one step to the next along the gender spectrum beginning as wee little cross-dressers and "graduating" to fully formed transexual women. This is just not the case. Each transgendered person fits into a unique spot along the wide range of the spectrum according to their own needs and desires and comfort. Some do move along the spectrum as they find their place but it is not a rule that you must go from A all the way to Z.

[Melissa_59]

There are so many reasons I haven't pushed forward, but chief among them these days is that I've fallen in love with a woman who accepts me, but also loves the male-me primarily. She accepts Melissa and doesn't mind me being dressed, but she fell in love with the man and I wouldn't take that away from her. I love her too much.

But if things were different, and if I were MUCH younger - change if I had the opportunity? Yes, I would have done it 30 or 40 years ago if I'd had the chance. And my life would have been completely different I imagine.

~Melissa in West Texas

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks very much for your opinions and comments everyone. Please note that this will be my last personal thread.

[Teresa]

Kate I hope you're not leaving us ? Your input and comments would be badly missed !

[RADER]

I have been a Boy for over 67 years, No reason to change now.
I just like wearing female clothes. I dress when ever I can, and enjoy
the best of both worlds. Have been doing this since I was 4 years old.
Rader

[Dolly Parton]

Amazing, 4 years old. More amazing that you remember that...

[Barbara Ella]

Posts like this give everyone the chance to discuss where they are and why. At least the ones brave enough to respond, and that in turn gives information to the more timid ones who do not feel like responding. Discussion is always a good thing and I so love hearing about where everyone is at present.

At 68 now, i have transitioned in my mind. I needed the hormones to lessen the GD, and the feminization side benefits are greatly appreciated.

The key is to develop who you are to the point that you are happy and comfortable. At that point the movement/transition can cease. Everyone's end point will be different. Thus, why don't we go further is simply answered by the realization that one is perfectly happy with what has been achieved to date.

Keep talking girls, without it no one learns.

Barbara