I personally could be happy living full time as a female without the physical changes if reality was different. It's about more than just me, and my wife's needs are more important than my own. Plus, the financial costs would be huge. Then there's the whole added risk of taking the medications needed for HRT/SRS and the medical risks involved, and I'm sure my heart physically couldn't handle it.
Great topic, Kate. Thanks for bringing it up!
SRS is not necessary to dress up. It isn't even necessary to pass (if one can already pass) in 99.9% of circumstances.
Male to Female SRS is light years ahead of Female to Male SRS, but it is still far from perfect and some have complications (especially those who are older) and some end up disappointed with the results. It is not guaranteed by any means and I always tell folks who come to me to weigh the pros and cons very carefully and it is not necessary to live fulltime etc. ... and I say this as someone who, on the periphery at least, profits from the "sex change industry" (doing genital electro for those surgeons who require it.)
Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 08-18-2014 at 04:08 PM.
Why bother? If you can live as a woman without going through the pain and suffering of surgery, why bother with it?
kate,
you are you, and that is to say a truly beautiful and wonderful person.
your empathy for people and ability to help is amazing. i have followed and
enjoyed your posts and coments over the years. you are kind and treat people
with respect.
you have class and character and if more people were like you this world
would be a much nicer place.
now whats that crap about being your final thread???
big hugs,
paula
paula
The easy answer for me is that I need both of my gendered selves, so changing the plumbing wouldn't change my situation. I very much like my current situation
Hi Kate, At 71 and married over 50yrs.to my wonderful wife, I have the absolute best of both worlds.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
I think this sums it up pretty well. There is certainly a broad spectrum of transgendered people out there. It's not either or. You don't have to choose from columns A or B. And there are many people who may be nearer the TS end of the spectrum who have chosen, because they could choose, to live a life that is a compromise between their birth gender and their gender identity. One of the most prominent members of Houston's Transgender community is a woman who for medical reasons can't do HRT and SRS.Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
And I know this wasn't the intent, but the question is kinda offensive for those who are truly TS. For them, this is seldom simply a matter of choice. It's not an act, not a matter of proficiency nor a question of having the freedom to do as they wish. Often, indeed quite the opposite.
Last edited by kimdl93; 08-18-2014 at 11:41 PM.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Because I'm mostly boy, just a little bit girl... And I'm happy for that to continue.
Call me Donna, please
Yep. I have gone to Tri-Ess functions, CD groups, etc., and I do not fit in. Those who CD and can be happy with their lives as part time males, more power to you. You, at a societal level, DO have a choice.
I appreciate your comments and largely agree with what you have said. I intend to address my long, tedious lurking in another post, but felt compelled to respond to this, and the OP.
I am continuing the lifelong process of learning who I am, as I know this is a moving target. I have little to offer to the CD or SO, comfortable with their situation or not. For the questioning CD/TG/TS what I can confirm is that if you are able to move forward to tomorrow, knowing absolutely you will lose everything you know and love because you are TS... And yet, you do go forward. One more day. It gets better.
And so to the OP:
Kate, if you have achieved a 'happy equilibrium', please, share, support and keep yourself, other CDs and the rest of us happy fools from harm.
Hi Kate,
While Isha is a part of who I am and I will be the first to admit that I probably have a very mild case of GID, too much of who I am is vested in my male identities and to be honest I like them . . . a lot . . . and would be lost without them. So I have struck a compromise and spend time as Isha when she needs to be out and about and boy me when it is needed. Does that make me CD or leaning toward the TS side of the spectrum . . . can't answer that. All I know is that I am TG on some level and quite happy to travel whatever path that takes me down.
Hugs
Isha
I think for myself saying I'm TG is good enough and leave it as that Isha. There are specific strengths and skills imbued in both "Halves' that can be called upon as needed in either mode. They say we should strike a happy medium. I tried but she wasn't too happy about it.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Transitioning is a long way from crossdressing. While it's nice to immagine having a beautiful female body, the reality for many of us is that we are tied up in our male lives and don't want to chance losing our wives, families, jobs and friends.
Crossdressing is something you can start and stop. Transitioned is for ever.
Cynthia and Blue Orchid have said it for me. I am spending more and more time as Claire and am generally treated, if not accepted, as a woman when I do. My relationship with my wife of 46 years is paramount, and to remove (as Lacey Leigh put it) Bert, Ernie and Big Bird (well, maybe little bird...) or make them nonfunctional just would not be part of the deal. Absolutely the best of both worlds for me.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
I understand what you are saying Claire but even so a few from this very Forum have transitioned and done just that. Just a topic for discussion but as with all controversial subjects (to some) they tend to retreat to their own little corner to defend it when no one is really challenging who they are or what they do.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Do most people assume that if you wear a skirt or dress you want to be a woman? I wear complete female clothing every day, less make up and wig usually, but have no intention of being a woman. I enjoy the clothes and, occasionally wear make up and a wig, but I am a man always and want to remain so. I want the freedom, that women have, to alter their looks and wear what they want without ridicule from society.
Kim, thanks for making this point. Over the past few years, several aggressive members have told me I don't belong in this sub-forum because I don't celebrate my maleness. I hang out here because it's the first place I visited. I have a genuine fondness for several members here, and I respect their feelings. Please just remember that not everyone is alike. I've always wished the stuff between my legs was gone.
Kate, I agree. This is so much a personal question, and depends on what both partners in a relationship want and can deal with. I really admire those of us who have transitioned and have somehow managed to stay with their partners. Says a lot about commitment.
... and I echo Teresa .. I hope you aren't leaving us, but after (GASP) 17,000+ posts you've been such a source of insight and perspective for us!
Last edited by Claire Cook; 08-19-2014 at 01:51 PM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
Yea, now-a-days, that's about what a good boob job alone would cost!I do Hon. Would you believe back in the 1970's when I originally intended to have it the average cost was $7500? Talk about inflation.
I don't know if a TS takes offense, but they must surely agree with you that it doesn't work this way, that is, choosing transition to make crossdressing "better".
My sharp criticism to the OP was from the POV of a crossdresser. I oppose the idea some have that a TS is a CDer who transitions or wants to. That idea is barely understandable for the general public to have, but we should know better. If a [M2F] CDer is a man and a TS is a woman, then one can't be farther along some scale than the other, but be fundamentally different.
We see this all the time on the forum. It does imply that along some scale there are crossdressers and farther towards one end there are transexuals. I don't think so. What is this spectrum called, anyway?
I don't think that suggesting transition as a way to make crossdressing better, easier, etc. is very good advice for a young crossdresser trying to understand what's going on inside, as many of us struggled with long ago. For many (most?) of us, it took a long time to come to terms with this drive to crossdress.
I think my main reason for not transitioning would be.. I'm very comfortable in my own body.
Playing what-if (which is always tricky) ... I think that if I had been born in a female body.. but with the same set of brains, I think I would have been the ultimate tom-boy. I would still be doing karate, snowboarding.. loving football, playing videogames. I'm sure growing up in this scenario.. people would probably think of me as behaving like a boy.
Back to reality.. would I love to have an actual female body? I would be lying if I said that this thought never popped up in my mind.. especially when I'm trying on a dress that would look amazing if I had more hips and cleavage.
But you know what? I'm actually glad I can take off my breast forms (which are of the brand Amoena.. and very very nice to wear). And I also do like wearing my jeans and t-shirts.
So, for the last 30 years, I have regularly asked myself.. how's the current situation? And I guess, fundamentally... as far as I can tell, this body matches my brains and personality.. and I'm happy with both my boy and girl side (which I just call my side).
And if that means I gotta add some extra padding.. and slap on a bit more make-up for the girl side to shine.. then so be it!
│ Fashion and science geek!│
│ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nat.crys.5 │
│ My blog: http://natcrys.blogspot.com/ │
for the life of me i don't understand why some of you get so upset with a comment or thread.
to me, communication is the key to education. i'm still kinda new to this and am still learning...
the more i learn the more questions i have. i'm pretty sure that the OP just threw this out there
as a topic of discussion. for those of you with all of the answers and stone cold in your beliefs,
just move along, nothing to see here... but for some of us, especially the newbies there is much to learn
from the responses and comments.
so no need to attack the OP when she is an asset to the site, stimulating conversation and educating
some. we are all so very different and far apart along the gender spectrum that no one answer or
opinion is the answer for all! but it does stimulate the brain and make one think...
Just to clear the air, I never intended to suggest that a CDer was a TS in training. I know the difference but because of my own personal experiences in life I have a different perspective than most folks of the whole TG umbrella. In the end it is what it is anyway regardless of what we believe so I've learned not to sweat the small stuff such as definitions and perceptions.Have a great day everyone.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
No worries here.
I know there are people who want to focus on the negative or perceive the bad things that could be between the lines.. but I think it's an interesting (IMHO) topic.. and I loved reading the responses (most of them anyway.
And judging by the number of responses.. it was not a useless or needless thread.
│ Fashion and science geek!
│ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nat.crys.5 │
│ My blog: http://natcrys.blogspot.com/ │
I think there is such a spectrum (let's call it the Gender Expression Spectrum) but I don't think all crossdressers are on it. I think there are some crossdressers who have no gender dysphoria whatsoever; they dress for erotic reasons or to play-act or whatever.
However, I think most crossdressers do have some level of gender dysphoria that is relieved when they dress. Some of us only need to dress occasionally; some need to dress frequently; some need to dress almost all the time; and some with severe gender dysphoria need to transition.
As I suggested in another thread of mine, there are thousands, maybe millions of shades of gray based on individual needs. There are those who need to transition or die. There are those who enjoy being men and occasionally or constantly present as a woman. There are those who like the feel of feminine attire. And there are those who wish to fully present as a woman and return to their male status. Then there are some of us who cannot fully transition but can find ways to at least feel good about our needs and fulfill them. Without clothes, we are also very naked.
The gray scale runs along many different shades. Our situations are all individual and not compartmentalized in boxes. No one can judge another for their feelings or choices to enhance their lives on this planet.
Cheryl
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