I don't care what people think of me, however CDing would impact my wife and how others see her. I don't want to be the cause of undue stress for her.
I don't care what people think of me, however CDing would impact my wife and how others see her. I don't want to be the cause of undue stress for her.
Once I shared my dressing with my adult children I stopped worrying about post death discoveries. I have asked to be buried in whatever is my favorite skirt suit at the time and my Academic robe. Not worried about hair and makeup.
This.
Are we doing something shameful? Is exploring your gender presentation that awful a thing? I guess I got used to getting laughed at as a chubby kid. People who laugh at others over how they look or how they dress are a waste of effort. I'm sorry the OP feels so ashamed of this part of their life.
At least some places, what we do is No Big Thing. I realize it's not like that everywhere, but still, you'll be dead. Why waste energy now worrying about it? Make a plan, make a will. Act. Then move on.
*******
I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try, I'll never know!
- Defying Gravity from Wicked
Leave a not with your "stash"
Or, come out to your most trusted friend, and ask them to intercede if/when necessary.
5150 Girl's suggestion of leaving a note with your stash strikes me as a very sensible idea, something I will definitely be doing as I am firmly in the closet.
“A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.”
― William Blake, Auguries of Innocence
The same thoughts about dying cross my mind many times. My wife does not know I cross dress at every opportunity I get. I have had a very secretive place for my special clothes for several years. My concern has been that someone will stumble on my clothes when I'm dead. I think the answer to that problem is,....I won't give a damn when I'm six feet under ground!!!!
I would do the will thing with a private note, pending on the age of your kids, to your kids. If not your kids, maybe you could find and make friends with another CD in your area as a male friend that you could also have a private letter to them asking to dispose of only your female items. Just a thought.
I had these thoughts when I was younger and fortunately my SO and I have discussed this.
Worrying about our clothing and personal effects after we die is another useless self-torture we put ourselves through. We should focus on how we live our life and live it to the fullest - the best that we can. Who cares what other people think, today, tomorrow, when we are gone?
Of course, you have no idea what anyone might think or say about you after you're gone. There may be a lot for them to talk about...whether they find your things or not. So, why worry?
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
If you are going to worry about what people will think of you when you are gone, then get rid of all your clothes before you die. You could die today or 50 years from now. But would you feel alive in the mean time? I read some where that people may or may not regret what they have done, but the things that they didn't do.
Marilyn Monroe says "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it".
and I wish I was born a woman
My daughters will take my make up - okay they already have done that, and I ain't even dead yet
They will take my tight black pants and all my mini skirts for themselves - like when I'm not looking
What they don't want will go to my sister and her daughter, and what she doesn't want will go to charity.
My boy clothes will go in the scrap bin, as will my wigs, breast forms etc after everyone has had played dress up with them
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
Okay, let's say I have pre-arranged for a friend to intercede to get rid of my things before anyone else finds out. How does that work exactly? I drop dead unexpectedly, the family is notified, friend doesn't hear about it til later etc. Then when he/she does find out, he shows up at my house and what? If it's not already too late, he asks my family to close their eyes while he goes rummaging around in my closet and carries stuff out in big black trash bags? Sorry, this is wishful thinking. If you're worried about this but you want to keep your stuff while you're alive, you have three choices:
- Continue like you've been doing and hope you have the chance to clean house before it's too late;
- Hide your stuff where it won't be found (like under the floor or in a secret compartment), which of course makes frequent access a pain; or,
- Store it off-site with instructions to dispose of it if without further notice should you not renew the lease. This also makes access a hassle.
Just my wife knows If something happens to me she could get rid if it. If something would to happen to both of us I'm found out. But I'd be gone so f&^k it.
Angie
I worry much less about being found out, if I suddenly die, than I do about being critically injured/hospitalized. I mean, if I'm gone, I'm GONE. If I'm hospitalized, and need someone to keep my affairs in order (i.e. feed my animals, take out the garbage, etc.) what they'll think if they come to my house and find makeup, lingerie, heels, etc. BTW, I'm single and live alone.
Justine:
Have a fake girl friend(who lives or visits with you) who is about your size. Find places to hide wigs,pics,reading material,and anything that screams TG. Keep only things that a GG would wear in the open nothing else.Have security on your computer that only lets you on. Like a password when you initial sign on
Last edited by janetcgtv; 08-29-2014 at 06:12 PM.
Marilyn Monroe says "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it".
and I wish I was born a woman
I died last year.
Seriously.
A week after my 38th birthday, I dropped dead from a sudden cardiac arrest at work on a sunny monday morning. I woke up 4 days later in the hospital with no idea where I was, what had happened or why I had 2 IV's in each arm, a large bore IV in my groin, a tube in my penis and a thermometer in my behind. The only thing I could see was my wife's smiling face and her tears.
I could go on and on with this story, what it was like, what I saw, the whole experience. It's a gas. And I am not afraid of talking about it.
Anyway, my point is, not once through all the nonsense I went through did I ever once think to myself "I gotta get rid of that box in the attic in case this happens again". I am who I am and if I should die sudden from some other affliction or accident, I hope no one thinks less of me because of that box that is so carefully tucked away (haha!) in the attic. I hope they remember me as a good friend, husband, father & son.
"I'm saying yes to the dress!"
Before I came out to my entire family. I had a long note attached to my stash, explaining what this find is all about. Hopefully to ease there minds, that it was just a fun hobby. And that I wasn't gay or some weird-o. Since that I am out to all of them. Do what you see fit with my wardrobe. Yes I did remove the long letter. Daviolin
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A CD AND HIS WARDROBE, ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING.
I'm havent worried about it too much, but it is one of the lingering thoughts in the back of my mind as to why I really do want to out myself to people I care about on a regular basis. Building up the courage to do so is sometimes slow in coming, but I rather just do it all the way, and let the people who really know, feel like I trusted them in life, not just in death (via a note). It just seems more personal and more fair to the people that are close to me.
I'm hoping to live at least another six or seven years and if I do I will dispose of my things before I do die. If not, welllll.........
I'm going to be dead; I won't care. I wonder who will attend a memorial, though; most of my contemporaries are long gone and the rest will be soon, so I figure the mourners will be few. But I might be wrong -"Give the public what it wants, and they'll come out for it." - (attributed to many people)
ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!
"The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)