Very concerned about a suddenly dying

[JessicaJHall]

Lately, since the kids moved out, and I got huge into dressing again (took a decade off), I've been trying to figure out some sort of "dead [strike]man's[/strike] girl's switch". Like if I had my stuff in storage or something.. but the storage unit business is a nightmare, they even want emergency contacts!! I would just want them to get rid of it. There is a TG /CD transformation service and B&B in my area*, and they have storage, so I'm going to go that route, I think. But then my stuff can't always be in storage now can it?
*http://www.victoriasrainbow.tv/home.html

Edit: Forgot the painfully ironic part: BOTH kids moved back in!!!

[DanaGirl]

If I die, Im dead so I guess I wont care what those left behind think about finding my things. If it changes how they think about me as a person then screw them. I'm a good person and can live my life wearing panties if it isn't hurting anyone else.

[MsJulie]

Well...I guess I am wondering if it would effect what they would bury me in...Ha!

My psych recently suggested that this is really only a piece of who we are to other people...so the people who truly care about us won't be that effected by it...I mean we are the same person they always knew just with different trimming. She also said that the more comfortable I am with it the less I will be bothered by what others think. I believe that makes sense as well. It is more about me than them. I do like the letter idea. I believe if this were a close friend of mine that died and his/her girly things were found, I would wonder why they didn't trust in me enough to stand by them and accept them. So I think I might put that in a letter explaining to all who didn't know...

All this is well and good...but many people who I am close to do not know and I am not ready to share...though I want to and I have come out to about 11 people in the past year and so far it has been wonderful. My best male friends do not know.

Wonderful thread as it makes one think.

xox

julie

[Allison Chaynes]

A lot of good discussion here! I feel I must add one more thought- since my medical issues have been discovered, and it's forcing me to face my mortality, I have felt a very strong urge to just want to come out and quit hiding Allison. For my wife's sake, I won't, but I find myself wanting to be more open instead of less so, even knowing how some of the family will react.

[Barbara Jo]

I agree....... as long as you have your finances in order for your surviving loved ones..... who cares what people might say about you after your gone.

The fact is, many people have secrets that are only discovered after they die.

So just enjoy living....as long are you're not hurting anyone doing so. After all, that is the ultimate point, is it not?

[Andy66]

How about a twist on the letter idea? Consider leaving a letter explaining the clothes in the bottom of a box or drawer for someone to find it? It doesnt have to be to a particular peson, just whoever gets tasked with taking care of your stuff.

[DeeDeeB]

Put in your will to return all the ladies' things to their original owners - keep them looking for months.

Dee

[Nancie64]

DeeDeeB, I love your idea. I don't know if it will work or not. I have over 40 skirts, 12 dresses, shoes, and misc under things. This certainly is an interesting topic. I have kids who know nothing of my habit. I did put a pic with my SO's photo shoot with a note that says, " For my 65 birthday I went to have a photo shoot, full dress, makeup, the works". They will laugh about it, I hope. It is a true concern, living in a small town, people would love to talk. Find someone who you can trust and just ask them to dispose of the items in your house that are in a special spot, no other explanation needed. My sister in law has this job if both my SO and I would go at the same time. It is a subject to be given some special thought.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenni, I told my wife what dress that I want to be laid out in, She said Over My Dead Body.

[CherylAnne]

This thread could not have come at a better time for me. I almost never start a thread, rarely reply, but read of others all the time. I am having open heart surgery this Wednesday. Came up all of a sudden. Went to my PCP on Friday for something else, the next thing I know I am in the heart cath lab and by Saturday I am being scheduled for surgery. Hopefully, I will be here next week leaving a note that all went well, but if not, thanks to the forum and all of the participants have helped me over the years. This is a fabulous group of ladies and I have enjoyed my time with you.

[Cheryl T]

My philosophy is this. Years ago my mom was in Florida visiting friends. She mentioned she was looking at buying a house there.
She then asked what I would do with it if she died. I responded "what do you care, you'll be dead". She just said, "you're right". She never did buy the house anyway, but if you aren't here for the reaction what difference does it make? You've made your mark on the world and if that does not over ride this little bend in the stream then it's not because of you, it's because of them.

[MsJulie]

Best if Luck CherylAnne...I know this is a big deal...but Open Heart Surgery is far more common and successful than it used to be- so I am sure you will be fine...Try not to stress too much...good thing you went in and they found the problem...

hugs

julie

[CarlaWestin]

Hate to put it this way but, you'll be dead. What will it matter? In fact, why does it ever matter what people think? We are what we are. All that shame does is make us live a lie and convince ourselves that a good lie is better than a good life.

If I die, Im dead so I guess I wont care what those left behind think about finding my things. If it changes how they think about me as a person then screw them. I'm a good person and can live my life wearing panties if it isn't hurting anyone else.

If I go before my wife, I'm sure she'll secretly take all of my stuff to the landfill in fear of someone seeing that she was married to a crossdresser and condemning her to eternal hell. But, if I go last, I hope my daughter will see all of my stuff and go through the laptop and hard drives and admire the extra life that her father enjoyed. Maybe in future conversations she'll describe me as one of the CD pioneers.

[Jolene]

No one in my family knows of Jolene so far as I can tell, but anyway when I do pass, there will be a very interesting estate sale.

[MelanieAnne]

If you live alone, and you're going in for surgery, you could rent a small storage locker, and put everything in it. If you did die, the rent would go unpaid, and eventually the locker would be opened and the stuff thrown away or auctioned off. But no one would know who the stuff belonged to.

I've often pondered the subject the subject myself.

[Samantha_Smile]

Ok so recently a friend's brother died from a sudden heart attack. He was in his late 30's. Got me really scared about if it happened to me and what everyone will think when I'm gone and they find my girly things. All I can think of is the bad things people will think about me. Single parent so no SO to get rid of things. No friends know so that's out too.

Sudden death from cardiac arrest in the under 50 group is very rare.
As there are rarely lifestyle factors (obesity, sedatory life style etc) at that age, its usually genetics that are to blame.
The odds of it actually happening to you are slim.


Now, as for people thinking bad of you - Why do you care - YOU WILL BE DEAD! lol
It's not something to worry about

[GenieGirl]

I used to worry about that scenario too. But now I think I would want people to know when I'm gone and pray that only the "pretty" pics of me leak out for them to see......laughing about the idea, not of dieing though.

[Stephanie47]

I've thought about it. I'm married. I am assuming my wife will dispose of the girly stuff as she stumbles upon them. If she dies before me I intend to start reducing my wardrobe. Who needs 104 dresses? I have been feeling less and less urges to be en femme. I hope I would find myself back to where I started- floor length nightgowns and panties that I my kids might thinks were mom's. If we die together?...my shit's in the wind.

[Kate Simmons]

Personally, I really don't care what other people think of me now. If I die I can't, so I don't concern myself with it.

[silow]

I try not worry about dying. But living. If you live a good life, than one would hope they remenber you with good thoughts.

[Claire Cook]

I guess Claire's quirky sense of humor has taken over. I think I'd worry more about whether I could CD in the Afterlife.....

[paulinescotlandcd]

If you can't stop worrying about stuff when you are dead when can you?

[mariehart]

If you're dead you won't care. Death has the effect of taking away all your problems in one fell swoop.

You cannot spend your life worrying about what your reputation after you are dead. In any case it's likely the person or persons clearing out your stuff will probably realise the truth and will probably keep it to themselves. No one likes to speak ill of the dead.

[sometimes_miss]

I'm not really worried about what anyone thinks about me after I'm dead. I'll be dead. What difference will it make? If I die before my sister, it will be her problem to deal with all the issues such as what to do with all my stuff, etc.. Of course, as she treated me like sh!t most of my life, it will serve her right.

[Michelle789]

If you're worried that they're going to harass you, confront you, or guilt trip you about your CDing, you will be dead, so they cannot possibly do any of that to you. If you are dead then you will feel nothing - you will not feel their reaction to discovering your CDing.