Dealing with it

[Kate Simmons]

It's been about a week so i figured what the heck? Many of us deal with crossdressing issues every day as it's a part of us and our nature. It can be a tough row to hoe and at times an uphill battle. We all dress for a variety of reasons it seems and there is really no "one size fits all" answers. The good part is that we can come here and talk about our CDing issues with folks of like ilk and without judgment for the most part even if some are pretty opinionated. I know I, myself, went on for years before I found any kindred spirits, brothers or sisters as it were dealing with the same things I was. Then at the turn of the century I found and joined the Renaissance TG Org which was great for a time and getting out of the closet. Time passed and i progressed to wanting to develop myself at a faster rate than that Org could provide, so went off on my own.

I found that here we can discuss openly issues we encounter even if we may approach them in different ways. There is a plethora of experience in the members of this Forum and here as I have said many times are the foremost experts of CDing in the world, In the end we have to make our own way and decisions of course but we can't help but benefit from millions of hours of experience in pretty much every aspect of CDing. Sometimes we may be hard pressed to deal with our own CDing, especially in relation to family matters. It may not be the whole answer but discussing things here goes a long way even if we don't always agree with everything said. I can think of a lot of worse things to do with my time. Knowing we have friends to talk to is the best thing. Carry on my friends.

[Teresa]

Kate my membership here is only months, but without it I was reaching a low point, so your comments sum up how the members have helped me come to terms with Cding .
It is more complex than a guy wearing a dress, why our brains get wired they way they do will never be fully explained ! So we can only find ways to live with what we've been given, try and not feel ashamed of something we can do nothing about and enjoy what it can give us without hurting anyone !
Thanks for your wise words Kate !

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, It's like I've said before ,"When you are here you are home
and if you have a question someone will probably have the answer for you " .

[Bria]

Yes, someone will have an answer, it may not be the right way for me to go, but as Kate said the forum is a place to talk to other similar folk, to realize that I am not the only one that has these feelings. My thanks to all who contribute opinions.

I think that in general opinions whether on this forum or elsewhere are worth the 2 cents that they cost!! That why I offer as many as I can, all those 2 cents really add up!!

Hugs, Bria

[kimdl93]

I agree that his can be a useful resource. I sometimes feel compelled to caution newbies that they have to be careful in assimilating and interpreting what they read. Every post reflects the experiences and biases of the respondent...and sometimes we are overly eager to project our experiences and prejudices onto others. As you say, one size seldom fits all. We are at best a catalogue of possible styles to choose from.

[Kris Avery]

Kate, I really like your posts....

[muslegirl]

It is more complex than a guy wearing a dress, why our brains get wired they way they do will never be fully explained !


Couldnt have said that better Teresa..Been asking why why why from childhood!!

[Nadya]

This forum has been the best experience I've had on a web-based CD community. Having somewhere to go even if it isn't a physical place, has been helpful.

[Teresa]

Musle, I tried to work it out and thought I had but now I've been given a new label and things are really falling into place !
When I came out to my wife I felt it only fair to try to give an acceptable answer rather than say I can't help it, or it's just something I want to do ! Besides you need some answers yourself, you have to able to fight your corner because Cding won't go away !

[Marcelle]

Hi Kate.

Great post and resonates true. This has been a great site for me for the past year as I discovered Isha and progressed to where I am today. Chances are if you can think it (a question that is) somewhere here has lived. However your caution about interpreting what others say/advise should be heeded by all. Take the advice and apply it to your own situation, weigh the potential outcomes and then decide if it is right for you.

Hugs

Isha

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Kate,
That is such a true, and timely, statement.
I would just like to emphasize the fact that we are all unique.
We may all seem the same, think along similar lines, but we all have a totally
different view of what our dressing means to us. I cant help but feel that reading
into some of these threads, that some of the replies posted are not just confirming
my beliefs, but reading more replies may also be changing my beliefs to conform to what may be a common trait to the people that happen to be responding at the time.
Discussing issues is very important indeed, filtering out what doesn't apply to you is more important!
Talking with friends... Priceless!!!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Kate Simmons]

The thought came into my head that in the olden days the town men used to sit around the pickle barrel at the General Store to discuss anything and everything. Being TG men/women the Forum is our "pickle barrel". The women on the other had got together to talk and gossip at their sewing and quilting circles which was no doubt a bit spicier . As MTF CDers we haven't got quite to that point yet. The only thing I can think of that may be close to it is the relaxing "round robin" opener we used to have at the Renaissance meetings every month updating who we are and what we have been doing.This was a good de-icer. We're getting there in any case.

[Tina_gm]

I definitely agree. This forum has been good for me. I come here primarily for two reasons. One, being how to navigate through this and not loose or damage my marriage. Secondly, sometimes, often times, being who I am feels like a lonely experience. Even if I was to come out to my friends, I would not be able to discuss CDing with a connection. On here, I can discuss issues I have and find a familiarity and a a kinship of those who are in a similar situation as I am in, and it is a good feeling, not such a lonely feeling.

[LelaK]

Is it necessary to state the obvious? That this place is great? Sometimes.

What happens if something better comes along? Like what if they invent a way to touch each other online? Then will we think back on this as antiquated?

As for asking ourselves why we do this (crossdressing), I've never been concerned about that. I've had some curiosity, but not concern. I've simply always been glad/thankful that it's part of me.

[Kate's at home]

I appreciate being able to check in when I can for a dose of "normalcy" for this part of my life. As with all support groups, safety is critical and I continue to feel safe here after several years now. And I thank you all for that! I'm here intermittently as I am busy with work and many other activities, so don't have the free time some of you might have to be here. Over time and across the spectrum of experiences and motivations described here, I have managed to find acceptance of who I am and increasingly with more understanding. While I have set strict boundaries for myself in staying home (for many reasons), I now dress basically fully everyday, have for years now without too much thought anymore, and even sometimes wonder if I have come to take it either as "natural" and/or for granted. I have definitely come to see and experience being CD as a gift. In this context, I do value getting my periodic grounding here though, and try to give back what I can when I'm freed up to be here.

Hugs to all (after just reading several pages on the joys of wearing a bra),

Kate

[Seana Summer]

I would just like to emphasize the fact that we are all unique.
We may all seem the same, think along similar lines, but we all have a totally
different view of what our dressing means to us.

I think this is a really important point. We are all very different in where we are and were we are going yet we all have many things in common.

This board has been very good for me and I really appreciate all of you who share your stories here.

[Shawn_Always]

All I can say at this point is that I have to agree completely. I, like many of us here have struggled for my whole life with my cding and finally after 40(something) years am learning to accept this part of me. For most of my life I've experienced shame and fear over it but through reading of the many experiences and feelings that you all have shared here, I'm growing even more.

In no small part because of you all here sharing your experiences and wisdom, I finally "came out" to my darling wife earlier today on a long road trip home. And thus starts a new chapter...

I'll be posting about MY coming out experience in the next day or so.

Thank you all!!

[suchacutie]

We discovered Tina on a Saturday morning and by Monday I was here reading one post after another, my head just swimming in the vast array of experiences that make up this forum. Tina has never known a time without this forum. Thank you everyone!!!

[Stephskk]

Being extremely new the one thing that I have found to be uplifting about this place is that there are so many others like me. I see things a bit different now because of being here. It hasn't changed who I am but it has changed how I see others.

Not sure why but I would sometimes walk into a place, like a stadium and think, I wonder how many of the 10,000 people here are like me. I would answer myself, not many if at all. I can now see that number is higher than I ever believed.

[Ally 2112]

When i do come here i can feel somewhat normal and inspired by the posts and the pics of all the ladies here .It is not perfect but it helps .Thanks to all !