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Thread: Would you suggest crossdressing to anyone?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Jenny Elwood's Avatar
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    Would you suggest crossdressing to anyone?

    I suppose if you're fully closeted you don't have to worry about this one. If you're like me, only out to close people but go out from time to time, the opportunity might present itself with strangers. (Especially if they ask: Why do you do it? You know, reply with: Have you ever tried it? So how do you know you won't like it?) If you're out to the world, of course, there's nothing really holding you back.

    For me I would probably not do it for fear of getting someone else caught in this web. You know, they try it, like it and get stuck in it as well. I used to believe you are either a crossdresser or not, which meant you started on this path somewhere before twenty. With what I've read on so-called "late bloomers" I'm not so sure any more. Some will argue it lay dormant and was triggered by something, which implies the trigger was there all along. Others will argue it popped out of nowhere. (Sounds a bit like that other nonsensical theory: Nothing exploded and created everything). Either way I'd prefer not to be the one sending someone down this path, the price it extols on the person, his family, his marriage and/or relationships is too high, and I would not want to be the person responsible, even if it's a stranger.

    What's your take?

  2. #2
    Member VS Fan's Avatar
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    Don't think I would recommend this out of the blue, but if someone asked me about why I do it, (or even why I shave my chest, legs, etc) I would certainly reply with a "dude, just try it... " I don't think this is a curse by any means, so if I "triggered" this in someone else, I would be ok with that... VS Fan

  3. #3
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    For me crossdressing is innate. I need to and always have. Therefore, I can't see why a suggestion would get someone else to try it.

  4. #4
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    Hi Jenny
    How's my beautiful South African friend?
    Interesting thought but I guess the root of the matter is ' you either are or you aren't ' a cross dresser.
    The million dollar question is 'why do you (we) do it?' and I am yet to find an answer that deals with this question at its deepest level instead of the usual "it makes me feel good" or "it completes me as a person" etc. Don't get me wrong I believe these are valid answers so maybe I am searching for the undefinable.
    Sorry back to your point, so having said that a crossdresser will define their own path anyway. Read the plethora of articles about how people started and the triggers that spark the interest, along with the posts about how people feel if they are denied dressing opportunity. Merely suggesting that someone cross dress to try it may therefore not necessarily cause them to embark on the same path of discovery that many of us have taken. If the seed is within them then it will eventually germinate and blossom (if they care to nurture it)
    You are quite correct in your postulation about the potential ramifications of crossdressing and agree that these are not outcomes I would wish upon anyone nor want to indirectly instigate. Let them find their own way.
    By the way if I put on a Springbok jersey does that make me a crossdresser? (lol)
    Cheers
    Amanda

  5. #5
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    Well you're post makes some good points, if you're a non-CD you don't have the non-acceptance problems we do but the non-CD's don't enjoy the wonderful feeling of wearing those beautiful feminine feeling clothes we get to and I'm enjoying it right now. Isn't it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all????? Since I was born a CD I'm making the most of it by enjoying it "like right now" (panties, bra, forms, garter belt, stockings, heels, girl jeans and top). If I met someone who showed all the signs of being interested in being feminine and wearing the clothing I would tell him I am a CD and help him along, when I first started and you feel like you are the only one in the world that has a compulsion to do this I would really have appreciated another CD to have helped me along. It could have been a lot of fun, learning, shopping together and sharing this mutual interest.

  6. #6
    Daniella Argento
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    Crossdressing conundrums

    Hi Jenny
    Hope you are well.
    So my thoughts are that crossdressing is an EXCELLENT way for men to better understand the female side of things.
    Walking down a street in a pair of heels and a dress and being objectified is quite an experience.
    You realise just how vulnerable you are: you cant fight (very well), you can't run in the heels...
    You need to be careful, use your head etc etc...
    If every man did this I think we would start to see some different behaviours...
    The longer and more you do this, the more 'in touch' I think you would get.
    So, I think every man SHOULD crossdress at some time in his life, BUT I don't see too many being open to the idea so I wouldn't bother...
    Also I don't really think anyone who isnt so inclined would do it just because I said they should.\
    Just don't see that happening.
    Daniella

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Jenny Elwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amanda L. View Post
    By the way if I put on a Springbok jersey does that make me a crossdresser? (lol)
    No, but it does make you a better person. I've seen some pink Springbok jumpers for ladies supporters though, even has a nice feminine cut, will send you one if you wish. Chances are you will get beat up though, not for crossdressing, but for wearing the oppositions colors! I can only imagine what would happen to me if I went to Loftus in a pink Wallaby jumper. Ouch!

    Walking down a street in a pair of heels and a dress and being objectified is quite an experience.
    So Daniella you have actually done it! I thought your only trip out was to Trouble (gay bar).
    Last edited by Jenny Elwood; 08-29-2014 at 07:33 AM.

  8. #8
    Just a touch of class Lynn Marie's Avatar
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    I just can't support anyone wanting to deceive their wives and kids. It just makes me feel like the other woman. Now if you are unattached and free to dress as you like then I would definitely recommend CDing as an avocation, or hobby, or sport, what have you. Being retired and unattached myself, I'm having the time of my life. I have a bunch of great CD girlfriends and plenty of social activities to participate in. What could be better? On the other hand, I'll do my best to discourage any kind of controlling obsessions. They're just not healthy.

  9. #9
    Senior Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
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    Yes, I could see myself saying they should try it. I am only wearing skirts, but not, in my mind crossdressing as such. I almost certainly will, suggest some guys try that, as more people see me in them and they ask why. A few, who know me more closely, and who get the chance to explore the subject deeper, I will probably tell of how I originally thought of myself as a CD, and why I think I that started, (expressing the need to feel sexy, and being more vulnerable) which I think a lot of guys could benefit from.
    "Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO

    Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.

    The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny Elwood View Post
    No, but it does make you a better person. (I've seen some pink Springbok jumpers for ladies supporters though. even has a nice feminine cut, will send you one if you wish).

    I would cherish it.
    Luv
    Amanda

    Deebra
    I like your point about support for someone who has CD tendency. From personal experience the best thing that has happened to me was to make some very close and dear friends on this forum who have helped me enormously with my cross dressing. Whilst I would not want to send someone down the path as Jenny says I would certainly be there to offer any support they required and provide them with some comfort around any confusion they had
    Cheers
    Amanda
    Last edited by Amanda L.; 08-29-2014 at 04:05 PM. Reason: Fixed quote box

  11. #11
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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    For me it has always been backwards to that.

    It began with the desire to feel like a girl. That desire comes from deep inside me and has been there almost as long as I can remember. Once you're aware that you're having feelings like that, what can you even do about it? Dressing like a girl is a thing I could do about it, and so from about age 8 or 9 that's what I started doing.

    If somehow I'd never had the means and opportunity to dress in women's clothes for my entire life, the motivation to do so would always have been there.

    In other words what I'm saying ... at least in my experience ... the clothes are the symptom, not the root cause.
    "Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir

  12. #12
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    For me I have to say I would not encourage this for anyone, it comes with a lot of outside issues. Its like smoking or something like that I would not recommenced that either. I dont smoke so that was just an example.

  13. #13
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Honestly, I would advise against it. It's not for the squeamish or faint of heart and doesn't really do a lot for familers generally as it's an individual experience. and if you are going to do it you need to be committed (open to interpretation )If, however, a person really wanted to learn, I would be happy to share my experience but it would have to be their choice. Kind of like what we do on here.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  14. #14
    *~Plain-Vanilla TG Girl~*
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    Hmmm, i dunno. If i weren't this way, I'd be "normal"...according to the
    um...conventional interpretation. That would be terrible...for me anyways.

    I guess "normal" has it's merits, but it's *not* for me...lol!

  15. #15
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    This isn't like golf or jogging or knitting, etc. Cross dressing is not something anyone would "try" without being a cross dresser. It holds no interest or reason for non-cross dressers. You might suggest to a deaf person the best Beatles album to listen to but that won't go too far.

  16. #16
    Member Tiffany Jane's Avatar
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    I believe that whatever form of crossdressing a person takes, it comes from within. There are many mental and emotional obstacles to maneuver while finding ones' self without someone initiating these thoughts before knowing or understanding what they mean to themselves.

  17. #17
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    Actually, I've suggested crossdressing to a couple of people who appeared to be suffering from fairly serious gender dysphoria, but had never actually CDed. At minimum I'd suggested underdressing. They found it helpful in quelling some of the symptoms of their GD, or at least taking the edge off of them a bit. This wouldn't work for everyone, but if someone is telling you "I know I'm a woman, I'm going to transition," then why not help them along?

  18. #18
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Jenny - I'm glad you said you probably wouldn't... I just cannot conceive of a circumstance where it would would be appropriate to do so (accepting Paula's points in very specific situations).

    Isn't this a bit like: If you have to ask the price you really can't afford it...? As in: If you really don't have the feeling to understand why anyone would want to do this, you're just never really going to get it... (which is why the Muggles don't and the best we get is disinterest or guarded acceptance...)

    Defo not the thing to go talking to strangers about...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  19. #19
    Senior Member MsVal's Avatar
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    Just because I enjoy taking the contrarian point of view...

    If you knew a fellow, perhaps a friend that seemed to have an unusual amount of interest in your crossdressing, and with an anxiety problem, would you explore the possibility that the fellow has a desire to crossdress? Would you help him discover his femininity? Would you help him through his struggles toward self acceptance? Or would you ignore his interest and anxiety, leaving him to deal with his issues alone?
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  20. #20
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    No. People don't do this out of curiosity. It's intrinsic in dour nature, whether it's revealed at 3 or 63.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  21. #21
    Worlds Prettiest Dad!!! Jocelyn Quivers's Avatar
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    I'm going not suggest it at all, nor recommend it to anyone. Even trying to look at situations where it could be recommend- Ex. Your friend needs motivation to lose weight, exercise diet. "I have a great idea you should should cross dress" "After being too big to fit into a dress, and especially once taking pictures of yourself in said dress." You'll get tremendous incentive to eat right and exercise!. "What's that?" You have money burning a hole in your pocket and you want to know the quickest way to burn through all of it besides gambling, lotto, real estate, etc." "Cross-dressing and going on your very first shopping spree where you have to put together a matching outfit, shoes included" "Then you can invest thousands of dollars in permanent hair removal" "What's that you like living on the edge/ trying to live a secret double life worthy of a spy?" "Cross dressing my friend!" "Experience the rush of hiding your femme stuff from your wife/SO, along with the thrill of when your wife finds your hidden stash, along with silly excuses why you started shaving your legs!" Fun Times!!!!
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  22. #22
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    the question infers that this is something you do as a hobby or pastime. Did I miss the new agenda are we suppose to recruit again?
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  23. #23
    Vino, Vidi, Vici! Renee Elise's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Danitgirl1 View Post
    So my thoughts are that crossdressing is an EXCELLENT way for men to better understand the female side of things.
    Walking down a street in a pair of heels and a dress and being objectified is quite an experience.
    You realise just how vulnerable you are: you cant fight (very well), you can't run in the heels...
    You need to be careful, use your head etc etc...
    If every man did this I think we would start to see some different behaviours...
    The longer and more you do this, the more 'in touch' I think you would get.
    Fully agree Daniella...I wouldn't go out of my way to advocate it...but if someone were to ask me why I loved wearing women's clothes it would be all about the look and the feel...which you could only really appreciate if you tried it and got all made up and stuff. Looking like a sexy girl is just a phenomenal experience. Definitely not for everyone. Some of us have an innate sense of femininity woven in with our masculinity so it's just a part of us.

  24. #24
    Aspiring drama queen Isabella Ross's Avatar
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    I'm not TG because of any choice I made. I'm always skeptical of late bloomers who say that they started crossdressing on a whim late in life. CDs are born the way they are. So casually suggesting that someone "give it the old college try" just doesn't make sense. However, I only got past years of denial and self-punishment when a good friend turned out to be TG and helped me realize it wasn't the crime I thought it was. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time. In that respect, if I ever encounter someone who clearly has GD and needs a little help getting in touch, I'd jump in...gently, of course.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Read only Allison Chaynes's Avatar
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    My best friend knows about Allison. He lives 2 states away. I did recommend he give it a try. Don't know if he has yet, but he admitted he's been to a few drag shows.

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