Might want to just let him know just so if he uses other peoples computers to make double sure to clean it up as others might not keep quiet like you.
Might want to just let him know just so if he uses other peoples computers to make double sure to clean it up as others might not keep quiet like you.
Maybe he's not a CDer but has suspicions that you are, and he's baiting you to come out to him. I'd stay mum.
Maybe you could find a way to let him find a picture of you... that's what I would consider.
Deedee
It's not wrong... but it is forbidden!
Disclaimer: I hold the rather extreme view that I don't want anyone in my life that would stop caring for me if they discovered I am TG. Thus I always come down on the side of telling. I certainly recognize that attitude is not everyone's cup of tea.
With that background in mind, I would tell him I was TG and let him know I saw the picture. I wouldn't even hesitate. Knowing how lonely and scary the closet can be, how could I not take the opportunity to let a fellow traveller know they are not alone, especially my brother?
I am curious about two things, though: 1) Why have you drifted apart in your adult years?; 2) How long was your brother using your computer? I'm curious as to why he would have visited the sites/files he did on someone else's machine. The answers to these questions would give more insight to make am informed decision. Eh, who am I kidding? I'd tell him no matter what. LOL
You need an opening, a conversation starter: "Can I borrow your radio - your trans-sister radio?"
Susana, I would confide in him about your dressing and see when it goes form there, show him some picture of your self.
At least you are wanting to take an interest ☺
My sister wanted nothing to do with it as she is a bit conservative and thinks you should care about what others think.
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I agree with Isha's COA 1 and 2, and Kim. I have some small reason to believe my older twin brothers have cd'd, but i would not ever want to let them know i do. My dad i also suspect, as he complained, when my decesed mom's clothes were taken away. DADT is best sometimes. I would not force the issue, but, maybe mention about other CD's in a positive way.
I would just proceed cautiously and await an opportunity to let it come out naturally. He might sense that you are relaxed about cross dressing just from your reactions to events and news items and perhaps something he does or says. Be gentle, if he pushes on the "door" let it open naturally. He may have noticed something about you and even now is wondering whether to raise the topic.
I am an only child with no brothers or sisters so I'm not qualified to give sibling relationship advice. But here is another angle: perhaps you should have a conversation with your brother to protect him. You assumed he forgot to delete the shortcuts. Instead, maybe he doesn't realize that "Open Recents" type of functions will bring up recently created/opened files. If so, then his ignorance could create problems for him with his wife or children at home on his computer. Consider bringing up your discovery while using your computer from the perspective of trying to help him out and letting him know you are not judgmental toward him being dressed as a woman. However, and this is where I'm unqualified to give advice, think about if you want tell him your CD testimony before having the 'protection' conversation.
Nicole, you are so funny
Last edited by Shelly Preston; 09-01-2014 at 01:45 PM. Reason: Merged- please use the edit button
Since crossdressing so often involves a lot of internal conflict and pain and shame, and since all of that is compounded by the perceived need to keep it secret, I'd be in favor of moving toward finding a way to be open with your brother/sister. There could be some great healing ahead for both of you. Depends on what you feel comfortable with in taking your relationship with him/her to a new level. I like the idea of disclosing your own secret first, and then seeing what happens. There's some risk there, for sure, but a possibility that you could be supportive of each other in unimagined ways.
If I was in your high heels and it was my brother I would drop some very subtle hints about swapping clothes and role reversal. If you're really interested in his dressing and have a desire to do things as girls, it may be an opportunity for both of you.
Luv and Jill
Straight, into Fantasy Land
Sorry for the late reply, I was away from my computer for a few days. And thank you ladies, for taking the time to respond. I have read and appreciate every single reply.
I have given it lots of thought these last couple of days, and I have decided to do nothing about it at the moment. To answer some of your questions: We drifted apart when I went away to college at 18, he was 15. After, we had a couple of fights and didn't speak for a year. Now I'm 28 and he's turning 25, and now we get along great even though we're not close simply because of our busy schedules. However, him having children now brought us closer, as I'm always looking out for them and I'll babysit every two weeks or so, and he certainly appreciates that. So, yes we get along great, but we're not as close as I'd like to be.
There has been lots of replies of dropping sublte hints. I think I will take that route, but in the future. He's currently engaged to be married and planning to open his own business, so I think after he's a bit more settled I'll drop him some major hints and what happens, happens.
Here's a CAUTION: If you use someone else's Linux computer (or any type of machine you're not used to), be sure to know how to manilpulate files! That was the case here, a little different than Windows or Mac.
A lot of conflicted opinions.
I'd suggest talking to him. Start out by telling him he needs to be more careful when using someone else's computer. I'm sure the warning would be appreciated. If someone else had come across his link(s), it could have a whole other story.
DonnaT
Well, I found out about my brother because I happened on to his Yahoo adult profile some years ago. My comment was that he lived in a state without gender expression employment protection and needed to reassess whether he wanted a trivially easy way to get accidentally outed and possibly fired.
I never came clean about my preferred underwear styles. He has an at-least-somewhat-supportive wife, but I don't.
Susana,
I would speak to him just pointing out that he should not be careless when using other computers.
By all means tell him you know and maybe you will both have something to share.
it could be a great bonding experience.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.