Sorry for the super long post!
It's amazing what has transpired over the last few days. It has been both amazing and heartbreaking.
Two days ago I talked to my dad to find out if my mother knew I was on hormones. I have been going through obvious changes with HRT and I am no longer able to hide them from my mom. My dad let me know that he had told her last week. She was the last one to not know and that was based on a request from my dad. At this point, I decided... It's time.
I came out to Facebook. My heart was racing as I was typing out what I wanted to say. I'll paste my post below:
Ok folks.... It's about that time...
For a while now....a looooonnnngggg while... Like since I was very little, I have thought something very specific about myself. I kept it hidden from everyone because I believed people would think of me as strange, a freak, or worse. I believed my family would hate me. It's amazing how fear causes us to believe the worst about other people.
Well, last year, I put that fear aside. I'm no longer going to be governed by it. I decided to make the big step of transitioning and living my life as I always felt I should have been from the beginning... As a woman.
I started transitioning on April 16th of this year. It was a big milestone for me obviously. Many of you who I kept as friends when I did my Facebook purge already know about my transition but there are many who did not. Well, now you do.
I have not posted many pictures on my Facebook because I was not ready to formally let everyone know about myself, but it's time. I feel like my changes have taken enough effect that even if I wanted to hide it, I wouldn't be able to.
This is an exciting time for me. My life is changing, my body is changing, my perspectives are changing, and I want my friends and family along for the ride.
I am aware many of you will have questions for me. Most, I will be able to answer. Some I will not. Please use consideration if you comment on this post as I will not publicly answer overly private questions.
If you feel like you don't agree with my decisions and don't want to be a part of my life, feel free to unfriend me. You wouldn't be the first and I'm sure you won't be the last. In this transitional period of my life, I need love, support, friendship, and acceptance. I don't need negativity, harsh words, badmouthing, or the like. As I said in my purge post, there were lots of changes coming.... Well, this is the big one.
I love you all and hope you all stick around. Thank you for reading this and understanding.
:: hugs::
Wwweeelllll..... This didn't go over so well for my parents. Yesterday was my mother's birthday and because of my post as well as my profile picture change, she canceled her party because I was supposed to be there.
Shortly after canceling her party, she posted on Facebook that she would no longer be using Facebook because there was too many upsetting posts. I let her know that she would no longer see my posts and I made the hard move of unfriending her. It hurt so much. She let me know that if I could no longer present as a guy, she would not be seeing me. She let me know that she will no longer be a part of my life. I have been disowned. I am still able to talk to my dad and we are doing ok.
With all that going on, my sister calls me last night when I was at work and said... Grandma wants you to call her when you are free. My thoughts: oh dear God...
Reluctantly, I call her as I'm driving home. I haven't talked to her in months and with everything going on, I knew she had to have found out. She answers the phone and sounds rather cheery. She is 86 years old and I was terrified of causing her a heart attack or something. After about 10 minutes of chit chatting, she says, "so, I hear you have some news". Here it comes....
I explained my situation and how I felt. Her first question? "What do you plan on calling yourself?" I let her know that I am going to be changing my name to Alyson but I prefer Aly. She said, "well Aly, you will always be my granddaughter and I will always love you." From that point on, she referred to me as her granddaughter and called me Aly. She said I am always welcome in her home and no matter what, she will always be my grandma. We talked about the situation with my mom (her daughter) and she highly disagrees with what my mother is doing. She also let me know that her sisters grandson/granddaughter is also transgender and has already gone through her transition. So apparently I'm not the only one in the family. It was amazing. She also said that she wanted to help me along my journey and is apparently going to send me 20 year old Disney stocks that she has been holding onto. She doesn't know how much is there or how much it's worth, but she said if it helps with surgeries or whatnot, it's mine. She wouldn't take no for an answer as grandma's usually do so I should be expecting that in a few days. She is such an amazing sweetheart and a wonderful woman. My fears were for nothing. She sent me a message this morning telling me that she had stayed up all night praying for God to give me strength on my journey and for reconciliation with my mother. What an amazing woman. Maybe one day my mom will come around. I'm just happy to have such a loving family otherwise.
...
While I'm sure it was coincidental I think it's possible she's feeling a little sore that you've revealed this when you did - but if it's just that it will probably wear off, although I have a feeling you'll need to work on it to bring her around...
) we do only get the set we're born with and if you can come to some sort of accommodation with her, and she with you, I'm sure you'll both feel better and it will hopefully allow things to heal more completely over time...
