A night out with my wife in San Francisco

[Jenniferathome]

I have been spending a lot of time in the Bay Area lately and rather than go back to Idaho for the long weekend, my wife flew in to California. Saturday night we went to San Francisco to see Motown. This is a GREAT show by the way and if it comes to your town, SEE IT! It's the story of Barry Gordy and the making of Motown records. Just great. We stayed at the Grand Hyatt which is convenient for shopping and dining and seeing the city in general.

So what's missing from this post? Ah yes, the cross dressing part. Well, on this particular evening, there was none. We did shop, really her and not me, and she asked me if I needed a new dress or shoes or anything, but I did not. She actually expected that I would be wearing a dress and heels for this evening and expressed surprise that I chose not to do so. So why post this at all? Well, my message is this: It's ok for a cross dresser to not cross dress. I think this is a perspective that is lost here too often. A wife needs a husband far more often than she needs a cross dressed one. Balance.

So, what do you think? Is this balance or a lost opportunity?

[Marcelle]

Hi Jen,

I think you did the right thing . . . lovely night, lovely hotel, lovely show, lovely city and a lovely wife . . . why not enjoy it as a man and husband. You didn't miss an opportunity you capitalized on it . . . bravo.

Hugs

Isha

[Judith96a]

Whether it constitutes "balance" or a lost opportunity depends on your situation.
It sounds like your wife understands / accepts / possibly even enjoys your crossdressing. I guess that you have plenty of opportunity to "indulge", perhaps even more so while away from home. And I'm guessing that if you've been away from home for a while that she's been missing you. Given all of that, I'm inclined to go for "balance" (unless, of course, her surprise that you weren't in a dress and heels was expressed in a tone that suggested disappointment - in which case it was a missed opportunity to give her what she wanted). In the end only you know.

[JamieG]

Hi Jen,

I think you made the right call. You've been away from home, and have probably had plenty of opportunities to dress. You made it a night about her and you, not a night about crossdressing. If I was in your shoes, I would have only dressed if she had requested it (probably unlikely, if she's anything like my wife) or you hadn't dressed in a long time and the two of you had agreed ahead of time.

Jamie

[stefan37]

You didn't feel like dressing so you didn't. You have the freedom to dress whenever you wish, so it was hardly a wasted opportunity. Your wife expected that you would dress and you didn't. So I imagine she was pleasantly surprised. Good for you that you have found balance in your lives. Not many can enjoy that.

[Erica Marie]

Jenn it sounds as if you and your wife have found a great balance and I commend both of you for doing so. It is super wonderful that she sees with open eyes and open mind and accepts you for who you truly are. Plus spending time as husband and wife is a bit more important than a missed opportunity. There will always be another chance.

[Jaylyn]

Definitely a balance , I feel you did the right thing. You married to be the husband and wife team. The dressing the way I look at it is an extra ingredient that you can put in a marriage or not. I don't dress much around my wife when I sense we need the time spent as us together time. I don't go fishing or hunting when I sense we need some us time either. You and your wife together make a team and as I figure that's more important than one night of dressing. I'm saying this as at the moment I have no pink fog rolling in and feel manly.

[Rachel Morley]

I don't think it was necessarily a lost opportunity, that would depend on how the CDing is as part of your relationship. That said, if ever you wanted to go out in public en femme and mix in the mainstream and it not be an issue, and you totally feel accepted as the gender you are presenting as, then San Francisco is the place to do it. I've done it many times and I still cant believe how nonplussed and easy-going folks seem to be about it. Then again, if you've been spending a lot of time in the Bay Area lately then you probably already know what I'm talking about.

[tommi]

Most of our wives married us to be husbands and knowing she supports or at least
Tolerates is a gift of its own.
Making our SO s feel special is a job in itself sometimes

[Annaliese]

You have your head on right, balance, and your wife was happily surprised. Win win

[JustWendy]

I'm thinking that the missed opportunity would have been if you hadn't spent the day the way you did - with your bride, in a beautiful city, enjoying being a couple. I think the worst thing that could happen to us is to feel like we have to dress just because we have the opportunity. It should never become an obligation. My votes is for balance.

[Sara Jessica]

A romantic evening with your wife, chalk one up for balance!!!

[Allison Chaynes]

I think it's been pretty much covered, so let me just say congratulations on winning a battle with the Pink Fog.

[Nadine Spirit]

A nice balance. Good for you.

[Raychel]

Another vote for making the right call,

[alwayshave]

I think that you gave something to your wife and what's wrong with that. We all owe are SOs the things they need and want just like they owe the same thing to us.

[suchacutie]

I showed your post to my wife and she smiled. So did I.

I think that if you dressed rarely it would more likely be a lost opportunity, and that your wife would have been more vocal about your being en femme. As it is, the opportunity looks to have been well taken.

[Barbara Jo]

I've been to SF years ago and there are plenty of non CD things to do there. It's a fairly beautiful city in a beautiful area.with many tourist sites.
I still remember the great Chinese food, riding the cable cars, exploring Marin county...... for examples.
We even flew kites on the marina mall.

Although while there, the gal that I was visiting did take me to the famous "Finocchio club" when it was still in business

[Jenny_S]

Yes yes yes. Balance. It's what's missing across the spectrum these days. Kudos for you and your wife.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Hi Jen,

I think you made the right call. You've been away from home, and have probably had plenty of opportunities to dress. You made it a night about her and you, not a night about crossdressing. If I was in your shoes, I would have only dressed if she had requested it (probably unlikely, if she's anything like my wife) or you hadn't dressed in a long time and the two of you had agreed ahead of time.

Jamie

Jamie

Kind of a cute, if unintended, double entendre.

[Kris Avery]

Good call Jennifer - balance is everything.

[Amanda M]

First class choice, Jennifer! Lucky Mrs J!

[Lillyasia]

Yes, it's okay for a crossdresser not to cross dress. Sometimes there are more important things that take priority.

I'm here now and with no feminine clothing. The only shopping I done was at Home Depot and Lowes.

You picked one of the rare handful of days, in the summer, where there is no fog (the gray kind; not pink) at all to visit. There wasn't even any out at ocean beach. Amazing! Saturday evening was perfect for going out. Lots of pretty women all over the city.

If you get a chance, try the symphony. Or the opera next door. And if you are there, check out the 24 karat gold on the railing of city hall that tax payers paid for. Nothing like liberals spending others' money to pimp out city hall.

[Krisi]

My wife and I recently took a long trip. Like two months. I did not dress or take any female clothes other than my panties which I wear most every day regardless. I think balance is important and many wives would begin to worry if crosscressing is not something that you can do without when appropriate.

A couple days after we got home she came in and I was wearing my boobs. Her comment: "Well I see that trip didn't cure you." She said it with a grin.

[susie evans]

hi jen
glad you and your wife had a good time, the balance in life is hard for some of us to realize my wife and I have been married for over 40 plus years and some times Susie just doesn't feel like going out so the boy side make the trip , we have learned over the years of doing this that some times we just need a change for a little while and the world keeps on moving , my wife and I have been to SF many times and really enjoy the culture there and the latitude to do pretty much any thing you desire

Susie