Posting this in the transsexual forum, hope this is the right place...
I read many of the topics here, should respond more. Love all your stories...the ups & downs, the trials and tribulations...and the freedom to be one's self at the end of it all.
Here's my concern...I'm finding gender as more fluid than I had thought, a continuum. I still view myself as female on the inside after all these years (45 of them). Also in the mix is comorbid behaviors, namely depression and overeating. Feeling "flat", no highs or lows, for years now, it's been a coping mechanism in my situation, but it's getting real old.
While researching male hormones, it opened my eyes to how A) male hormone supplements may present a greater health danger than originally thought, and B) is the opposite of what I need in my own body.
Originally thinking that 'flat' feeling (which is really a lack thereof) would vanish with male hormones (never taken any though), after research, that doesn't seem to be the case. The though occurred to me: maybe the opposite is true in my situation: a very slight dose of estrogen, very slight, and T blockers ala MtF hormone therapy would be best? While I'm in no position to grow breasts (would love that eventually but not now) or to transition any time soon, the thought of realigning my own chemical balance to a more proper balance of hormones sounds like a solid idea. Testosterone sounds like the wrong direction in my case.
True or False? --> Thing is, I have no idea if this way of thinking is true or not. Going to see a doctor about male hormones seems like a futile effort as they probably wouldn't be able to work hormones on the other side of the hormone/gender spectrum. True? False?
Just not sure right now. Testosterone seems like the wrong path for me, finding a doctor who would be understanding of all this seems like finding a certain grain of sand on a beach.
and the mix of perhaps depression and overeating are making this even more complex for me to sort out. Who would be best to talk this through? A doctor who knows both sides of the hormone/gender coin? Therapist? Both? This crossroads of life a bit more confusing that I thought it would be. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you, Michelle