Are We Changing?

[LelaK]

I was noticing lately that few men seem to have long hair any more.

Question #1: Is society changing (again)?

#2: Are crossdressers changing?

In the 60s and 70s a lot of young men like me then grew long hair as a protest against militancy in society, i.e. objecting to unjust wars. For me it also made me feel girlier, which I liked.

#3: In the 80s long hair was still pretty common on men. Then what happened? Was it still common in the 90s? I'm just noticing now that it seems very uncommon suddenly. I didn't notice when the change came along. Or is my impression wrong? Is it still about as common as before?

#4: How do younger and older CDs feel about:
long hair
ear rings
piercings
tattoos
other (whatever oddity comes to mind)
Please state if you're an older or younger CD and what changes you see or know of.

#5: If society comes to accept crossdressing, like it did long hair, at least for a time, will the acceptance last or fade? Do we need to be vigilant to keep our freedom to CD?

My feelings about
long hair: love it, but wish I weren't bald on top
ear rings: never tried em, but may try the kind with clasps or whatever they're called some day
piercings: I don't care for that idea
tattoos: I've thought of getting a tattoo to make my bald head look like it has nice hair, but I'd only do it if it were cheap and organic. I'm also thinking of permanent makeup for my eyebrows and maybe eyelids, if it's organic.
other: shrug?
I'm an OLDER CD and I hope we're changing to being more accepting.

[Teresa]

Lelak,
This is an interesting point, I noticed over the years when photographing weddings that the younger men had less hair, not through hairstyles but just a lack of hair ! They say this could be down to increased levels of Oestrogen in our water supplies, which is also affecting fish and other creatures !

I thought that your question may have been more to do with natural evolution, I can see a natural progession towards the sexes coming closer together, the roles of men and women are becomming more equal, long term social changes will eventually affect our future evolution !

[Kate Simmons]

Society is filled with "sheeple" for the most part who bend to peer pressure and do what they are told. We change as we evolve individually as a person. You need a certain boldness to be your own person which many don't have as a rule. The ones who are bold tend to be their own person and they are the ones that will really progress and become better people. Tolerance is a big part of it as well. Sometimes we set the pace for that.

[Katey888]

Wow, Lela! That's a lot of questions already...

Society is changing all the time - different rates and for different reasons at different times, I think... You're right that strong external influences (war, politics, economy, etc.) can all have a positive or negative impact -but we seem to be in an increasingly libertarian society now, at least in the west... all is not good in eastern Europe and the middle east, clearly... I don't know whether we CDers are changing measurably....? We're such an eclectic bunch at the best of times it's hard to say where the baseline would be... so dunno...

As an 'older' CD (please don't ask...) I'm OK with long hair, though too lazy to have it myself, positively love earrings (clip-on or pierced) the danglier and hoopier the better , dislike other piercings or tattoos - I think a lot of these are just personal preference and what your personal values are... People have quirks and as long as their not too offensive or pushy about them, live and let live, I say...

If society accepts... hard to say - I can't help but feel that growing decadence will see a more puritanical backlash from some sections of society - so even if we were accepted more (which I think is happening) that could change, but I don't think it would go away completely - the pursuit and acceptance of fundamental human rights should be a bastion for us in the future, however the politics go...

Katey x

[Erica Marie]

I would say it is basically just a trend. Styles of cloths change as do styles of hair. Besides the mullet most males that grew their hair long never really styled it. Just grew it long and shaggy and maybe used a pony tail now and then. I think most true males are going for a more refined look. But you may not notice that alot of women now are wearing their hair shorter. I myself have adopted a style that is very much adaptable for a male or female style.

[NicoleScott]

Long hair, earrings, piercings, and tattoos allow a person to express their individuality, just like everyone else. hahaha
Seriously, acceptance for these things is not an indicator for acceptance of crossdressing.

[Marcelle]

Hi Lela,

In response to your questions . . . here it goes:

1. Long Hair - only had it once when I was young back in the early 80s (a bit of a metal head) it was down to my mid back. Got it all cut off when I joined the military . . . I was the guy who they shaved half his head then the barber went to lunch (it is a thing they do for fun I guess). So I went to the mess hall with half long and half shaved. I prefer short hair (not to mention I have to keep it short) as it is easier to deal with. What happen to long hair on guys . . . well I truly believe the "Mullet" killed long hair for men

2. Ear Rings: I had one ear pierced when it was trendy but it has long grown over. I use clip-ons now.

3. Other Piercings: Ah the visual/placement . . . ouch

4. Tattoos: I have two but both are my own drawings and have a personal meaning.

Hugs

Isha

[Sarah Doepner]

Is society changing? Yes. Is it changing in ways that will better support acceptance of those of us not at the gender poles? I hope so and if popular media is any indication it is. As positive images and stories of trans people filter through the media, it does create a little shift of the center. Will that move those who really don't understand and don't want to accept? Probably not, they will always be there. But the middle of society seems to be opening up and accepting to the Transsexuals in our midst and just may move the perception of crossdressers a little more in that direction as well.

As for the fashions of long hair, earrings, other piercings and tattoos, I don't know if that means anything for crossdressers specifically. But it does create a more diverse set of behaviors and appearances for the general public to become used to. Right now, a close haircut is fashionable but not the only option for men. It will change again, it always does.

I wear my hair long after having to meet a dress code for 30 years at work. No Tats, but I got my ears pierced when I was 60 and no one ever comments on it, at least directly to me. Now if I were to show up at my old job fully dressed in Sarahs finest I may discover that the culture there hasn't changed all that much since I left.

[Jaymees22]

It looks like society is always changing and not always for the best.

It looks like most men are wearing their hair short now, but really anything goes. I wore my hair very short when I was young and when I was in the Marines. Then after that I've always worn it a little long, I need to my head is very lumpy and I feel lucky to still have a full head of hair at my age.

As far as earrings go I wear clip-ons or ones I have made that utilize magnets, they almost look like ear plugs. I find that type of ear piercing fascinating. I have a strong aversion to pain so personally I will never get any piercings or tattoos.

I kind of like pictures of women with body mods but when I encounter them in real life not so much.

[Tiffany Jane]

Have short hair...would take years to grow out. Not a fan of hair anyway regardless of where it is.
I cross dress for many personal reasons...can't say it has anything to do with society, unless to get away from it.
Ear rings...had one (left ear). Has been removed and grown in. Thought about both or one again.
Piercings should remain in ears unless your culture dictates otherwise.
Tattoos I am currently thinking about. Wife has one...now its a race to see who goes next.
Other would be make up. With all the other work that goes into this...how much is too much?
Thirty something cder. All ages and all forms. Society will only tolerate what they understand or don't see.

[RADER]

I wish I could have longer hair; However, the Male Pattern Baldness set in and I am
losing hair every day. The last time I went in for a hair cut, The barber used
Simonize on my head. LOL
Rader

[KlaireLarnia]

My thoughts

1) Society is always changing, just not in ways we always see immediately or end up liking...

2) Long hair. The problem with men and long hair is many men cannot grow it in a way that it looks good. I spent 2 years with long hair, it never got past my shoulders and looked like a mop on my head no matter what I did. I have the unfortunate pleasure that the very last photograph of myself, my brother & our late father was with me having long hair - and even I admit I look stupid in it. It is REALLY bad and embarrassing to the point i actively ensure no-one sees it.

I think it has become uncommon purely because it just doesn't get long enough to be decent. Many women pony tail their hair or style it so it adds body and bounce or whatever because that is part of their looks and style. Men simply grow it and do nothing past that. Do we all want to end up looking like Professor Snape after all? I don't, not again anyhow....So it is not a question to me. Short hair is now accepted as being more stylish because we are lazy and it is easy to manage.

3) Ear rings are fine, even in my 40's my ears are pierced and I wear earrings daily. I have no issue with it, simple studs look fine in men as do small hoops. Just a case of not wearing anything overboard and you will be fine.

4) piercings & tattoos. I hate these with a passion. I would go mental if my wife had any other part of her body pierced or got a tattoo - same for my daughter. Earrings are around eye level so we see them and they attract our eyes to the level of the wearer which can be good. Anything else is unnecessary, if we where meant to have mental through our tongues, eyebrows, noses, nipples, privates etc we would come with holes there from birth. Similarly I don't get the point of using your body as a canvas. I just don't get it and never will...

5) "If society comes to accept crossdressing, like it did long hair, at least for a time, will the acceptance last or fade? Do we need to be vigilant to keep our freedom to CD?"

It will never happen sadly. Society cannot accept something for which there is no set reason for it occurring. We all dress for different reasons, different goals, different needs, different desires. Unless you are transgender chances are you cannot put the "why" down to anything more than, "because". If you took a random group of 50 people from here, I guarantee you could not get them all to agree to sit behind a banner which says "I dress in women's clothes because of x. I want to do this because of y. What I want from society is z". This is because we are all here for different reasons and want different goals. Our broadness is our downfall and the public cannot accept something we cannot explain or agree on ourselves.

Homosexuality was originally thought of as a illness which could be cured, it was only much later we understood it is genetics and there is nothing wrong in people of that nature. Unless medical research shows the desire to dress in the opposite sex's clothes is down to a gene, we frankly are screwed and will never get accepted and may not even if it is proven.

That's my thoughts and really they are just mine....

[Annaliese]

I had long hair in the 70 for much the reason you did, keep it til I notice it thinning, and the hair line reseeding, It just did not look good anymore. It I still had a full head of hair, it would be long now.

[JessicaJHall]

I had theee most beautiful long sun-bleached blonde Marsha Brady style hair in the 70's, till I had to get a job that is. I was not big into AF thing at the time though, a shame, really. I must have been pretty cute, guys would hit on me!! Confused, I would politely tell them I was not into that.

[kimdl93]

Unrelated conditions. Hair styles come and go. Gender attitudes, like racial stereotypes, are long and slow in coming.

[cassandra54]

I just turned 60. I had long hair in the 70's and 80's. I can't grow much of any hair these days. I had my ears pierced recently and as far as tattoos go, it's not for me. I saw a lot of change in the 60's, but most of it is long forgotten. Being transgendered is more mainstream and there's lots of stories of people in the news who've changed their gender identity and even their gender.

It's up to all of us to carry the torch. Get dressed, go out in public and let people know who we are. We all have various reasons for doing what we do, but we all want freedom to do whatever we want and acceptance.

How much this happens remains to be seen. Like I said there was a lot of change in the 60's. I saw the war on poverty, the sexual revolution, women's liberation, the peace movement and the civil rights movement. It doesn't seem like we've kept up with a whole lot of that. I think the reason is is that society for all it's pretty words and grand ideas, hasn't really changed all that much.

[donnalee]

The boomers are moving through the male pattern baldness zone, so there are fewer men with long hair and a lot more shaved heads for that reason. When I retired, I grew mine out just to see how it would look and found that it softened some rather craggy facial features. I have very little gray and a full head of hair, even though I'm pushing 70, so for me it's practical.
What isn't expected is the amount of care required (why older women wear theirs shorter). When I was working I showered and washed my hair every morning, now it's more as needed, knowing that the hair will take an extra 45 minutes or so to style and dry. If I use a shower cap, I can keep the hair care down to once a week or so; barring unusual situations, this seems to work OK.

[Alice Torn]

I see a lot of older men, with balding heads, but with long hair in the back, in pony tails. Sadly , I see the vast majority of women over 45, have had their beautiful hair sheared off, even around the ears, in wedge, or poodle cuts. I like long hair on older women. Guys can look good with longer hair too. I depends on the face, body proportions. Yes, other than rock bands, long hair on guys is not common anymore. Tank tops and muscle shirts were not worn by men until the late 1960's much . Now they are the norm. Some guys look silly in them. others ok. Hair and clothing change in the west.I don't think attitudes about Cding have changed much.

[Ally 2112]

I thankfully still have my hair i have only cut it once in the last 20 years but let it grow again .It is down to the middle of my back and i have no intentions of cutting it again .I like it and do not really care what anyone thinks .It is just who i am and yes i have heard all the comments some negitive and some positive

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lela, Don't hold your breath waiting for Society to accept us .

[Jamie001]

I believe it depends upon what we want society to accept. For example, women for the most part are able to freely dress in articles of men's clothing and are accepted. In other words, adding masculine articles to their look while still projecting as a woman. On the other hand, men that crossdress in attempt to be viewed or pass as women are entirely different and I don't believe that society will ever come to acceptance because of the deception aspect. I believe that men that simply incorporate feminine fashion articles while not trying to deceive folks into believing that they are a women have a much better chance of being accepted. Case and point are long hair and recently within the past 20 years earrings. Consider for example wearing a skirt or capri pants and women's shoes while otherwise appearing as a man, just like women incorporate men's items into their look.

Hi Lela, Don't hold your breath waiting for Society to accept us .

[cassandra54]

I believe it depends upon what we want society to accept. For example, women for the most part are able to freely dress in articles of men's clothing and are accepted. In other words, adding masculine articles to their look while still projecting as a woman. On the other hand, men that crossdress in attempt to be viewed or pass as women are entirely different and I don't believe that society will ever come to acceptance because of the deception aspect. I believe that men that simply incorporate feminine fashion articles while not trying to deceive folks into believing that they are a women have a much better chance of being accepted. Case and point are long hair and recently within the past 20 years earrings. Consider for example wearing a skirt or capri pants and women's shoes while otherwise appearing as a man, just like women incorporate men's items into their look.

It's going to be come more widely seen, tolerated and perhaps accepted as more and more of us venture out in public. It also helps when there are lots of stories about TG's in the news like Chase Culpepper in South Carolina. The mere fact that his parents accept him so much that he goes to take his driver's license photo as his fem self is great. I think for the most part nobody notices anyway.

While a lot of women prefer to dress casual in jeans and tee shirts, I don't think it would work for men to as you say, wear capris or a skirt. I think you have to go all the way or not at all and try to look live every other woman out there. The reason is that while a woman might be wearing jeans and a tee shirt, you would know she's a woman. On the other hand, a guy wearing capris and women's shoes, looks like a guy wearing capris and women's shoes. People would notice that.

[LelaK]

It seems that, when men shave, they're trying to look like women.

[Jamie001]

Yes, and also if a man is wearing capris or a skirt while still appearing as a man, you would still know that he is a man. He is just incorporating articles from women's fashion. This is the same as a woman wearing articles of men's clothing. The problem comes with the deception of of a man attempting to appear as and being perceived as a woman. He is attempting to be something that he is not.

It's going to be come more widely seen, tolerated and perhaps accepted as more and more of us venture out in public. It also helps when there are lots of stories about TG's in the news like Chase Culpepper in South Carolina. The mere fact that his parents accept him so much that he goes to take his driver's license photo as his fem self is great. I think for the most part nobody notices anyway.

While a lot of women prefer to dress casual in jeans and tee shirts, I don't think it would work for men to as you say, wear capris or a skirt. I think you have to go all the way or not at all and try to look live every other woman out there. The reason is that while a woman might be wearing jeans and a tee shirt, you would know she's a woman. On the other hand, a guy wearing capris and women's shoes, looks like a guy wearing capris and women's shoes. People would notice that.