In the past, I have moaned, groaned, and whined much on this forum about my Amazonian-like height and ginormous size.
Standing barefoot at 6 foot 4 and a half inches tall in height, and having hovered between 220 and 230 pounds over the past two decades, I haven't exactly been among the smallest of folk around.
Over the past couple of years, I really let my stature get the best of me and negatively impact my attitude as I wallowed pathetically in fear and self-pity within my own personal sea of gender dysphoria.
But what I was missing back then was the obvious. At least, it was obvious to you all, because everyone here got it, and you all tried over and over again to hammer the message in and make me understand.
Reality is what reality is. Don’t sweat the stuff you can’t do anything about, but instead focus on and dedicate your energy towards those things you can influence and affect to create positive change and progress forward.
For whatever it’s worth, I’ll admit it - I was wrong to tie myself to the massive anchor I personally forged and throw it over board in deep waters.
Although true I cannot do anything about my height, I can and I have done much about with my body since getting my focus together earlier this year.
In this regard, I finally did something worthwhile and productive. I finally shut my mouth, stopped my complaining, and *listened* to you all. Then I set personal goals, I pretty much changed everything about how I was living my life, and I began working my absolute butt off (quite literally) to prepare my body for a fulltime and forever more life as me.
So here’s the deal – I have been on HRT now a few months shy of two years, I have lost about fifty pounds of dude bulk since late 2013, and I have been growing my hair out and working with a stylist to help me with my "look" for a little more than a year.
The "before" pictures are from late summer 2013, and I weighed in around 225ish lbs at the time. The "after" pictures are approximately one year later, from just a couple of weeks ago or so. I weigh in now between 175 and 180 lbs.
And yes, I fully recognize that I totally need FFS, so please be kind and take solace in the knowledge that I will do everyone a solid and rid the world of my dude-tainted face in the future.
The point of this post, though, is about taking responsibility for one’s self, making progress, and moving forward.
Despite all of the crap going on around me, I feel by far and away the best I have ever felt about myself, which is powerfully, powerfully self-validating. I was stuck in the mud there for quite a long time, and looking back on it, I now understand and can own up to the fact that any and all fault and blame for that lies squarely on my shoulders.
Be that as it may, all of that is now ancient history.
Although I know I still have far to go and much to do, the bottom line is that I now feel the best about myself I ever have as a person. I have a sense of hope, confidence, and self-love about myself that I have never had before. And the healthier I have become in body, the healthier I have also become in spirit. As an completely unexpected but much welcomed consequence, I have discovered the power and positive benefits of the two working in concert together - each feeding off the other, strengthening the other, supporting the other, and reinforcing the other. I always knew such a thing was possible, I just never thought it would be possible for me. Which, incidentally, constitutes yet but one more thing, in a long and ever-growing list, that I have been wrong about, but I digress . . . .
Regardless, I know I can do this now. I know I can do anything I set my mind to. The possibilities are limitless, and I have bought into the collective wisdom and experience of this membership that has helped open up my eyes. I am responsible for me, and if I am going to live life authentically and make something of myself, it is up to me to do so.
So to all of you folk out there in Trannyland who haven’t figured out yet how to shut the hell up and get over yourself - if I can get over myself, particularly given the challenge presented by the overly thick skull and dimwitted brain found within that I am stricken with, then certainly you should be able to do so with relative ease by comparison.
I'm just sayin' . . . . :-P
Originally Posted by Anne2345
Rachel Smith May 2017
