If anyone saw my other most recent thread, I got married this year. I divorced last year, which is why I joined the site (I just have to be me!). My new wife is understanding and does my make-up and has no problem with Veronica whatsoever.
I've been reading threads here about how to deal with neighbors.
What I would like some advice on is this (apologies in advance, as there is a lot of backstory):
I've been trying to sell my house since the divorce. For several reasons, I sort of have to live in the house (but my wife and I see each other several times a week). The house has been on the market since June 2013 and I only had one offer on it (an offer so low I laughed).
When the house sells and I move into my wife's place, Veronica will be very prominent. The neighbors where she lives have seen drab me, not Veronica yet, but if Veronica is around when I move in, it won't be too much of a shock to the neighbors, because I'll start out living there that way. (Not necessarily daily, but having Veronica out and about a few times a month from day one is better than living there for a few years, then having Veronica show up, I think).
Anyway, since the house isn't selling, and I have several rooms empty, I've decided to rent out the rooms to make a little extra money.
-- Before going farther, I need to tell or remind people I live in Japan. --
My first tenant arrives next week from overseas (she is Japanese but wants to look for work in Tokyo, and renting a room is way cheaper than anything else). I have not met her in person yet, but in my ad to renters I state that renters should be open to alternative lifestyles. The renter replied in an early email saying that she has lots of gay friends so it is not a problem (um, I'm not gay. She's under the impression that I am, but for all intents and purposes I might as well be, as I would not make any advances on a female renter, or a male renter either for that matter.).
Anyway, I put the "alternative lifestyles" part in the ad simply because I don't want Veronica to disappear now that I have a house where I can be free to dress how I please. Making extra money each month is not worth Veronica going back into the closet.
I am on very good terms with my neighbors. I sweep the leaves off our street without anyone asking me to help (which is kind of a big deal for the neighborhood, but I do it partly because it needs to be done, partly to show that the foreigner on the block is an upstanding guy). I doubt the neighbors have ever seen Veronica (at least, no one has said anything).
I'm thinking that when this understanding renter moves in, it would be a good opportunity to start being more open with myself and having Veronica be more present without hiding.
What to do? It's a two-part question, actually.
1) When the renter arrives, should drab me or Veronica greet her? She arrives at midnight, so it's not like the neighbors will see me then. Would it be off-putting to the renter or more confirming that she will be in a safe environment, living with a guy she has never met before? Having Veronica there from the get-go would show that alternative is alternative, and that I would be accepting of her if she is accepting of me (as long as she doesn't paint the walls or steal stuff).
2) More importantly, just like when I move in to my wife's place, things will start off with Veronica there. When the renter moves in, it's a "fresh start" of sorts, so it seems that it's the best opportunity to bring out Veronica here while living in the house.
Should I bother with the neighbors knowing or keep it all inside, like I've done all these many many years? If so, should I approach them and say something along the lines that "I'm going through some changes. There will be people renting rooms in the house so don't be alarmed, and oh, by the way, you'll see me in a wig, skirt, and heels from time to time."
What to do?!?!
Apologies again for the whole convoluted situation, but thoughts and advice are much appreciated!
V
Lots going on... sooo...
Originally Posted by TokyoLily
