CHANGE : It's time to de-demonize "tranny" term

[CarlaWestin]

I've never cared for the terms 'gay' or 'queer' but, the community has transformed them to symbolize pride.
Personally, I'm only offended by context and intention.
Funny, I just enjoyed the stage performance of Kinky Boots.
Of all the gender twisting terminology used, the one I seem to like the best is Nancyboy.
Go figure. :-)

[suchacutie]

Any word with many syllables will be shortened in common usage. Transgendered is bound to be susceptible. I have never minded the shorter version being discussed here, and can think of many. worse things Tina could be called. Tina has never felt the use of the word tranny in relation to her was pejorative.

[Adriana Moretti]

A friend of mine uses Google Analytics for her blog to research keywords people use and amazingly the word transvestite was more popular of a search word than crossdresser (nerd alert) ...my assumption ( just a guess) is the people searching with this keyword are actually clueless and looking for a starting point.

Personally,..I think the term tranny just sounds like something out of Rocky Horror but I dont really care either way , it has no effect on my life...I dont need anymore labels except maybe Calvin Klein, Guess etc......

[LelaK]

I'm okay with the terms Tranny, She-male, LadyBoy etc. I like porn, when it's not gross, and those are my favorite porn terms.

[Lorileah]

OK people. So what should be a lang, spoken term ?

"Transgendered person" is not going to make it. Not because people don't want to be "correct" but because they are lazy. It needs to be short and easy to pronounce.

This is really a questionable thing to ask. You have to look at it from the perspective of the person being described. There are a lot of words, which people who are not in the group, think are OK to say. You don't use those terms especially around that group. "Tranny" is often used by non-TGs as a way to put down a person who is presenting as a non-same gender.

You want something short and easy? How about "person" seems simple enough...interchangeable in every instance that "tranny" can be used, not and insult. How about we take the time to NOT say "let's use this word" and use that same time for just accepting everyone for who they are and not having to label them? Especially with a word that can be hurtful or mean.

[cindychan]

I've preferred CD and trans over the years. Tranny and transvestite sound trashy.

[PaulaQ]

I'm okay with the terms Tranny, She-male, LadyBoy etc. I like porn...

How nice for you. I think all of those terms are vile and incredibly offensive to me as a transgender woman.

The problem with porn is it objectifies us, and the industry itself is vile and horrible to the women who work in it. Trust me, you have no idea how badly it can screw a person up to do sex work when it seems to be the only real work they can get. Some women do this work to pay for their transition. Can you imagine the cruelty of women forced to sell their bodies to pay for medical care?

Those terms just serve to reinforce stereotypes that trans women are just sex objects - not even human beings, really. And that's the problem - sure, folks like you may fetishize our anatomical peculiarities - that's nice and stuff, I guess. But telling those who don't like us that we aren't human, and are fair game to injure or kill?

If you want a short term for a transgender person, what's wrong with "trans"?

Or hey - here's a radical idea - just refer to us as what we are - women. (And of course men, for the FTM dudes.)

Lela, the terms you used to describe trans women are words that belong in the categories of hate speech reserved for certain vile and degrading ethnic and religious slurs.

[Eryn]

Could you kindly point out where I denigrated a community I'm very fond of?...

Let's see, there's the part where you termed us "weekend crossdressers" and the part where you implied that this is something that we "can just walk away from."

I'm a "part timer" and I can't walk away from who I am. GD is just as important and compelling to us as it is to "full-timers" which is a big part of why this forum exists. I may dress only part-time, but I'm TG all the time. In many ways our GD is harder for us to deal with as we can't or won't walk away from the obligations entered into by our male selves. We end up living our lives as best we can on both sides of the divide , and it certainly isn't easy for us.

Generally speaking, if you need to edit a quote to remove all relevant context to take offense then you're reaching for something that isn't there.

If I left the post intact, I'd be chewed out for excessive quoting since your post was directly above mine. I put in enough text to let the reader know to what part of your post I was referring. That's how it is supposed to be done.

[Michelle789]

Or hey - here's a radical idea - just refer to us as what we are - women. (And of course men, for the FTM dudes.)

Thank you!!! I am a woman, nothing more, nothing less. I'm not a tranny, she male, a shim, ladyboy, or anything else of the like. I would like to be called as any other woman would be. Girl is great too since it reinforces my youth, and I am 23 forever

At my very first support group meeting someone there mentioned that the T-word should be treated like the racial slur. We have a long way to go until we get there. Sadly if anyone says the racial slur, even white people will beat you or ostracize you for saying it. But saying the tranny seems to be socially acceptable. I look forward to the day when a cis person will beat you or ostracize you for saying the T-word.

[Jennifer in CO]

I'm not a "Tranny"...theres nothing shifty about me.....

but I do work well in clutch situations....

[janetcgtv]

What's the problem. Each of us knows who we are. Some one in society does not tranny is an umbrella term which includes all types. I'm a non-op TS because of health and financial reasons Just because one doesn't have SRS that does not make them a non TS. Until some one gets involved with me they may only think I'm a tranny. Someone else is a cross dresser, until someone knows who they are they can call them a sissy(me as well) . Like someone said people want a simple term in dealing with a group while trying not to insult any one. When people get to know you as an individual they will want to use the terms which directly identify you.
So please don't create a mountain out of a mole hill.

It's just not worth it to hurt the feelings of a person who wants to know us.

Take my Mom. When she found my cousins blouse in my closet . She said "that if I was born a girl , she would have named me Penelope".

However my friends would have just called me Penny

[Shelly Preston]

A lot of the trouble stems from how words are used. I know someone who described themselves as a "token tranny" for particular circumstances.

I don't like it due to the way the media use it as a derogatory term which has the affect of putting down the whole community.
A person could be the best at their job but because a particular newspaper does not like it the will demean the person by using the word tranny.

For those of you who are are a little older the will remember when "Gay" was a word to describe fun and happy and not used for sexuality.

So really its all about the context in which the word is used.

[Marcelle]

I am not a big label gal as many know and I can never understand why it is important to be known as anything but a "person". However I do get that for some definition of who we (the TG community writ large) is important. I can also understand how the term can be offensive to our TS sisters and brothers who want to known as the gender they wish to be (man / woman). My opinion on this . . . I was called a Tranny by a passing truck of dudes one day while out and about . . . did it bother me? Yes, but more so that it brought unwanted attention from those around me. But for me it is a word . . . believe me I have been called far worse when "en boy". So . . . while some may find it trendy, quirky and fun others will find it offensive, negative and hurtful. I think we can all agree on that

. . . I am irked by part-timers advocating for the use of terminology that has been used to degrade the entire trans community, because it's something a weekend crossdresser can just walk away from. They don't have to deal with day-to-day discrimination every day of their lives, in housing or at their job, so they don't pay the same kind of price transitioners, particularly non-passable transitioners, have to deal with.

Hi Kimberly,

I understand your ire over this and get your point as I agree that one group should not run rough shod over another when it comes to trying to gain acceptance in this world. However, as a part-timer I have to wonder about the statement "being a weekend crossdresser and just walking away" . . . nobody part-time, full-time just walks away from this. It is with us all the time as evidenced by the plethora of individuals who quit only to return. In addition, I may only be a part-timer but Isha is part of who I am and I am openly TG in my life, my family, my social life and my work . . . so yes, I do pay the same kind of price as full timers but from a different perspective. I have lost friends, some credibility to do my current job, people giggle behind my back when I am work (en boy). We all fight the good fight in our own ways and every part-timer who goes out in the light of day makes us that much more known to the world as an entire community.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

Call me anything but "late for dinner". Believe me, if you have a thin skin in this "business", you are not going to survive.

[katie elouise]

Hi I totally agree with eryn there are people out there who would love to be dressed more of the time ,but live life with the compromise of family / children /careers this does not make them any less involved or committed , but maybe a whole lot more frustrated .

[mariehart]

When I first started dressing in female clothes as a kid I called myself a transvestite because that was the accepted term as in someone who cross dresses. I was a TV. Somehow later crossdresser became the more accepted term but it's noticeable that my spell corrector on this computer underlines that crossdresser as a misspelling. That tells you something in terms of it's recognition outside our walled garden.

Make no mistake, this is an argument in a walled garden. We can argue endlessly about what is and what isn't offensive but ultimately on the other side of the wall out in the real world we are all trannies whether we like it or not. Indignant protestation in what is still our very much a closeted community won't change that.

The gay world took this kind of thing head on and while not eliminating it completely it has lead to greater awareness in the public at large and the media. Yet still people refer to gays as queers and other less than pleasant terms.

Until something similar happens in the CD world. Nothing will change.

As it is I don't find the word tranny offensive. I would find the word pervert offensive though and that is more than likely the term used.

[sarahjan]

I would agree that the term tranny is often used in a derogatory term as is the world "sissy" which is another term some crossdressers like to use to describe themselves.

I would also agree that the term "transgendered" is to long for many people.

The word I do like from the blog of Stana is Femulate.

[PaulaQ]

@Isha - you may think you've been called far worse than "tranny", but you really can't understand what those who use that word in anger mean until you've been chased by a group of angry men who mean to beat up the "big old tranny" they've run across.

Or, how about this one? You are new in transition, and desperately in need of medical care your society denies you. You are trying to live your life as a woman, and you overhear the following: "hey, look at that tranny over there! Hey go over and talk to her, I bet you can get into her panties!" Followed by some F'n guy walking over and trying to grope you - as if that's the sure-fire way to get a date with a woman. But of course they've made it abundantly clear that you AREN'T a woman - you're a "tranny."

I hope these little, real-life stories show how and why the term tranny is so hurtful to those of us who transition.

[devida]

I am a woman, nothing more, nothing less. I'm not a tranny, she male, a shim, ladyboy, or anything else of the like. I would like to be called as any other woman would be. Girl is great too since it reinforces my youth, and I am 23 forever

I absolutely agree that we own the odds that describe us and can require that people use those words. So, if you want people to call you a woman you can certainly require that. You might not get full compliance but you would probably get quite a bit. Plus you get the added benefit of people being encouraged to use the proper pronouns.

My problem is that the word woman does not describe me, or people like me, does not describe many cross dressers nor ftm non op, no hormone transgender folk, nor a few other varieties of the transgender population. For general and non controversial use I like the word trans because it is an umbrella term and it can be easily modified as in trans woman, trans man, trans boy, trans girl, or, in my case, trans non binary, trans genderqueer. I do have a problem with trans GQ because it will always sound too well dressed and gentlemanly! Also there is precedent for compounding like this in the word transexual and transvestite.

For a time trans* was popular but I have no idea how you would say it. I'm glad it didn't really catch on. Every time I saw it I thought the asterisk denoted something missing, maybe a bad word?

Isn't trans anyway the word that is mostly used, both as a noun and adjective?

[Sara Jessica]

Could you please clarify your statement? By "Muggle" are you referring to someone completely outside the TG community, or is your goal to denigrate the "part timer" portion of our community as Kimberly did?

Yes Eryn, the Muggles are the non-wizard types as has been mentioned above. It is a term I've been using for non-TG individuals for as many years as I have been writing on these pages.

As for denigration, I'm not so quick to denigrate myself so I think that is self-explanatory. However, Kimberly didn't even come close to denigrating anyone either. Just as Muggles generally cannot tell the difference between a full time woman in transition or the "weekend crossdresser" who is exploring the outside world, fact of the matter remains that said weekend crossdresser can in fact retreat back to a place where they don't have to face any of the pressures of presenting a 24/7/365 face to that same outside world which can be less than forgiving, assuming one in either camp is in fact read as trans. There is no comparison to detecting a look, a chuckle or a sneer on occasion during an outing to the full-time woman potentially detecting the same things on a constant basis. It gets old, it wears on people, it requires developing some very thick skin which still may be insufficient.

So color me with the part-timer camp. This has nothing to do with many of us part-timers being full-time at heart (dealing with constant GD), that is not the issue. At the end of the day, whether I prefer it this way or not, I put on the guy, retreat to my family and other obligations and none of the trans issues exist to the outside world short of my wife knowing the score. I don't have to worry about being called a tranny by others. I don't have to worry so much about the chuckles behind my back. I go from being an utter minority to being part of a non-oppressed group with a change of clothing and removal of makeup. I am not paying the daily price that Kimberly references. This doesn't minimize the fact that my own GD issues exist, I'm just dealing with them in a different way. But my life experiences are markedly different from those who are full-time and I would never be so bold as to endorse a term that has hateful connotations that my full-time sisters put themselves out to potentially hear on a day to day basis.

[Kimberly Kael]

Let's see, there's the part where you termed us "weekend crossdressers" ...

I was referring to people who crossdress on weekends, which was something I did for many years. Would you prefer "non-weekday crossdressers?"

... and the part where you implied that this is something that we "can just walk away from."

... as a part-timer I have to wonder about the statement "being a weekend crossdresser and just walking away" . . .

Now I understand the confusion. I certainly didn't mean to suggest that crossdressing is something you can simply abandon altogether. My point was just that most crossdressers pick and choose the times that they present opposite their assigned gender. They can, and do, avoid dressing in a lot of situations that someone who is full-time doesn't have much of a choice about. If your legal identity is still male then you can decide for a court date, or a bank loan application, a meeting with clients, or a parent / teacher meeting to present as male. I'd wager most here that aren't full-time can and do make these kinds of decisions to walk away from being visibly transgender when there'so something of consequence on the line.

I can't. That's why I find it troubling that anyone would push back on what feels like social progress. It affects me in a very real and direct fashion, and I was trying to articulate that as clearly as possible.

[Marcelle]

@Isha - you may think you've been called far worse than "tranny", but you really can't understand what those who use that word in anger mean until you've been chased by a group of angry men who mean to beat up the "big old tranny" they've run across.

Or, how about this one? You are new in transition, and desperately in need of medical care your society denies you. You are trying to live your life as a woman, and you overhear the following: "hey, look at that tranny over there! Hey go over and talk to her, I bet you can get into her panties!" Followed by some F'n guy walking over and trying to grope you - as if that's the sure-fire way to get a date with a woman. But of course they've made it abundantly clear that you AREN'T a woman - you're a "tranny."

I hope these little, real-life stories show how and why the term tranny is so hurtful to those of us who transition.

Paula,

In my post I went to great lengths to point out I understand how TS guys/gals can find the term offensive . . . I am not naïve in that aspect nor was it meant to indicate you should feel that way. The response was based on my experience with that use of the term . . . that's me and how I see it . . . and yes there was severe danger attached to the things I was called "en boy" . . . different situation which I won't go into.

If I offended I apologize.

Hugs

Isha

[Lorileah]

I would also agree that the term "transgendered" is to long for many people.

too long? Really? those microseconds are precious? Solution, "TG".

When the "muggles" say it, I can try and let it roll off my back. It is nothing more than ignorance but with education ignorance can be changed. I use "Tranny" when I am being sarcastic. I know there are those of us who think we should "own" it, but that is NOT a solution. When we use it it says to the rest of the world "Hey it ain't so bad". But I would never, ever in my life now use any word for any minority that has racist or genderist undertones. I remember when it was "OK" and now I wonder how much those groups bit their tongue.

Tranny should not be used for any TG person in a public setting. What you think of yourself and how you describe yourself in private is your business. The whole issue of tags and labels here annoys me personally. Why? It isn't like going to Starbucks and ordering a half-caf, lo fat extra cream soy, honey latte with a cherry. We are people, we should be treated like any other person would want to be treated. When we put our own down we are showing the world it is OK to do that all the time.

[Michelle colson]

Hi Betty, I think that Tranny is a term best left to the Automotive Industry !

Where I grew up a tranny is a transmission for any automobile.

[PaulaQ]

Paula,

In my post I went to great lengths to point out I understand how TS guys/gals can find the term offensive . . . I am not naïve in that aspect nor was it meant to indicate you should feel that way. The response was based on my experience with that use of the term . . . that's me and how I see it . . . and yes there was severe danger attached to the things I was called "en boy" . . .

You didn't offend me - but your experience and opinion really are irrelevant. I don't mean to condescend - but in your boy mode life, I presume you aren't in combat all the time. You get to go home, where hopefully the bad guys don't come after you.

We trans women get no such reprieve. There are no safe places for us. I tell every new trans woman who asks me "is this place safe for trans?" that "no place is safe for trans, you just have to accept the risk, and live your life."

So it doesnt really matter that you weren't offended by the term. You really should've been, because believe me, if the wrong group of men decides you are a tranny, they aren't going to cease their attack just because you are a CD. You may be better prepared to defend yourself than the average trans*, but you probably aren't bullet proof en femme.

This really can be life or death stuff.