I would say yes it is. It really does not make any difference to me. Like Nicole said, I prefer to keep my cding private. Nothing will change that, unless I go to a Halloween party sometime.
I would say yes it is. It really does not make any difference to me. Like Nicole said, I prefer to keep my cding private. Nothing will change that, unless I go to a Halloween party sometime.
I guess it really depends on what perspective are you looking at when you say "getting out of the closet". Are you talking about coming out to the world (your friends, family, work, etc.) or just going out in the world without telling those close to you.
Going out is difficult and think most can agree that it is probably one of the most difficult and scary things you will ever do in your life. So in that sense it is probably just as difficult now as it was some time ago because you still need to work yourself up to a point where you feel comfortable enough to go out. Is society more accepting now than before? I would venture a guess that society is more informed and better able to handle seeing one of us in the wild but I have to agree with Candice Mae that seeing and not saying anything does not constitute acceptance. However I would say that society is more tolerant and hence less likely to chase TG folks around with torches and pitchforks.
As to the crux of the question, I cannot completely answer it as I have no frame of reference having just started dressing and presenting this last year (late bloomer of sorts). I can tell you that I am completely open about my lifestyle in my private life (family and friends know) and my work (my entire chain of command knows). Coming out to my family was difficult but coming out to my work was extremely difficult but I owed it to my chain of command and those who are close to hear it from me rather than the rumour mill. Yes I get a few giggles at work when my back is turned, I have lost a bit of credibility with some but for the most part it is an non-event with my work and I just go about my business. Is that tolerance or acceptance . . . I am going to venture a bit of both but mainly tolerance. Now things might change if Isha decided to go to work wearing a skirt and heels but that is a social experiment I have yet to try.
Hugs
Isha
Great question. I would have probably come to understand at a much earlier age that I wasn't as unique as I thought. That other's were out there, who had the same exact thoughts and feelings that I had. I think it would have been easier to meet others like me at a younger age, which could have had an impact on my life, and made for some differences in the way I lived it. It's really hard to say. I might have done things, outted myself a bit, and then live the consequences of that (meaning, some family or friends might have known). That type of life would have possibly made me regret other things (perhaps I wouldn't have had children?). It really is of no use to think about what might have been. I can only live for today, and for right now.
We sometimes think we might have done things differently, but as others have said, we are still the same person, so we probably would have live the same type of life, just a little more informed.
I think the internet and this site, has helped us loners greatly. We know we are not the only ones! As for going out, I have lost almost all my confidence, and am highly afraid and paranoid. My own anger coming out, at a harasser , or mocker, is one thing i fear greatly. Part of me hates this thing i do, and part of me loves it. It is a love/hate relationship, like all in my family. In the closet yet, but hope to go out and about on Holloween, not that i like Holloween, but it IS a safer chance to go out.
It's seem that I older I got the easlier it was for me to come out ,the fact that I'm older might have something to do with. I would like to enjoy who I am for what ever time I have left in this world.
janielatb: I'm in love with the person inside me.
Tremendously easier, no doubt about it.
The internet has opened all kinds of doors, from getting on the webpage of local bra-fitters and lingerie shops, to CD blogs like this one.
If I wanted to tell a girlfriend that I was a CD, I think I’d find some SO who was married to a CD and show her a testimonial about how great it is to have a CD as a boyfriend and/or husband.
Cheryl, my SO would totally agree with you on that one.
I am sure that with online shopping and support forums it's easier today.
This is not to say it is easy.
I'm more interested in what things will look like in 50 years for the CD and TG individual.
Will Human rights to express ones dressing style be lumped with other items already put to bed like women voting?
Since I'm an older member I can assure you it is easier today than the late 50s and early 60s. While I went out and was accepted as a gg it was illegal. Something I didn't know at first. If I had been caught I would have been taken to jail and my picture would be on page 1 of the newspaper.
The interesting thing is that I don't think a lot of people had different views than today. They either accepted it or didn't. Everyone knew about gays, but it wasn't acceptable to advertise it at that time. I wasn't, but because of work knew several guys who really didn't hide what they were. I had a friend at the time who was and I acted as his gg date. As the 60s progressed people became a lot more liberal in their views about things.
I started to say that if I was young today I would have been more open about it, but I doubt that I would since much of who I was and am is dictated by career and life with family and friends. When I worked in fields that required 3 piece suits, I wore them. For years I wore ties even when hating them. I would not have transitioned because that is not who I was or am.
I'd still have the same family, maybe not the same friends. Parading en femme isn't accepted very much more now days in my area. But when I was 20 (1973) there was really no one to share CDing with without the risk of alienating them.
The internet has made it possible to come out to strangers, without the risk of losing friends and causing family drama. Coming out in the real world is just as problematic for the most part. Courage is needed no matter what the time frame is. It's probably always been easier in the bay area or Soho than in western N. Dakota or Alabama.
We have some control over where we live, but no control over what year it is.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
I say yes, we live in a much more tolerant and enlightened society now as opposed to when I was younger.
When I was young and 'had the feelings', I truthfully thought there was something wrong with me..
If I had known then, what I know now, I would have explored CD'ing in a whole new light..
and I'm sure I would have been much more comfortable going out.. Hate the closet!
"If it feels good.. - Wear it"!
I do think it is a bit easier today .When i was growing up before the net i used to think i was totally alone in this .Now i at least i know im not alone and that in itself makes me feel better and has helped me accept myself
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
I think it would have been very different to have had support instead of intimidation. A much nicer life and I believe that I would have been out enjoying who I am.
I agree that tolerance is greater today. Acceptance and embracing has a way to go.
As a 50 something I care less what others think, but I do use caution to not be outed
around home for my SO sake.
Sites like this are awesome, and as long as you are happy thats what matters.
Had the internet been around back then in the late 60's early 70's wow. I might not have gotten into the stuff I got into as a way of repressing these urges to be a girl. Lord knows I was the only one back then. The only thing that would not have changed would be my genetics. The access to information today is awesome. The access to others in cyberland is great and can be very helpful. Had we had this then there might be others who are still with us. Being able to communicate with others who are going through or have been through whatever situation you might be in is priceless.
Societies acceptance does move slowly, but it does move. But for me, with internet access, yes, the last decade has been way easier than my first 50. But it's not just the going out. It's the knowledge about who and what I am. It was nearly impossible to find any "balanced" information when I was younger. Like most everyone else, the terms freak, weirdo, pervert kept going through my head...But now? Hey, guess what? I'm just one of thousands and thousands of crossdressers!! No more mental anguish, and ain't that grand!!
Jaye
Satchel was right, something is gaining on me...And God bless the creator of e-cigs!
When I had a psychological collapse and institutionalization in my late teens in the late 60's I told the therapist that I wanted to be women. At that time there was no acceptance or understanding of TG, and he did his best to convince me that I should be happy being a man. Today a therapist might have advised me to pursue it more, with even the possibility of SRS. Three years later I met a beautiful women that changed my life and allowed me to stay a man with my feminine tendencies. Forty-four years and six children later we have never been happier as husband/wife and as sisters! So what I am saying is that the more closed attitude back then saved me from missing out on what has been an amazing relationship and life. However, I do realize that my situation is somewhat unique and not the standard outcome for men like me that had severe psychological disorder tired to the gender issue back in the 60's.
I think it would have made it easier for me to understand who I am and how to accept myself. It would have allowed me to be out there until I found an understanding and supportive women to share me life with.
I believe that getting out in the public eye is easier now than it was years ago. There are just too many more examples of people in the Trans spectrum being covered in more positive ways in the media than there were before. Laws have changed and attitudes with them in this long slow grind toward a more open society. All this means is the center of the bell curve has migrated closer to the side of tolerance, but there are still a lot of folks under the intolerant tail of that curve, so it's still a work in progress.
The other side of this is coming out to those you know and care about. It may be just a bit easier, only because of that general shift in society and the wealth of examples you can use to fortify your disclosure. However, I'm not sure it's much easier. Family and friends have a major influence and presence in our lives and it is a terrible thing to alienate any of them. It's possible they are understanding of how society is changing with regards to TGs, but we, as individuals are not "those folks out there they've read about" but someone they will have to deal with directly. It's still work, and potentially hard work, at that level for both sides.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
The amount of information about sexuality and cross dressing is so large and so easily available today. I remember searching for books in stores that might contain one chapter about transvestism and it was under the heading of sexual aberrations.
Now you can go to Amazon and find lots of books that discuss fetishistic transvestism/cross dressing/ homosexuality and many other aspects of sexuality. With the internet and sites like this one, access to knowledge is easy and the amount of information is huge. I wish I had access to such resources when I was young and trying to understand what this was all about. As others have mentioned there is also more openness and acceptance today than there ever was. If I had this available before I was married I think the outcome would have been much different. Although I opened up about cross dressing before marriage, I don't think even I properly understood where this cross dressing urge would take me and my spouse certainly did not.
I see this as two questions: how has society changed and what changes have I been through. The cultural change since the 60's has been enormous. We're not perceived as being as odd as we were, but are still on the social fringe. It's evident in how we decide to go out en femme or not. Personally, I would be pushing more with my clothing and makeup, but in deference to my wife I'm in drab or vanilla while in public. Since I turned 60 I care less and less of someone's opinion about me. It's my life and their problem.
When I started dressing I had no Idea what it was except enjoying the other genders clothing--As I peruse The Net It seems that it would be easier to say HEY-Here I am--
But I also see many of these youngings letting their hormones lead them and I'm old enough to see wolves all but ready to swoop down on these girls.
Some online try to convince our sisters that being a (true Tgirl) is about being-Excuse the terms please as I DON'T LIKE THEM MYSELF. They try to convince them that taking this step requires you to be a sissy-or a ****. That being a girl means you live to enjoy a mans anatomy and dream about it constantly--I don't find ok-I see these as manipulative predators. Hell I maybe wrong-Or maybe I didn't answer the question. So addressing the question a cautious yes.
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