Hi everyone, I could not believe it's been over a year since I last posted.
This is going to be a difficult post for me to write.
I had to come out to my wife, as she found my wig - no biggie, at least I wasn't using anything of hers at that time. We had lots of arguing, then calm discussion, and then compromise - for her benefit.
I had to endure all the 'are you gay?', 'are you a pervert?', 'you need help, you're sick', questions, again and again and again. I had to leave it all behind - there were many circumstances with work-related stress that was already putting a strain on our marriage, etc without all this revelation of me being a cross-dresser. I'd tried to explain, going round in circles - I'd started as a kid, done it on and off, and pretty much bared it all.
But to no avail - she is a feisty, single minded woman (and remarkable at that) but I could not budge her opinion on my perspective of life.
It caused a lot of friction for months, as I withdrew from it all, purged for her benefit. That part is over, water under the bridge so to speak - either that or she will not want to talk about it, except on the rare moments she pulled it out in a derogatory tone.
The horrible thing is - I just cannot stop. It's part of who I am, yet am torn now because I want to dress again, feel fabulous and femme. They say what you do in childhood is stuck with you once you've left your teens... But I know I can't come out to her again because of the response - I know for certain it will be the same.
My ideal is that she would accept it (even if it's a don't ask, don't tell scenario), but failing that, that I would find someone who I could share a dressing up with, where I could simply be seeing friends. I don't know. I'm just rambling now, it's so hard and confusing.
Given the fact that coming out to my wife was an utter failure, trying to reconcile or compromise in some way also failed, what could I do? The urge is strong (in fact I have a new dress already) and don't want to make myself miserable waiting for the urges to pass (which they might do eventually).
I just don't know.