Is the TG community accepted better now?

[Katiegirl]

If I had been asked that question last week I would have said yes but now I'm not so sure, let me explain:-

Last night there was a "Rocky Horror" theme party and nearly all the girls turned up as maids in stocking short skirts eta (Some really shouldn't have tried). Some men turned up dressed particularly or wholely as women. As I was taking 4 women to the party, I didn't dress (except I was wearing stockings suspender belt and girdle under my drab cloths.). It was interesting to listen to the comments being made about the men crossdressing, a lot was not very nice, such as " I always thought he was a bit that way" meaning gay, or how could his girlfriend dress him up like that he is too good he must have done before, I must have a word with her" or as one guy asked me "how can he wear those stocking what do you think" I just said I hadn't given it a thought. This and some of the comments made by the girls in the back of the car going home made me realise how deeply mistrusted the TG community is held in, even by mature educated people. The theme must be gay, something wrong in the head, have to be careful with him, cropped time and again. I was greatly sadden by the whole thing not only by the misconceptions held by them but also if I came "out" or outed I would almost certainly lose the friendship of most of them

I know that in many countries the law in theory protects TGs, but in practise do you think things are are better for our community as a whole?

[KathrynW]

This and some of the comments made by the girls in the back of the car going home made me realise how deeply mistrusted the TG community is held in, even by mature educated people.

And the reality of the situation is...it's not likely to change anytime soon...not in our lifetime anyway.

[Sweet Susan]

I have to believe that as a whole things are better. But be real, things are never going to be as you might like them in our life time. People are just too narrow. I have seen continued acceptance on one hand, but by and large, most people view us as freaks.

[Sharon]

And the reality of the situation is...it's not likely to change anytime soon...not in our lifetime anyway.

Why not?

In my lifetme, many advances have been made by other minorities. While prejudices still exist among the ignorant, and more still needs to be done, we have seen Jim Crow laws all but disappear; we have seen a five-fold increase of women in the workplace; we currently have a movie in wide distribution about homosexual cowboys which probably couldn't have been even made ten years ago, and more specifics than is almost imaginable to someone who remembers how things were not so many years ago.

As bad as things sometimes seem as far as discrimination is concerned, it is better now than ever before. The TG community is, unfortunately, at the end of the line and we all seem to be waiting for our own Rosa Parks to get things rolling. But with negative attitudes from among our own, nothing will change.

[Amelie]

Why not?

In my lifetme, many advances have been made by other minorities. While prejudices still exist among the ignorant, and more still needs to be done, we have seen Jim Crow laws all but disappear; we have seen a five-fold increase of women in the workplace; we currently have a movie in wide distribution about homosexual cowboys which probably couldn't have been even made ten years ago, and more specifics than is almost imaginable to someone who remembers how things were not so many years ago.

As bad as things sometimes seem as far as discrimination is concerned, it is better now than ever before. The TG community is, unfortunately, at the end of the line and we all seem to be waiting for our own Rosa Parks to get things rolling. But with negative attitudes from among our own, nothing will change.

This is my thoughts as well. Thanks Sharon.


Hey, I am a gay, something wrong in the head CD.

[SherriePall]

I would have to ask if those who made the comments were of our generation (Baby Boomers in the U.S.)? If so, then I believe the comments were probably appropriate for those of our age. I believe in the U.S. those who are younger are of a different mindset when it comes to TGs. Any thoughts along those lines, girls?

[Darlena]

Most certainly, things are definitely better for us girls. Only a few decades ago I could have been arrested and thrown in jail due to my preference for femme attire. Nowadays the cops just smile in that wiley way that they have. If word got out about you then you were osterized by the entire community. Take heart my younger Sisters.., our day is nearly upon us. Beginning in the late 50's, with the civil rights struggle until the present, the momentum continues. We could very well be next to gain legitimate recognition as endowed with the civil liberty to be who we are without reprisals. Get out there in the public eye. Be an ambassador of good will. Educate the uninformed. Give a damn and try to make the difference. Nothing changes until the individual makes some kind of sacrifice. You only stand to gain dignity, acceptance and liberty. Love & kisses,

[KathrynW]

Hey Sharon...
You can call me negative if you want, it really doesn't offend me. I'm the kind of person who deals with circumstances and real life as it is for me. I don't live in PA, NY, CA, or any number of other places which are much more liberal and accepting than where I live. There is a big difference.

But with negative attitudes from among our own, nothing will change..

and (you know who you are) before you get the idea, ...please spare me the details of how you wore a skirt in Arkansas and didn't get your butt kicked.

[karen marie]

i think they're better now than they were 20 years ago.
there have been several documentaries on cds that i'm sure
have helped and enlightened some people.it also seems that younger
people are more tolerant of many of lifes diversities.probably won't
be where we'd like it for quite a while yet.things come in small steps.
to bad it's not like thailand.how fascinating that a culture that
is thousands of years old can be so enlightened.
hugs,karen.

[Katiegirl]

Thanks for your replies, as I thought, a varied response.

On the whole things are moving but not nearly a fast as I thought.

I would have to ask if those who made the comments were of our generation (Baby Boomers in the U.S.)? If so, then I believe the comments were probably appropriate for those of our age. I believe in the U.S. those who are younger are of a different mindset when it comes to TGs. Any thoughts along those lines, girls?

Yes SherriePall, they were all that age group

Hey, I am a gay, something wrong in the head CD.

They think all the TG community is the same Amelie, they are wrong about all being gay, but they may be right about "the something wrong in the head CD"

[CarolDonna]

I do think things have improved, but there's an underlying level of intolerance toward a lot of things, especially crossdressers. I believe the intolerance is driven by fear -- fear of people and things that are different. The US society seems to be trying to step back into the 1950s.

Rather than mope about things, I'm taking steps to improve them. The treatment of crossdressers is just one problem -- there are many other indications that the rights of people are being stomped upon. I recently joined the ACLU. I'm looking into other organizations as well. The religious right seems to be a particular problem for us right now (and we aren't the only ones to whom they are causing problems).

On a personal level, I think there is some degree of acceptance, but I detect an underlying element of disgust in people about CDs among some people who are outwardly supportive, or who at least aren't antagonistic toward CDs.

I'm really astounded at how the Archie Bunker mentality has taken hold of so many people.

Carol

[Rachel Morley]

This and some of the comments made by the girls in the back of the car going home made me realise how deeply mistrusted the TG community is held in, even by mature educated people.

Educated yes, but educated in the ways of the transgendered mind?... no.

Things are (generally speaking) better for us now than they were in the past but there's still a ways to go...and our cause is a "slow moving animal". Also IMHO other minority groups (gay, lesbian, etc) do more in the way of being pro-active for their cause than we do. I'm talking in a general sense here...as far as I'm aware there's no such thing as a "crossdresser pride day" like there is for gay pride. Alright, I know we're now all supposed to be under the same banner of GLBT, but I hope you know what I mean.

Anyway, the sad truth is people don't understand us, and why should they? what's in it for them? Generally people don't seek out education on any subject unless they're interested in it. People tend to get educated on subjects they're not particularly interested in by either just what they've heard in conversation or by the media, tv, movies etc. And as we all know, some of the ways we are presented are less than accurate

[Darlena]

But, we are a somewhat invisible minority. Sometimes I wonder about the "Minority" stigma.(there are alot of repressed cases as yet unearthed out there) The African-Americans couldn't hide the fact that they're black. Jews, while going to their synagogues were out in the open. We however, are just soooo closeted! No wonder that we are so stereotyped into an unsavory image. The truth will out. And it will set us free. I think the ball is finally rolling here. I cannot guarantee the outcome. That depends on us collectively as well as individually. But we are coming into our own as a consensus to be reckoned with. Take heart. Love & kisses,

[Alystin]

Personally I've seen both sides of the coin. Right now, the people that i come out to, accept it openly and try to find out as much information about who and what I am. But on the other side of the coin, the people that aren't aware that I dress and view me as a heter-male in society, say things to me that I can't even begin to believe!!! And most of them are, unfortunately at work or from my coworkers! And that's from north of the border where we have same sex marriages across the country.

but still things have improved in the big picture I think. And things will get better like alot of people have said already! But we're the ones that are going to make it happen

[uknowhoo]

Whereas "I wore a skirt in Arkansas" got virtually no airplay when it first came out in 1973 (even in PA, NY or CA!), the re-make has been steadily climbing up the charts, up to #69 this week if I'm not mistaken.

Seriously, I think most all of us would agree that, in general, a fair amount of progress has been made over the past few decades, though not as quickly as we all might like. I think we could also agree that there is some correlation between the level of acceptance and the age and location of the individual, i.e. redneck baby boomers in red states (like AR) vs. twenty-somethings in San Francisco. Individual results may vary. :cheeky:

0.02

Hugs,

Tammi

[Lindahexi]

Educated yes, but educated in the ways of the transgendered mind?... no.

Things are (generally speaking) better for us now than they were in the past but there's still a ways to go...and our cause is a "slow moving animal". Also IMHO other minority groups (gay, lesbian, etc) do more in the way of being pro-active for their cause than we do. I'm talking in a general sense here...as far as I'm aware there's no such thing as a "crossdresser pride day" like there is for gay pride. Alright, I know we're now all supposed to be under the same banner of GLBT, but I hope you know what I mean.

Anyway, the sad truth is people don't understand us, and why should they? what's in it for them? Generally people don't seek out education on any subject unless they're interested in it. People tend to get educated on subjects they're not particularly interested in by either just what they've heard in conversation or by the media, tv, movies etc. And as we all know, some of the ways we are presented are less than accurate

Angel you said it so right and put it so well, I agree with you and just wanted to say so.

[Karren H]

NO!!! Not better! Don't see any openly crossdressed people do you? But you do see plenty of openly gay people. Still not looked upon favorabley by society. Too bad.

Love Karren

[SherriePall]

A short geography and cultural note to Kathryn W.:
Just living in Pa. doesn't mean everything is liberal. There may be pockets of it in the state, but for the most part it is in only the two largest cities and even then not all of their suburbs. Remember, Pa. has the third largest number of acres devoted to farming in the U.S. So, we're not all sophisticated city folk.

[KathrynW]

Whereas "I wore a skirt in Arkansas" got virtually no airplay when it first came out in 1973 (even in PA, NY or CA!), the re-make has been steadily climbing up the charts, up to #69 this week if I'm not mistaken.

uh huh...#69 with a bullet...
sounds like something that should have been on the Lou Reed "Transformer" album...

[paulaN]

Katie you had a very good chance to straighten them out on the tg matter. you should have blistered their a@@ es. told them how ignorant and back woods their thinking is. Set them straight with out outing yourself of course. I probley would have blown it too. I'm not that fast a thinker on my feet when it comes to stuff like that. Oh well.

[Butterfly Bill]

NO!!! Not better! Don't see any openly crossdressed people do you? But you do see plenty of openly gay people. Still not looked upon favorabley by society. Too bad.

One possible reason you haven't seen many openly crossdressed people is that too many are trying to "pass"

[KatieZ]

Alright, I know we're now all supposed to be under the same banner of GLBT (

WHY??

No offense angel. I know you weren't stating that as your belief. I just wanted to point out that that's part of the problem.

Because the gay and lesbian organizations take us in under their cause, mainstream America naturally assumes that we are all gay.

We need to be represented as a stand alone group. I know some of us are bi and a few gay but the large majority of us are hetero and we should be looked at that way.

Hugs

[CharleneCD]

Ultimately our fortunes are tied to gays. Not only are we tied to them in the LGBT spectrum, but most peoples perceptions of us come from drag queens, as that is alll that is seen in the mainstream media. I mean what is the first question asked by spouses when they first find out? ARE YOU GAY?

This is both good and bad. Good in that we have a very organized group that is supposed to help us look out after our intrests politicaly. Bad in that the religious right side of our society will always remain unacepting because of that tie.

As for whether things are better for us now, I will say yes. The mainstream media is starting to portray us in a honest and more positive light. Will thigs get better? Yes, but as with all other groups that have gone through this before, ie; blacks and gays, it will take time, effort, and education to gain more widespread acceptance. We just have to remember thatt there will always be that group of closed minded bigots that will never accept us.

Our best hope is for us as a group to be more open to the public. When people find out that they may have known and been friends with a CD all their life, it is a little harder to be unaccepting.

[Helana]

What we are talking about here are monsters from the Id. We all possess a deep well of primeval fears from where our hatred, malice and violence stems from. We learn to keep these base feelings tightly under contol and hidden under layers of rational thought but they never go away.

It is easy for me to switch off my CD mind and imagine I was just a regular guy and listen to what my demons tell me about CDing. Words like "morally repugnant, sexual perversion, deviant behavior, disgusting" etc come to mind. In essence people like to hate us because we are such easy targets, it seems almost natural to want to marginalise us because we must be sick to do such a thing. It is fun and gratifying to be able to point somebody out and ridicule them, knowing that you belong to the "normal and morally superior" group.

Moreover, because we are otherwise act and look normal, we are an invisible enemy within which makes us even scarier to others as they cannot tell us apart. It is like watching a horror movie when you dont know which character is really an alien in disguise. It is no coincidence that Hollywood has made plenty of serious films about homosexuality and transexuality but none about hetrosexual crossdressing. Quite simply, we hit too close to home and thus it becomes even more imperative to denigrate us behind our backs and snicker at every opportunity.

[TGMarla]

Sometimes I think that when people are confronted with crossdressers, it's like a wounded hen at a pecking party. One narrow minded person makes a derogatory comment, and others chime in just because they may feel that it's expected of them. Everyone piles on, because they feel that if they don't, the first idiot will think he's sympathetic to them or gay himself. (We're all gay, you know...just ask anyone....) But overall, I think the Western World is becomming more tolerant. Like the whole gay/lesbian issue, people just get a little tired of fighting it, and find that it's easier to accept. Of course, ignorance is the one commodity that this world will never run short on, so there will always be one moron around to spoil the party for everyone else.