Another going out for the first(second time) post.This is for those that have been contemplating an excursion dressed up. I know for me, it was beneficial to read about others going out so I thought I would share. This will be a long post for sure. I've only ever been out once before dressed up and that was before I accepted myself as a crossdresser (costume party) so I don't really count that as my first. I made contact with Tri Ess, a crossdressing social community that has chapters all over the country. This chapter was in Salt Lake City, about an hour and half away from me. I needed a reason to go out so that I could get comfortable with myself dressing and going out in public. I was tired of putting all the effort in to getting ready just to confine myself to house. So, I decided I wanted to feel out this group and maybe join if it was something that was a good fit for me. Prior to being allowed to attend the meeting, I had to meet with someone from the organization. I had to talk to someone aside from my fiancé about this side of me which was a little scary in itself. Once I had gotten over the initial anxiety, the meeting went well and I was told the specifics of the meeting. I also found out that they were doing a photo shoot as well. This sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun.
I was conflicted with emotion. I was excited to finally meet others in person, something I wanted for months but I was also terribly nervous. Besides the obvious reason of going out dressed, I can be a bit shy which I think is worse when dressed. I started preparing on Friday for a Saturday early evening meeting. Body hair removal can take me a while if I want to do it well and I had some plans on Saturday morning. Over the course of Friday night into Saturday afternoon, I slowly worked to get myself ready. I tried a couple of new things for it including taping for cleavage (which I still need to practice). While I was trying to tape myself, I had accidentally got the tape on my freshly painted fingernails, ruining them. Argh! This sent me in a frenzy because I had to leave at a certain time that was quickly approaching and I had to still put on my makeup. I added some touch up to the nails that while covered the whole nail but looked terrible upon closer inspection. I finished getting ready and had everything was packed up. I packed an extra outfit for the photo shoot, make up for touch ups and all of my necessities in my purse. I was ready to leave but nervous to step outside the door. I live in a condominium complex so I checked the windows to see if there were any kids nearby but there were none, not a single one (which is unusual for a warm sunny afternoon). I cracked the door open just a bit to listen for their characteristic screaming/playing but it was pretty quiet.
I thought to myself that this was it. It had to be now or I'd be late. I threw on some sunglasses, took a deep breath and opened the door. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I thought to myself "You are walking around outside in a dress and tights in the middle of the afternoon." I walked towards my car and my heart leapt. Someone who was parked next to my car was getting ready to leave as I was walking out. It wasn't someone I knew but I've seen them several times living here for a year. I never talked to them or even made eye contact. Without missing a step, I continued like everything I was doing was normal. In my head, I was hoping to come off as sibling that was borrowing my car rather than me dressed as a woman. Thinking that helped give me some confidence to keep at it. I tossed my bags in the car and even took care to try to enter my car like a lady (Butt in first and swing the legs in together). I waited a minute after starting the car to make sure my neighbor had left. I cranked up the A/C and then I was off. While trying to get out of town, I had a few situations where I had to check for cars that caused me to face several people. Not one eye brow was raised. That made me feel better. I kept thinking to myself, "Women come in all shapes and sizes. I could come across as a woman even if I do have some manly features." The drive was rather uneventful. I listened to the pop station and practiced my feminine voice (still needs work :P) as I drove. I kept checking the cars that passed me for double takes or weird looks but my anxiety was unjustified. Nobody gave me a second look. I made it to the meeting location and parked on the street. It was a short walk but I started noticing all the people on the sidewalk. I kept my head down with my purse and backpack in tow. I wasn't sure if people noticed but I didn't hear any chuckling or comments as I passed by. The people just kept to themselves. At the meeting, I practiced talking feminine as much as I could and got some pictures taken. My social anxiety kept me from talking a lot to others but everyone was much more outgoing than I was. I should have stopped for a drink before going to help loosen me up. Haha. It was a great night and leaving was even more uneventful because it was dark out. The anxiety of driving while dressed was gone since no one could really see me. I got home around 10:30 and my fiancé was already in bed (she had an early day the next day). I was exhausted and ready to join her. Satisfied with how the day went, I got ready for bed.
On a side note, be careful when applying tape to your body. I was removing some and actually took off some skin. This might be the motivation to actually go and buy some forms. I hope this is helpful to anyone that is struggling with going out. If I can get myself to do it, anyone can. Being in a rush certainly kept me from overthinking about it. One thing to remember (that many will agree with) is most people are so caught up in their own thoughts to notice others. Sorry for the long read but thanks for reading it anyway. Maybe I'll post some pics later.
) It does get less nerve-wracking, and even pretty natural, or did for me. And Michelle is right about other people, many people have their own thoughts, concerns, etc., and/or don't care much about other people just going about their business. By that I mean, they are going about they're business and are happy to let others be; live and let live.
