I wish I had been born a girl. But I wasn't. And if transitioning had been a practical proposition when I was in my twenties, maybe I would have gone for it.But it wasn't -- or if it was, I didn't know about it.
Now, I have nearly sixty years invested in learning to be a man, and a family that depend on me. It's a lot to give up, and for what? Even if I transitioned, I could never, now, be a wife and mother, be pretty, or sing soprano.
The blunt fact is that I've missed the boat.
It's all been said before me, Maya - I have absolutely no thoughts of becoming a woman, nor indeed that I am one inside... I'm obviously somewhere in-betweeny on that TG spectrum and I suspect that most of us fall into that category.
Perhaps if you say many, many you have spoken to in real life - rather than the virtual world of the forums - this perhaps indicates that more of those who do feel drawn to get out into the world of muggles need that affirmation because they are further along the spectrum...? If you didn't mean that then I'm more surprised you might think more would transition... most folk here don't give that impression...
Good question though... and a good, unambiguous response for you...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
Absolutely there are - me for one.
I love being able to dress when the mood takes me, but it is just another side to who I am .
I do not feel GD or have any desire to become a full time woman. I'm a guy who likes to wear dresses and put on make up etc every now and then. No idea why, it just feels right at the time.
And from everything I've read, that is the majority of CDs
Hi Maya,
I guess where a lot of folks get confused is the use of the term CDer as most CDers tend to be part-time dressers for various reasons (stress relief, sexual, just something they need to do and so forth) so the though of transitioning tends to never enter the mix for classic cross dressers. However, the TG spectrum is no more binary than gender there is not a CD camp and a TS camp with a no (wo)man's land in between. It is possible that some of the CDers you talked to may have been further along the spectrum and may be suffering from GD but have yet to embrace/accept and as such class themselves along this binary we (the community) has created.
When it comes to being TG it can be confusing even to the actual CDer Most here who are CD I would venture are classic CD (happy to be a part-time girl) however, there are probably some who have not quite figured it out and may one day decide to cross completely across no (wo)man's land to the TS camp. Those you talked to may just have been on that journey.
Hugs
Isha
I'm just a part timer CD, no more than that!
Hugs, Bria
I really don't think transition is for me. Being a "guy", for me, isn't terrible. Quite comfortable most of the time. However I love expressing myself through crossdressing too. I do also like the idea of trying things in public for advocacy and maybe even in a creative capacity.
- Natalie
P.S. that's what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R where eliminated.
-Mitch Headburg
"If you think you think outside the box, you're trapped in one"
- M.C. Paul Barman
I'm not interested in transitioning. I love dressing up like a girl/woman and feeling pretty.
Love,
Lexi V.
Wow! Thank you all! You really set me straight. In particular, I loved Isha's comments about not looking at things as "binary" -- cd or ts.
And -- I have to say that the tgurls who I have met often express themselves the way that Melanie B. did (Post #26): "I wish I could have transitioned, but for various reasons, I have not".
But, I'm glad to hear that alot of you folks seem very contented in just being cds (not that there is anything wrong with being more transgendered than cd)
Some boys just can't help acting like girls...
My pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mayatoronto/
I think what confuses people is that most CDers never become TSes and have no desire to transition. But a lot (I believe) of TSes start out thinking they're just CDers before realizing they're TS. Since many TSes have followed the CD->TS path, it can seem like many CDers will too... but that's not the case.
at one time . i was entranced by transitioning, but it was not for me. i enjoy my maleness, and plan on keeping it. i just like to 'dress up' at times. I'm good just the way i am.
I fantasize about being a woman, but have no overwhelming desire to transition. I feel no anxiety about being a guy, nor depressed im not a woman. I definitely on the gender spectrum somewhere, just not so far i have to transition to feel whole. Good question
I like being able to pee standing up and not have to wait in long lines at restrooms too much.
Story of my coming out:
http://www.bliss-fire.com/ComingOut.htm
@OP - yes. The majority of you will never transition.
maya, add me to the list of CDers who have no desire to transition and play for the other team full-time.
I quite enjoy being able to live in both worlds as the mood strikes me and to experience life from both a male and female perspective. I often compare it to being bilingual (and bi-cultural), which I also am - trilingual, actually. Either facility leads to greatly enhanced life experiences and opens up so many doors compared to what the average, one-track type person gets to experience.
Time was, I regretted being a crossdresser for the way it complicated my life and because I felt guilty and ashamed for having those "weird" thoughts and desires. Now that I have come to accept myself for what I am and recognize what an incredible gift this has been as opposed to being an unbearable burden, my outlook on life has become exceedingly positive and I have come to embrace my transgenderism unconditionally without losing sight of my inherent masculinity.
Since I am completely heterosexual, married, and a devoted family man with children and grandchildren in my day-to-day life, I have zero desire to divest myself of my "dangly bits". Besides, aside from the obvious benefits, they also come in handy when it comes to peeing standing up or cursively writing my name in the snow should that desire ever come over me. Mind you, at my age, I'd probably need a stencil as well to do a proper job of it...
This is the typical problem of surveys and data analysis and tests - biased populations. You ask a group who go to meetings for TS and you hear one answer. You go to a site for crossdressers and you hear a different answer. Sources state 6-10% of men have worn women's clothing and 1% want to be women. Maya, did you post this same question in the TS section? Not everyone in this section is just a CDer, but the vast majority, as you can see, are. Most are heterosexual, but not all. Do you go to a courtroom and ask who is a lawyer and base opinions on how many lawyers are there in this country? No. But you are not alone in those who don't consider this when making decisions on the data they have.
But welcome to the group of wonderful, opinionated people
Ellen
Just a 'dresser I'm afraid. Had some TS thoughts before but then realised it would just be an excuse to dress up more often.
Hi Maya
In answer to your question.......YES, absolutely.
From reading your post and your reflection on where you are at with your CDing I say ....Ditto
So YES and DITTO.
Works for me
Like many others I just an ordinary CDer. I like dressing up and do so whenever I get the opportunity and would like to do it more often, even venture out one day. I am a bloke , like being a bloke and happen to like dressing.
I have no plans to become a woman, however, if someone said “Try it for six months” I could be tempted.
Vikky
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Adventure before dementia
I agree with majority on this thread. But as I walked around today and
did some GG watching, I had to think that if ( in my mind ) I could be and look like
that welllllllll?
But happy now in a pink tsunami.
When the magic pill to switch back and forth is discovered, I will be in line.
Char
I'm just a cross dresser. I have never had any desire to become a woman, although, if I were not a man I would like to be a woman. It takes way to long for many cross dressers to come to terms abut their inner self or sexuality. I grew up in the 1950's and 1960's when being a cross dresser was also being label a homosexual. That was a very confusing time for me. It took decades to accept myself. An, what is that? A man who likes to wear women's garments on occasion and emulate a woman. I am content to be at the level of cross dressing that I engage in. I am an in-home cross dresser, who has on occasion ventured outside the home. I am comfortable acting like today. I am dolled up and doing domestic chores while my wife is a work. I suspect you run into few cross dressers like me in relation to the numbers perceived to be among society because we are comfortable being at home or just plain scared of being outed.
PS: I love your presentations on your Flickr page-really nice body. If I looked as nice as you do, I'd probably be out and about more.
Even though I present as a woman abut 90% of the time I would not consider transitioning.
Hugs, Carole
Yes, I think I must be the odd one here (yep, that was easy to say - at least for me - more on this in a minute).
I believe there are no binary states to the natural human condition - no matter what subject we are discussing.
If there were, I think people would find it easy to identify with and easily fall into a "slot". Boy, girl, boy only loves girl, boy only loves boy, etc.
TRUE/FALSE, YES/NO, see how easy that type of question is: in comparison?
Keep in mind that people do like to [and have a innate need to] classify, quantify, and even segregate - well, everything, on this planet (even if this is just cans of vegetables in the pantry).
This is just the way human brains are wired. There is no shame in it unless we apply it to the wrong thing and classify other humans - then it can become politically incorrect.
Who just randomly mixes items in their pantry? And if they do, they eventually have to throw all of it out and start fresh - because they can't find anything and it's all out-of-date.
It may have all started by sorting nuts in the hunter/gatherer stages. Well, we are still sorting out the nuts aren't we?
Back to the discussion:
I have strong TS feelings - but the clear limit for me of any type of transition would be to not call the plumber.
I am happy 'enough' (for me) with a very clearly female brain and very clearly a 'male' body.
As they say "I can live with that". So long as I can modify the male body to be in a more female form which I find desirable.
Shaving, waxing, and a few other odd things have made it tolerable - and myself a much happier person in the process.
My SO will totally agree this is the case.
So, I must disagree with some others: I believe you can have true TS feelings with GD - and yet not want to call the plumber - ever.
Final thought for the day: my grandpa always said "son....don't fix it if it isn't broken"
I will close my two cents - with the fact that I respect others feelings- these are my opinions and thoughts alone.
I agree with Wendy O on the mix and match thing. Humans do have some need to organize things and i wish things were less organized. I would never alter myself physically through drugs or surgery because i am completely comfortable being a guy and dressing up or expressing my feminine side. I do wish things could be a bit more mixed up without having to have such dire consequences when it came to real life situations. To use a small but effective example as i sit here typing this out my nails happen to be painted purple because a little while ago i was dressed up. Soon the color has to come off because i need to go to a college class and be professional and what not. Going with purple nails would not only get me judged by multiple people but if this was work or something more important then a class it could impact much more then just judgement.
Being dressed up is much better if you have someone else to admire and enjoy it with you.
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If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?
- Alice Kingsley
Very perceptive comments - it depends who you ask!Originally Posted by ClosetED
I have wondered before whether CD/TS is a single spectrum or 2 distinct states of mind that might appear similar to the "outside world". From my very limited experience, it seems to me that they are distinct conditions: the trans-sexual person thinks "I'm a woman in a man's body" (or vice versa) whereas a cross-dresser thinks "I want to look like a woman" (or like a man). Obviously those are simplistic caricatures, but I hope you can see the distinction I'm trying to make. Now, I can see that there will be spectra within those 2 situations, but they seem to me to be importantly different. (I'll bet there's a thread about this already, somewhere...)
For myself, well, I seem to fit the local norm (on this forum!) I enjoy cross-dressing, I've occasionally wondered what it might be like to inhabit a female mind and body, but I've never thought of myself as anything other than a bloke who enjoys dressing up.
I go back and forth on this one. I'm basically happy as a man and enjoy "manly" activities but I also long to dress more often. I think if I could magically start over life as a GG I would, but i wouldn't want to try and transition either.
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