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Thread: How many years?

  1. #26
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    About half a century. I questioned the possibility of transitioning, but realized very quickly that that was just not in the cards.

  2. #27
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Since early childhood.

    There are too many positives on this forum "not" to have an influence on your thinking.

    Transition was often on my mind especially when I was on hormone therapy for other "ailments".
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  3. #28
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels View Post
    So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?
    That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?
    I fit that definition and intimated so in my earlier post, Wild. But, please notice that your OP didn't include THAT question!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  4. #29
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    I say I've been CDing for 58 years because that's how old I am, and some of my earliest memories are of trying on (climbing into.. not sure I could walk yet) female attire, and loving it. It's an undeniable part of me.
    So the answer to question #1 is 58

    #2 and #3 are statements and I'm not sure why they are redundant, or even what you mean so:
    OK, this site has "brainwashed" me, into believing I'm not alone. I bought it hook, line, and sinker, because the stories and people on these web pages seemed so real, and relatable!!

    Seriously though, are you talking about getting brainwashed into full transitioning? Just to fit in here? If that person exists, they need professional help and fast, because they'll probably do just about anything.

    #4 I don't succumb much to "groupthink" but I can be fairly easily manipulated into doing things I already want to do.

    #5 As far as me wanting to transition.. not now, not ever, or to quote your "boil down" word, never. Fantasize about suddenly waking up, and being a woman for a day or two? Sure, but just as an interesting thought experiment. So if that's even what you are asking about? You have a winner!!

    As far as the Pink Fog goes, I'm in a pink fog of a different sort, where nothing has really changed except I now have a place where I can discuss a thing I kept deftly hidden away because it's seen by the culture as bizarre and freakish, have fun with others who understand it, and actually share experiences, that up until a few months ago were strictly personal. And that is fantastic.
    Hanging out here is cutting into my HF time though, and oddly quelled some of my desire to engage in it, but I think that's only temporary.
    Last edited by JessicaJHall; 09-19-2014 at 01:36 AM.
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  5. #30
    new girl in town cassandra54's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels View Post
    So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?

    That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?
    I was going to respond to this earlier, so here's my thoughts. This is an interesting point to say the least. My girlfriend thinks that I dress like a woman because it's a hobby. I tell her that for the amount of time and money I've spent on it, that it's much more than a hobby. Then she says that some people collect things that are very valuable, perhaps in the millions. I understand her point. But I think there's more to it than that. So I did a little research.

    According to Wikepedia, a hobby is describes as, "A hobby is a regular activity that is done for pleasure, typically during one's leisure time." That being said, several things come to mind. 1. Nobody would be put off or unaccepting of you because you collected stamp or built model cars. Your neighbors wouldn't be shocked and you could tell everyone in your family. 2. Depending on how far you take things, there are somethings that carry over into the rest of your life that you may have to explain or be careful about who can see some of these things. For example, I've had people comment on my ears being pierced. At the moment, my fingernails are painted a bright red. Lastly, my bedroom and closet are off limits to everyone except my girlfriend. She suggested I make my bathroom more girl friendly, which I did. Makeup is out there on the vanity and I lock my closet when I'm out of town. 3. I dress during the day sometimes, when I conduct business at home or do things like housecleaning. That's not exactly a leisure activity. So no, I don't think it's a hobby.

    So then I ask myself is it a fetish?. Once again, I go to Wikepedia. "Fetishism, the attribution of religious or mystical qualities to inanimate objects, known as fetishes
    Sexual fetishism, sexual fixation with objects, body parts, or situations not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature" There's another definition that I've found which is: "a course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment.". Again, I find none of this applies to me. In my adult life, I started to dress as a fetish, but quickly realized that I wanted to dress out of the bedroom and that it didn't' have to be a part of a sexual encounter. I'm not opposed to being intimate while being dressed, but by no means does it have to be part of it. While I think wearing women's clothes is definitely feminine by nature, and some clothes might make me feel pretty or sexy, they really have no power over me. Yes I like to shop and build my wardrobe, but I just attribute that as part of the whole experience.

    While you could call me a cross dresser and you would be correct in doing so, I think on a scale of 1-10, I've taken it about as far as one can go without transitioning, so I would give it about an 11. I think it's more like a lifestyle of gender expression and I prefer the term femulating, which I just recently learned. I also like gender fluid as well. While I just absolutely love being Cassandra, I never feel that compulsion or a strong desire to do it. There are times when I don't feel like getting dressed, but I do anyway. I feel better when I do, but it's not like I'm always happy and singing. Real women have days when they're not joyful either. Everybody has to get dressed everyday, so sometimes it's just something we do. I think it's more like a lifestyle, because, there's things that benefit both sides of me, like grooming, taking care of my body, learning how to shop and take care of a home and manage money. Sure there's guys that do that and never dress. I'm just saying that I'm always me, no matter what I'm wearing and what I am has both masculine and feminine characteristics.

    I enjoy being a guy. I wouldn't have body parts removed or added. Some people that are members of this group believe that they were born the as the wrong gender, that's not how I feel. I can go on a vacation or do anything as my guy self and have a great time.

    So, hobby, fetish, gender expression, lifestyle? You tell me. I do it because it's fun and enjoyable most of the time. Sure the act of putting an outfit together, getting dressed, doing hair and makeup is a creative process and could be considered a hobby, but there' so much more to that. I also think it's very cool having a "secret identity". While I'm not biologically or physiologically a genetic female, I can learn and experience many of the things that they do. While I'm in guy mode, it's kind of like being undercover. I can watch how women dress and act, take that home and try it for myself. If I can get out in public without being noticed, all the better.
    Last edited by cassandra54; 09-19-2014 at 01:56 AM.
    man, i feel like a woman

  6. #31
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    Since I was a teenager, that's more than 40 years.

    Brainwashed... I don't think so.

    Fiinding this site has opened my eyes to how many other people have the same feelings. Now I know the purges, the ups and downs, the fear of being found out are all normal. Maybe not normal for everyone, but normal for many of us here.

    Not brainwashed, but knowing you are not the "only one" makes life much easier.

    I certainly wondered what transitioning might be like before I found this site and the rest of you. But somehow, reading through all the trials, tribulations and emotions that everyone has posted has given me a sort of peace about transitioning. I feel less desire to transition now than a few years ago. I'm happier with who I am. Some of that is age - which makes us less likely to conform to someone elses ideals. But some of that happiness is knowing I'm not alone.

    Would I transistion if I could? Well, if I could lose 30 pounds and 10 or 20 years sure I would. 30 pounds I could do, but from an age viewpoint it's too late. I have too many people that depend on me and too much grey to change now.

    Regardless, I still enjoy my "Robin" side a lot and I hope to spend more time on that side.

  7. #32
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    Hmmm, dressed for the first time about age seven. Then off and on when I could get away with it (i.e. undiscovered) for the next 63 years. Finally came out to my SO 2 yrs ago, because I got discovered visiting X-Dressing sites (not this one) and she thought I was having an affair. Coming clean as to who I am was way easier than trying to cover it up at that point. Found this site about 6 months ago, so any 'brainwashing' would have occurred way before I came here. I have always thought I was midway between male and female--liking aspects of both, not wanting to give up aspects of either. So...no I do not consider transition...I would still be in the 'middle' even if I had different plumbing at birth.
    Hugs,
    Trish

  8. #33
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    WOH,
    I'd been dressing for fifty years before joining this site !
    Yes it's easy to become brainwashed especially if you've been in the closet for most of that time ! Our lives are all different so you have to ignore what others are doing !
    Being self employed for most of my life I tend to think for myself and not be influenced by others ! Original thinking even if you're the sole voice never bothered me !
    I would think many CDers go through transition thoughts, why else what you want to dress unless you wanted to be a girl ? If you prefer to do more male activities and live as a man and have sex as man you know the answer is no. The thought of transition to me is like walking into no-mans-land, you lose so many things and gain very little in return ! Inside you may feel you have the right body but have few friends and family to share it with ! Sadly you swap unhappines for unhappiness ! This is just my view and not intended to upset anyone !!!

    Does the forum change you as a CDer again if you're in the closet it can open up your life ! If you're already out then you just exchange hopefully wonderful stories .

  9. #34
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Wild,

    I really have to differ with the implications of your questions. I'll start by saying I'd been dressing on and off for 50 years before I found this site.

    1. It IS possible for people to come here and be "brainwashed".

    I don't see see that this site "brainwashes" people. That implies that this site forces people into a mold, but it should be clear that we all have different approaches to our CD'ing and find our own comfort zones. When someone comes to the site with a problem, and folks offer advice, encouragement and perspective, I think this is far from "brainwashing". Certainly our approach to CD'ing may change given the experiences of others -- but isn't this true of life in general?

    2. Succumb to "groupthink" to "fit in" better. There are plenty of examples to be found here.

    Groupthink? Again, I'll bet that no two of us have exactly the same place along the CD/TG spectrum. Fitting in? Perhaps the only thing we all have in common is some level of wearing female clothes. If this site has done anything anything for me, it has helped me to appreciate that others have different approaches to and levels of CD'ing than I do. And oh yes, lots of good advice about clothes and how to dress better. The only way I want to "fit in better" is to be accepted (or at least tolerated) when I and out and about.

    Anyway, my
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  10. #35
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels View Post
    So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?

    That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?
    And you ask this now because....? You didn't get the answer from folk you wanted to hear...?

    Seriously - as I read back through this thread about half the respondents have indicated now or previously that they have no desire to be a female 24/7, me included... And a lot more might have confirmed this had you asked the original question in a different way, but my observations from the last 10 months, FWIW:

    - The larger portion of folk here are part-time dressers either because they want to be or because they accept that as a compromise with their normal, male life
    - There is a minority of folk here who would like to or do dress 24/7 - of those that do, my observations are that many are in their later years and so have less to compromise about than those with careers, young families and younger, wider, possibly unaccepting social circles
    - There is a smaller segment of those who do want to or do actually transition - they can be fairly vocal here but are not in the majority
    - There is a much larger population of "hobbyists" on the "other" websites, mainly because cd.com allows a more intellectual and supportive approach to discussing our collective condition, rather than accepting the lowest common denominator... you know this Wild - you refer to these other sites more than anyone else I know of here... presumably because...

    If only YOU would READ what people DO write then perhaps you would LEARN...?

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  11. #36
    MIDI warrior princess Amy Fakley's Avatar
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  12. #37
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    I was dressing long before Al Gore invented the Internet.

    I don't know if people can be brainwashed here but I think some folks try to brainwash other people, perhaps trying to make themselves feel like there are others like themselves.

    I have never given serious thought to transitioning but I have fantasized anout being a genetic female from time to time. I realize that there's no surgery or pills that could make me into one. I do plan to be one when I am reincarnated. I was one in my prior life.

  13. #38
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I've been a member here for 8 years and prior to that had been dressing for about 50 years....guess that means this place had little impact on me....
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  14. #39
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    I have been here about 5 years and have been dressing for at least 30. I don't think you can come here and be "brainwashed". For me it was a mild cleansing. (HAHAHA). When I came here I was looking for something I couldn't talk to anybody about. I wasn't sure of who or what I was. I actually found myself in many of the stories here.

  15. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels View Post
    So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?

    That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?
    I know you know the answer to this already, Wild. They're either lurking anonymously or not here at all. They don't need to be - they have no conflicting thoughts about their 'hobby' and if they're on a forum, it will be one of the other sites where they get to stare at lingerie photos! But I do agree that many men do treat it more as a hobby than perhaps the majority of members here do. But then, this is thankfully not a fetish site!

    I actually came to know many wives of crossdressers over the years and while we all discussed endlessly the horror of our situation, not a single husband was even vaguely feminine in attitude or presentation, out publicly, or even thinking about it all that much. All only dressed occasionally and mostly in something a hooker would wear, and only once a month or so. This is not reflective of most members here. Most here are far further along the spectrum than the 'hobbyist'. Did this forum help them along to this point? I sincerely doubt it. I suspect they arrived at this forum and fit here because they have a lot in common with the others. The occasional fetish crossdresser won't find much to talk about here, though they do sneak in the odd 'what color are your panties' thread when no ones looking, lol.

    And the trannies in a van had me choking on my coffee. I haven't laughed so hard in ages. Thanks for that
    Last edited by Tinkerbell-GG; 09-19-2014 at 06:55 PM.

  16. #41
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    I've been dressing for about 50 years and ran the gambit that probably everyone else here has run. But it is up to each person to make up their own mind about what they want or desire to do and then do it. Sometimes I wish I could say it was someone elses fault but in the end..... I put on the clothes. As a much younger person, i loved to hate cross dressing, but over time came to accept myself and even to like me as a person

  17. #42
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    I had been dressing for more than 40 years before discovering this site. It was as if I finally found a home.

  18. #43
    W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G. Jason+'s Avatar
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    I would say 9 or 10 years before I found this site.

    The site can be an amplifier for sure and provide encouragement or conversely discouragement for that matter but it can't create something that wasn't already there or remove a desire that is.

    I grew up an outcast so group think had largely lost much hold before my first pair of panties. One of the heated issues with me here was lipstick without the rest of the makeup and padding with at the time militarily short hair. It seemed to rub a lot of people the wrong way and some of them were able to intelligently articulate how they felt about it and why they did. Add to that the fact that it was on the top three list of things my wife hates about this whole deal and I rarely wear it. Whether that is succumbing to group think or making an intelligent decision based on input from my family and the closest to a peer group I have on the subject is probably up for debate.

    I can't reduce much anything to a complete NEVER. When I first started to really try to learn about what made me feel the way I do I thought that maybe I should have been a girl. The more I learned the more I realized that transition wasn't an option for me because what I am wasn't wrong.
    "You are not an accident, nor are you malfunctioning. You are performing EXACTLY as coded." For many "Man in a Dress" is the worst atrocity commit-able; for me it's just reality. Click to Learn About Me. Click to Complain About Me! There is a fine line between brutal honesty and honest brutality. It is rarely in the same place for the sender and the receiver.

  19. #44
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wildaboutheels View Post
    How many years had you been dressing BEFORE you landed at this site?
    almost fifty.
    It IS possible for people to come here and be "brainwashed".
    Not likely, more likely that they come here and start to believe that everything they once thought impossible, is now possible and that they will have support for doing what they already wanted to do.
    Succumb to "groupthink" to "fit in" better. There are plenty of examples to be found here.
    More like the pink fog.
    Of course, it's a NO Brainer that neither train of thought, makes one a "better" or "more serious" CDer.
    Well, to me, 'serious' crossdressers are those who actually crossdress, and feel good when we are dressed as girls/women. Non-serious ones just think about it, but don't actually do it.
    Before you came here, and/or even now, the thought or idea of transition has NEVER crossed your mind even fleetingly?
    Doesn't matter when the idea of transitioning comes up, whether before or after someone visits this forum. Way before online forums existed, some crossdressers would transition, and other wouldn't. Some would progress, others would not. Much of what determines that, is what's in each of our minds, how we think of ourselves, how we self identify as either male or female, and, to what extent we may have been in denial about our sexual identity and sexual preference. Due to society's tremendous stigma about homosexuality, there are still many crossdressers who simply cannot accept the idea that they really prefer to have sex as a girl, with another man. Pretty much every day we hear someone insult a man by referring to him with some type of feminine term; we are made to feel so guilty about what we are, by so many, that even if we deep down really want to be girls, lots of us just can't admit to anyone that we want to do so because we would feel like such a failure in life if we did.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 09-26-2014 at 01:51 AM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  20. #45
    Aspiring Member Samantha_Smile's Avatar
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    Well Ive been dressing for 19 years - over half my life and I've been registered here for the last 4 and half ish.

    Brainwashing?
    Yeah sure it's possible, but I think you need to be of a very uncertain disposition or easily lead to fall into the trap of doing something against your better judgement.

    Like with other forums, I collate the advice from many people on a given subject and contextually apply it to my life.
    What may be right for you may not be right for some.
    I don't treat this place as the last word in how to live my life, no matter how much my life has improved for knowing others as confused as me

    And as for transition, sure I've asked myself is it for me. But the answer is a resounding no.
    Plus as a health professional, I've learned a lot about transexualism just via related stuff on CD based forums, so it has also been professionally developmental.
    There are myriad problems that can occur by advising someone without knowing their full circumstances, which is why I never ask for opinions on here, because y'all don't know me LOL

    What concerns me most on here is the frequency with which users make posts that are the text equivalent of throwing all your bullets in the fire then running for the hills
    Samantha -x-

  21. #46
    Member jeank's Avatar
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    I've been dressing on and off in private for a couple (?) of decades and I only found this site existed earlier this month by accident.

    Great chance to pick up ideas - where to get x, what to use for x, how to x, and also nice to read others opinions of things that I have contemplated.

    I really can't see myself being convinced to do something I wasn't going to do anyway - but I may indeed make a better job of it learned from the very varied experiences of others.

  22. #47
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DebbieL View Post
    So yes, the group here has provided experience, strength, and hope for thousands of men and women, boys and girls, boys who want to be girls, girls who want to be boys, and their wives, lovers, and families. After years of hiding, of living in terror that our secret would be discovered, and the pain would start all over again, the experience of other survivors of this "halocaust" is a good and healthy thing.
    Debbie,

    Thanks for sharing your experience. You and I are in the same age group, and you evoked a lot of bad memories I had about the age being repressively conformist in general. One didn't have to be a transgendered person to be assailed for e.g. being an atheist, believing in equal rights for women, believing in equal justice for black people, or being sexually attracted to members of the same sex.

    To respond to the original post, and to clarify my comments on your post: Personally, I didn't start crossdressing until much later, the mid-1990's, and have never felt that my essence was female, so I never experienced anything similar to the horrors you describe when I was a child. I believe that I first discovered this website in 2007, and by then I had already made the discovery that I was attracted to men as a woman.

    So, I've never felt in the least bit "brainwashed" by the contents of the threads in this forum. In fact, my own personal opinion is that this site is remarkably "Vanilla" and non-cutting edge. I think it provides a marvelous support source for the transgender community, but it's never been my impression that it encourages, proselytizes or promotes crossdressing to those who have not already realized that they are probably transgendered.

  23. #48
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    Well I started crossdressing in late 2001, came across and joined the local crossdressing social group about 6 months later, and apparently I joined this forum in mid 2008.
    It was acquaintances in the local social group and transgender community that were influencing my gender questioning in the early part of my crossdressing (well before coming here). "Your young and should really look into it now rather than later", "The situation you are in, you've got nothing to lose and lots to gain", "If you dress less like a crossdresser and more like a real gg, you would feel more like home in your body"....
    One friend would call me up couple times a week asking if I am cozy and relaxing being myself with nails painted and in a skirt while watching television. Usually the answer was no, she would then reply with something similiar to "I bet Chantal would love to get dressed up, but Jeff is just being too lazy"
    I am sure that this forum could influence many into the gender questioning whether it being more engaged/educated of the tg community or being overwhelmed with support and advice by the frequent posters.

  24. #49
    Aspiring Member Jenny Gurl's Avatar
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    Over 25 years, but until I found this site, I just thought I was one of a very few and did not understand anything about it other than I have had the desire since I can remember, before Kindergarten.

  25. #50
    Gothic Queen Byron's Avatar
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    I've been dressing for 20 years total and only joined this site 3 years ago.
    Not much changed about how I approach my hobby after joining the site. I knew (living in the age of the internet) that I was not alone, but it did provide a medium for communication with others that share this little quirk we all have in common.
    This site most certainly helped me to understand some of the reasons why, and helped me to understand how I fit into this subculture. But it did not brainwash me after joining, my approach, reasons, and goals for CD'ing are the same as they have been for the past 20 years.

    Its important to remember, no two people approach CD'ing from the same background. Each of us have different reasons, desires and goals with our dressing.

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