So with this mystery theater event coming up soon that I'm participating in, I needed to get a few items from Target to help try and perfect a girly look. First stop, the cards and gift section to pick up a gift bag and tissue paper. I headed over to cosmetics to get some facial cleansers and beauty cream for my face (years of beards and mustaches have made it look rough). Then I swung past the lotions to help aid the rest of the body. Finally over to the aisle with shavers. I bought a female razor and cream, I figure if its good for women - use what works, plus this heightens the experience. Then back to cosmetics since some teen girls were hanging around earlier. I need nails and finger nail paint - fushia, same color as my dress.
Well since I was there, I might as well see what's in the intimates department. I bought 3 pairs of panties, a crocheted tanga, pink cotton hipster and a baby blue lace thong(a little small). When I first started shopping in the intimates section, I would ususally just shop the displays along the outside for a quick getaway. Then I graduated to scoping out the department, found an opening and ducked in venturing deep in to satin and lace hoping no one would notice me. Now I walk in browse, touch and take my time. I was once told "If you look like you know what you're doing or like you belong there, no one will question you." I enjoy watching the brave husband enter the dense pastel forest of unmentionables. He looks lost and confused. Suddenly he see's a piece of string on the floor "well I'd better pick that up, he says to himself. Oh god that's underwear - I think - hunny what is this?"
Well I moved on, thought I'd browse the women's clothes looking for a skirt, wrong season up here in MN - I'll wait a month when it's in season. On my way up to the registers, I looked at some swimwear, god I'd love to buy a 2-piece. Again, to many teens hanging around. Here's a question, if I'm shopping under the guise of a guy buying a valentine's beauty gift bag (after all I have all of the things needed for this) would buying a swimsuit for her (in reality myself) be appropriate? If I were enfem, no problem, but I'm thinking that a swimsuit is a pretty personal choice for her. I mean I know what I'd pick out. It's hard to justify buying one when you're a guy - panties, no problem. So skip the bikini's today and look for the least brillent looking cashier.
Now I can say this since I used to work for Target. I even helped conduct some interviews, so I know that we let a few non-Einsteins in. So you look for the kid who looks likes he's about to have a heart attack if you say hi to him and whats the first thing he should see in your basket? Now he's thinking how can I touch these things without losing control of my bladder. "I can just touch the hanger and I won't bother to remove this thing from the hanger either, yeah good plan, cuz the last time I saw one of these pieces of string was when Billy de-panted Emily in gym class - I'm so in love."
Well I read a thread about sandwiching a fem item between things like men's jeans. I will caution you though. Target has an excellent survailence system in all of their stores. My brother used to work the cameras at Target. Each Target has about 300 of 500 cameras on the sales floor, they're all digital and feed back to a high end monitoring system where someone is always on duty. If one person were to see you sandwiching and report in to Assets Protection regarding suspicious behavior, well you get to pick which story you like more to tell them. I urge you all, if your gonna sneak something into the fitting rooms, it could get you in trouble. Target even has their own CSI department in Minneapolis and now Vegas. The joke was if there was gonna be a new CSI series coming out would it be called CSI-Target. They can do everything the real CSI's can do except enforce the law. What you may call descretion, they will call shoplifting. They may not strong arm you out the door like Walmart, but they will have a cop waiting at the doors for you. Either throw caution to the wind and buy the item and return it if it don't fit or be brave and go to the fitting room with it out in the open.
Love to you all, and oh this tanga is comfy
P.S. I hope to be changing my screen name from dewdakota to Shelby soon.