CDing Comaraderie

[Wildaboutheels]

Many posts make it clear that the vast majority here would like to have other CDing friends to go out with/shop/hang around with etc. It also seems many here haven't/won't go out because they have no other CDers local to them. [that they are aware of]

And of course quite a few here know AND go out with other Forum members.

If you are someone, who has never gone out [with another CDer] just take your best guess but NO specific names please. This is not about any popularity contest here. About how MANY other Forumites would be a good match for you? Would their attitude/approach/mindset/presentation etc., need to be compatible with yours?

Or is having a CDing buddy more along the lines of being safer? Wouldn't 2 [or more] CDers out and about be MORE likely to attract attention?

[Annaliese]

I would go with anyone, willing to go with me, for me it is the Comaraderie if you dress, then we have something in common. I am ready, my problem is that so many say they want to go out and want a CD friend, but when approached, back off, and stop contact.

[Princess Grandpa]

I can only think of a handful on these forums I would be unwilling to spend time with. I have great respect for some here and would be proud to call them friends IRL. I feel a deep connection to most of the members and would gladly socialize with them. There are a few I dislike intensely and it takes all my self control to not post my true feelings and opinions about them.

Hug
Rita

[GingerSeti]

I think the ideal thing would be to go out in a group, a little like an event. Less likely to run out of things to talk about! Two couples (CD,GG,CD,GG) works well too because the GGs can relate and nobody feels like a third wheel. There are many members here that sound like they would be fun but geography is the major issue. I read the posts and can tell who takes their time and doesn't want to offend - and their are some that don't care what they say. Even based on that, the list of those I'd like to meet some day is long and diverse. I'd love to get together with the UK girls someday because my experience there has been positive before. Plus they seem to have more events going on than we do here in the USA. I do think Europe in general is more tolerant of alternate lifestyle choices and doesn't fixate on it like around here. Anyway, good question.

G

[Madilyn A.]

I've been on this site for near 5 years, I can say I have met online some of the best people I know. In addition to dressing, so many have other similar interests as I, and strike me as wonderful human beings. There are a few in the Philly area who I have met here online and sparked a true friendship who have encouraged me to get out with them to the many CD meetups in the area. As yet, I am still unable to find the time to do so.....call me chicken !

[Kate Simmons]

I don't mind having any number of CDing "buddies" to talk to and drink with when I go to the club but they have to realize up front that I will be on that dance floor a lot 'cause I LOVE to dance en femme.

[Beverley Sims]

I would socialise with just about any one here, my only rule is I am against militancy, if you have a definite opinion about something air it but not constantly.
I would be asking questions as I like to learn how others cope with life.
I could sit in Starbucks in times square and discuss the passing parade outside with others.
levity is the key with me, I do not take life too seriously.

[Yoshisaur]

I've actually never gotten to meet a CDer in real life I would like to though

[larry]

I am all booked for "Fantasia Fair" next month. That will be by jumping in point. hehehe

[Jean 103]

I would like to have someone to go out with, coffee, shopping , whatever . I have sat next to CDers at the local Indian casino. I wanted to talk to her but .... I was in guy mode at the time.

[Jodi]

Remember about going out in a group--the larger the group, the better the chance of being clocked and attention drawn to the group. Two cd's no problem. Three cd's a 50% chance of being clocked. Over three cd's in a group and you have a 95% chance of being read. This is from my own experience on being out and about.

Jodi

[chelyann]

i would love to go out and fun on the town with some of you lovely lady's but we are a few miles apart

[Seana Summer]

To me its not a high priority to "go out" dressed, little chance I will blend in and its more work than its worth to me. I would not mind a friend or 2 to go have lunch with and talk with in person from time to time. Maybe go shopping occasionally

All in due time

[Allison Chaynes]

I don't go out, but it would be nice to have a friend just to talk to about CD stuff from time to time. Problem is, most of them I have met in person want something sexual, which isn't for me.

[Seana Summer]

Problem is, most of them I have met in person want something sexual, which isn't for me.

Maybe not most that I know, but that is a concern of mine too.

[Genny B]

I went to a gather of over 60 earlier this month. It was my first time out in public. I had met with the group before but it was at a home. I met some great people that night, but I have to admit I had just as much fun at a friends house that five of us met at before to get ready!

Genny B

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, It really sounds like fun but I don't think that I will ever be able to go out.

[Sometimes Steffi]

First of all, I'm going to brag a little. I've met 14 of my friends from here FtF. I have made some very good CD friends who I see regularly There are many people here I would love to meet. Once, on a trip to Denver, I connected with about 25 members of the Mile High Transgender group. I would meet just about any CD/TS, and I'll even make an offer. If you're coming to the DC area, PM me and I'll see what I can arrange, subject to keeping the non-accepting wife happy..

Remember about going out in a group--the larger the group, the better the chance of being clocked and attention drawn to the group. Two cd's no problem. Three cd's a 50% chance of being clocked. Over three cd's in a group and you have a 95% chance of being read. This is from my own experience on being out and about.

Jodi

I guess it's true, but I just don't really care, as long as it is safe.

I went to a gather of over 60 earlier this month. It was my first time out in public. I had met with the group before but it was at a home. I met some great people that night, but I have to admit I had just as much fun at a friends house that five of us met at before to get ready!

Genny B

I was also in the group of 60.

[Gillian Gigs]

I have met another CD/TS from this site at the coffee shop for a coffee and donut. Both of us endrab, but that is not the point, we had a time of fellowship and a chance to talk, getting to know each other abit better. Would I like to meet others, yes, but I am not bothered about how we are dressed. I am more interested in sharing with, understanding, caring for, and having a relationship, which goes beyond the superficial, and extends to the soul. How I envy the relationships that women have with each other, most quickly get past any competitiveness, and simply relate to each other on a different level than guys ever do. Most guys are too afraid to allow anyone near enough to get into a relationship like most women have with each other.

[Carmen]

Remember about going out in a group--the larger the group, the better the chance of being clocked and attention drawn to the group. Two cd's no problem. Three cd's a 50% chance of being clocked. Over three cd's in a group and you have a 95% chance of being read. This is from my own experience on being out and about.
Jodi

Yes 2 seems to be the key for me.
I have been out several times with another sister and we were basically accepted and treated with respect.

[BillieJoEllen]

There is one lady here that I would love to meet with but it seems like every time we try to make plans to meet she has an excuse. I do think she is afraid of me which I can appreciate and understand. At present I haven't anyone to talk to.

[LelaK]

Hi WAH, It really sounds like fun but I don't think that I will ever be able to go out.

How about in VR? Virtual reality? That would be a great way to meet everyone.

[docrobbysherry]

I have met 30 or more cd.comers at the SCC. Maybe 10 or so at the DLV. And, another dozen locally at clubs and gatherings. I can't recall even ONE member that I haven't liked! Mind u, in groups and on outings, it's difficult to find the relaxed one on one time required to really get to know someone. I've only had that opportunity with maybe 15 or so cd.comers? However, with many others at the SCC relaxing in the bar, evenings there.

I don't go out, but it would be nice to have a friend just to talk to about CD stuff from time to time. Problem is, most of them I have met in person want something sexual, which isn't for me.

I get hit on a lot online. But, NEVER HAVE BEEN here on cd.com. Maybe 1 or 2 flirts? And, never had a discussion regarding sex with another cd.comer online or in person!

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Or is having a CDing buddy more along the lines of being safer? Wouldn't 2 [or more] CDers out and about be MORE likely to attract attention?

This is an excellent point, Wild. While out at Disneyland at Halloween a few years back, I met 2 other closet CD's there. One was best described as "partially dressed/costumed". The other had a terrific costume and may have passed with kids. Being masked, I passed pretty well. When we walked around together we attracted a lot of negative attention. Altho, much of it was because they were so nervous being out for their first times. After an hour, they went home. So, I wondered around on my own for a couple of hours and the reaction from other park attendees changed dramatically!

Other than on Halloween, I can't pass. And, I find going out with other dressers to vanilla venues to be less stressful and WAY MORE FUN than going out on my own. In fact, I don't go out dressed alone except to costume events.

As a closet dresser, I find things like going to Denny's or Macy's dressed to be very stressful and pointless unless I can pass!

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

As has been suggested here, there are many clubs and hopefully one close enough for you to drive to. Best is to do a search and find one. Then contact the administrator and ask about any meetings. There will be a certain caution for everyone involved and screening but if you do make contact, you could first attend a meeting in drab. I've done that and with a friend I already met we attended a support meeting. I met people all along the spectrum from drab to transitioning. I met a lot of friendly people and some who I'd avoid.

That may not have happened if I hadn't fist met annother girl. Back in the 1990's I saw a personal ad in Tapestry magazine by someone a few towns over. I sent a letter to Tapestry to forward to this girl. (That's how they handled contacts.) We eventually met in drab on a Saturday afternoon in a busy McDonalds parking lot. We've been friends ever since.

I don't want to suggest Craigslist. Too many bad things happen there.

Cheryl

[samantha rogers]

I have now met several girls from here ftf, maybe a dozen or more now. Sometimes dressed, sometimes in drab, sometimes in groups and sometimes one on one. Always had a great time :-)
Never been hit on but I think everyone knows Im married and not into that. That or its my breath...
Everyone I have met has been awesome. Some are now very good friends.
As far as passing in groups...you know, I dont know if I pass or not. I try, of course, and I think I do alright at my height, bur regardless, it has never stopped me from going out with anyone, whether they pass or not. I know a lot of people care about getting read, and I respect and understand that..I really do. But I guess, for me, I just dont care as much, not really. This is who I am. This is me. These are my friends. And I care way more about them than I do the opinions of strangers.
I try to present as well as I am able. I really do. I take it seriously.
Its who I am. Its not a costume...its me.
But if I am read as not gg anyway...well, so I am read. It is not going to stop me from being out with a friend or friends.