I don not share the enthusiasm that many here express nor do I intend to unwind any progress many have made towards self acceptance and the like. I don't accept this part of myself, in fact I wholly reject it. These impulses and needs of mine have isolated me from a world which simply has zero space for a giant man emasculating himself, parading himself around presenting himself to be something he is not nor ever will be. I am saturated in shame and if one more person recylcles the same tired tropes of Tony Robbins TED Talk love myself, know myself, psycho-academic nonsense I will barf. I hate this shit. I am not inspired, I am not a special flower who expresses myself in perfectly natural ways. I am alone but safe.