Whew!
On the night my SO and I decided 5 years of fighting and so many ups and downs we were going to cut our losses, we had a long talk that got more open than ever between us. I told her about the really cute pair of Qupid heels I hid in my work backpack and wore on the days off during the week she was at work. About the previous two times I had built a decent stash of clothing and shoes only to purge, especially painful giving up the red top/black pants/platform heels outfit I had. About how when we got together I did not want to be a crossdresser and have to deal with the conflicting issues I had with it. She was understanding and said it explained why she felt I never really connected with her. I wasn't being honest with myself, and if I had told her years ago, we might have been able to work something different.
For now, though, she has said she would help teach me make up and how to properly move like a girl. The discussion also led to some really interesting admissions on both of our parts sexually. To say it really makes me regret not being open with her years ago is an understatement, but lesson learned. In the meantime, she is taking time to heal after back to back marriages that ended up draining her emotionally, and I will explore this hidden side for awhile and see what I really am now. I am excited about us maybe going to New Orleans as BFFs for lack of a better term. The idea of going there en femme out and about is so terrifying I find myself anxious to experience it anyway and walk around all dressed up.
Danielle
