The time is now

[PretzelGirl]

Sarah, I went ahead and wrote "If you have problems, call Sarah at XXX-XXXX" on the bathroom wall. They will all have time to read it as they hang out on there too much.

After the HR meeting, HR and my manager went off to my director's staff meeting and told all of them. Over the course of today, that staff has been telling their leaders. Also yesterday, we took my team in a conference room and I told them. Had some good discussion there. Over the course of the day today, I have been fanning the communications by telling some people in certain areas. Tomorrow should have it full bore. It has been complete acceptance and support. One manager not in my area heard about it and called me in and asked what he could do. I said the toughest thing was the communication. Within an hour, people I knew on his team were coming out of his office and letting me know they knew.

One more day......

[Janelle_C]

Sue I'm so happy for you! I hope no one can stop your smile!

[tracigirl_tv]

Sue, I so admire your courage. Best wishes for this week, and, importantly, beyond. You rock!

[PretzelGirl]

I am home and Steve has been taken off. So ends the presentation transition among other things and so starts the social transition.

It was a great, but busy day at work. I know many haven't heard yet, but I am out for two work days so may the rumor mill grind! I had some great discussions and several invites to swing by other's cubicles when I go in. I will have to give all the prep at work a 9 out of 10. I would have liked more communication, but the people were great!

[Angela Campbell]

So happy to hear it went well. Good for you Sue!

[Sarah Doepner]

It must be going good so far. I haven't gotten any calls, but if they do call they better be ready to get an ear full about support, respect and love.

[Andy66]

I know many haven't heard yet, but I am out for two work days so may the rumor mill grind!

Haha, watch that workplace rumor mill. Some of those rumors can be pretty creative. Im so glad to hear youre doing well.

[PretzelGirl]

I am wondering what "truths" are going to be passed around. But when your only option is the least of all options, you have to run with it. Today I am conducting business near work and was debating stopping to update my security badge. I may stick my head in with a few key people and say hi.

[Andy66]

If youre feeling develish, you could even start your own rumors...
Shhh... Dont tell anybody, but Im a spy for the CIA and I was sent here to watch Fred in Accounting. I was pretending to be a man, but now that we have all the information we need, I can get rid of my disguise.

[donnalee]

Like they say, the only way out is through. You've done your prep work and have succeeded remarkably well; time to give yourself a pat on the back and go on to further success.
Congratulations!!!

[PretzelGirl]

I actually ended up in the area of work today and had a 2-3 hours wait between two things I needed to do. Since I live 45 minutes away, I decided what the heck and went in to get a new picture for the company directory and a new badge. While walking in to the building for the picture, I greeted two of my program managers separately and each time they were walking on past until I called them back and talked more with them..The picture turned out great which makes me 3 for 3 on ID pictures. Breaking the odds. Other people that I stopped and talked with were also amazing in their support. The ladies were all complimentary. A few guys waited until we were alone and said that I looked good. Then I went to visit the director of my program managers, who I have a long work relationship with. On the way to the office, I passed two of my program managers and greeted them and they just said how are you and walked on. While meeting with the director, another poked her head in and talked to him and even with eye contact with me, never had that look of recognition. So I guess I look a little different.

That should ease the nerves for going in on Wednesday. I did have to walk one hall and had one guy give me 5 or 6 looks. I didn't even know him, so that surprised me but as I told the guy I was walking with, I will have to get used to that.

[PretzelGirl]

And it is done. Went into work yesterday for the first time. No hesitations, but the nerves were churning in my gut. I got to my cube and looked at the nameplate with Sue instead of Steve and there was a card on the keyboard. A group of ladies I talked with on Monday congratulated me and left me notes of support and encouragement. I only talked with a couple of people before going into the customer meeting. At the meeting, only two of the people had seen me previously, but it went very well. It was interesting that my voice sounded awful before going in and cleared up just in time and held up through the meeting. Nerves maybe?

After the meeting, a friend took me to lunch, which was a great break. After I was able to run over to a few areas to "introduce" myself. Everyone was super supportive. I told one group I work with daily that I was told by my boss that I had to work smarter, not harder, so I made the change. The ladies loved that one. The men.... The day was filled with me greeting people in the hall by name and they would still walk on by. Stares didn't happen. There was a tour of high level people going through at one point and I saw my director in the pack. He didn't hesitate to recognize me and gave me a big smile and a nod. BTW, I do believe I have a great management chain.

So today will probably bring a lot more discussions as yesterday had more focused events taking up my schedule. I feel energized now!

[tracigirl_tv]

Congratulations Sue! Over that first, steepest hurdle! Way to go.....

Hugs,

Traci

[Jorja]

Now don't get the big head and think you are someone special. I have seen this happen a lot. Continue to do your job to the best of your ability and everything will be alright.

[MarieTS]

Sue, Friday will be the first day of the rest of your new life. Enjoy and be confident in your decision.
SO, SO VERY happy for you!

[PretzelGirl]

Jorja, I so agree. What I have said, and even told my boss, is that my performance can't go down as it will be noticed too easily. It shouldn't go up too much as it would look like overcompensation. Which isn't necessarily bad, but who has the time? If it stays the same, it might appear to be less because of increased scrutiny. So my goal is to bump it up a little, which I almost can't help but to do since my wingman quit and I don't have a replacement yet.

Today was another great day. Lots of acceptance for some and just working like it was a normal day (it should be) for others. I had people walking past me still without recognizing me. I never really thought that would happen because I go by what I see in the mirror. Some I realized would never be back to the way it was because I worked with them once on a project and never have again, but always said Hi in the halls. They knew me by looks, not name. No real smooth way to return those interactions to the way they were, so it becomes part of the many things that get lost.

Funniest interaction of the day. I go to a meeting and get there a few minutes early. Me and one guy from my team are there. A guy I work with most every day starts to walk in and pauses and says "AmI at the right meeting? Oh, J is here. ". Then he proceeds to walk over to me, holds out his hand, and goes "Hi, I am .....". I had to work to not laugh.

Best moment of the day. A lady had been wanting to talk to me on one of our efforts and is in a rush. She stops at my cube and starts talking about the issues real fast and in mid sentence, pauses and says "my, you are pretty". I had a few compliments like that, but the pause in mid sentence made this one feel different.

[chelseababy]

Congratulations, sounds like it went amazingly!

Have to say, this is one aspect I'm really not looking forward to! Luckily for me it's a few months away yet but I can imagine my nerves on my first day now. ...I was shaking when I wore glasses for the first time!!

[Jorja]

This might be just a little bit different than wearing glasses Chelsea.

[Connie D50]

GOOOOOOOOD Luck And pick a great outfit for your first day :-)

[PretzelGirl]

It has been great Chelsea. But everything still has to settle out, so I do still have to be prepared. It is a process.

If I was to give advice based on my very limited two days plus the few days of preparing everyone, I think making sure they all know ahead of time is the top of the list. I got hamstrung on that one thing, so some people are getting caught off guard. After that I think about those that said they started to freeze in the parking lot. Remember, this is what you want and it has nothing to do with what they want. I jumped out of the car and walked fast to get in. Last, I made sure I owned it. Confidence isn't everything but it shows people you are doing what you want and if you hide and skulk around walls, it sends a different message like you are embarrassed. Okay, one more. Smile! People are attracted to happy people.

Oh and Connie, I am guessing you only read the first post because it was the Wednesday that just passed. But thank you. It was a great outfit. It only took emptying the closet.

[PretzelGirl]

Over two weeks now and any naysayers that may exist are staying in hiding. I have to say that I always saw parts of Steve in the mirror, but the comments are starting to sway my view of myself. I actually hate to sound overly positive as I don't want to seem like a Pollyanna, but we don't always get to hear or experience the good. I am getting a lot and want to share three events over the last three work days and they all had me in tears.

During my last week as Steve, a friend invited me to her house for a ladies get together that Saturday. After accepting I saw that a co-worker had accepted also. She wasn't anyone I worked with but I passed her in the halls, so I knew who she was. This was also when I knew I would have trouble getting the word out at work. So I asked my friend if I should say anything and she said to leave it alone and if something came up at the party, we would take her aside. Well I went and nothing happened and it was fun. At work last Thursday, I passed her in the hall for the first time and she yelled out "Why didn't you tell me?". We then started talking and she said that the lady at the party kept looking at her funny and she was wondering if she wanted to say something.

I have a work area that I worked in for about six years up until about a year ago. It is still in my responsibilities, but I don't stay in the regularly. I went in to check with everyone on how things were going. One lady that hadn't been there the other times I went in was seeing me for the first time. As I was talking with everyone, I looked over and her eyes were all red and teary like she had allergies. I asked her if she was okay and she said "I can't imagine what you went through. You look amazing." I almost lost it right there.

Today was one of the anticipated firsts. The restroom I regularly use always seems empty. This afternoon I went to a meeting in another building. Sure enough as I am at the sink, another lady comes out of a stall. The first thing I hear is "I want to tell you something" and I freeze. She then says "I looked at your picture and you look great. We are all so happy for you in my group."

I suspect the negative people are holding themselves back while things settle out. I know I need to carry these things with me to give me strength when I will need it later.

[kimdl93]

So far, pretty darned good. I am sure there are naysayers out there, but the interesting and fortunate thing is they may simply be reluctant to expose their intolerance in the face of such broad acceptance.