Occasionally we see the post claiming it's time to design skirts or dresses for men. Yuck! What a terrible concept. It's not about the clothes. Clothes for women are wonderful, don't get me wrong, but if being able to wear them whenever I wanted was the whole point of the argument my world would be different. If it were just the smooth materials and physical comfort, I have clothing designed for men that fit that bill. And it's not style or variety either, if I were to work at it I could find plenty of design challenges within the world of male clothing. Men can wear rings, necklaces, bracelets, watches and earrings, some of it pretty stylish, so it isn't the jewelry. Same for scents, they are different but pleasant in their own way.
It's none of that. It's the way the clothes, makeup, accessories and in our case body shaping make me feel differently about who I am. If it were just the clothes I wouldn't wear makeup or paint my toenails or wear a wig or buy glasses in a design meant for women. All of these things are exterior efforts to bring the outside into agreement with what happens inside my head. I believe the word may be congruence. I can't say this is just a hobby either, it isn't necessary to work on your hobby to maintain emotional balance, I have to pay attention to this or my behavior changes. I don't have to do this all the time, I'm not 24/7, but if ignored it becomes a problem. I've seen it happen too many times in the past but didn't think it through.
If it were just about the clothes, I wouldn't feel right about going out in public shopping, visiting with friends, eating and being entertained. And during that time out I'm not concerned that my appearance may be a little disconcerting for others because it feels so appropriate mentally and emotionally for me. Even if I'm mis-gendered, but correctly sexed, and called “sir” I can blow it off because I'm at peace with myself. It's not about the clothing any more than a church is about religion, a school is about education or a hospital is about good health. Those buildings and my choice of clothing (and everything else) create the environment where something else happens.
The trick now is to figure out what exactly is happening, isn't it?