Wow, that's a tough read for certain. Perhaps it was quite innocuous and she was just looking to spark an interesting conversation; or, indeed, she was letting you know she's been there and does not find it attractive or acceptable. I do also love Tink's thought for a thread.
I think there is definitely something to this, based on what I've read here, I've usually had comparatively good experiences telling the women in the my life about my dressing, both the people I was dating and several of my friends, but all of them were strange, quirky, creative open minded women, one of which is now my wife. Of course my bland male self, while boring looking has a unique enough personality that that is the type of women I was guided to naturally even without thinking about the dressing side of things, so that made it easier.Originally Posted by atlflygirl
Trust me, few hetero women out there know anything about crossdressing. It's just something from that movie 'The Rocky Horror Show' or 'Ru Paul's Drag Race' and the men who do it are most certainly gay or about to transition. They don't think about it because they assume you're not in their dating pool. Why else do you think y'all get asked 'are you gay and do you want to be a woman?' as soon as you reveal your dressing to your spouse?
Those women who mention it likely KNOW of it. They've had some form of personal experience with it, whatever that is. Sure, it could have been a crossdresser in a restroom but I doubt it. I think I managed to shut down the entire forum discussing that very topic not so long ago, but the basic vote was most people don't notice or care. Most women won't connect a crossdresser in a restroom with a prospective date, UNLESS they've dated one before; known someone who dated one; have one in the family; or have been spending too much time on Wikipedia etc. Though, Wikipedia is actually pretty kind to crossdressers, so I'm betting on number 1.
And I'd love to start that thread I suggested but I fear retribution for making someone here feel bad. And yes, someone always does. So if anyone would like to start it, I'll happily chime in and hopefully so will some others. Maybe other GG's don't notice these things though? I'll suggest a couple I DO notice - manicured fingernails. Eyebrows (I can spot those that have only had the teensiest tweak!) Subtle comments other men wouldn't make: ie "that's a nice skirt". (Had this said to me the other day by a shop assistant) I then noticed my admirer's longish nails and groomed eyebrows and I just knew. My friend who was with me at the time knew nothing. Posture is another, and even feet placement when sitting or standing. I've even seen through a very masculine man because he lingered a little too long at the pantyhose aisle at a store, just a millisecond longer so that the Average Joe wouldn't notice, and I soon realised he had very smooth legs below his shorts. Otherwise, I'd never have known! You're cunning, you lot
I'm sort of in on this little secret now, I guess. It's not necessarily one I wanted to know, but you're not alone out there - that much is true. You are sneaky and you are MANY x
Last edited by Tinkerbell-GG; 10-10-2014 at 08:00 AM.
Speaking of cultural touchstones related to crossdressing, every woman I've told who reacted positively to it didn't care for the Rocky Horror at all, but all liked Eddie Izzard, who presents crossdressing in much more sane, masculine, less cartoonish sort of way.
I love Eddie! Though, I suspect many people think he's just playing a part when he crossdresses, and I've also read that he fends off the 'you must be gay?' question, a lot. I think even Eddie struggles with relationships with women because of all the myths out there.
I'll also admit, he's sexiest as his guy self with a goatee and playing a bad guy. Why do British men make bad look so good?? Okay, off topic there...
I would say that they don't think about it because they believe that they are right and there is no need to question anything. And that's where it gets dangerous. When you hear things like "It's a choice" or "There's no such thing as a bisexual" it's because people have already made up their minds that they know what's going on and there's no reason to challenge anything.
Well I can tell you I didn't know much about crossdressing, not because I think I'm always right (for a guy who professes to appreciate women so much he wants to dress like on - this sounds kinda bitter) but because I've never had a male to female CDer reveal themself to me until my current SO, and even at that when it became more and more prevalent I started doing some research and ended up here. Why on earth would we ever learn about something that is not a part of our personal life. I can't tell you a whole lot about jock itch because I've never had, nor would I expect to. I know it exists but that's about it.
I too assumed that CDers are gay and I consider myself a pretty open-minded person. I know several female to male CDers and all are lesbians so maybe that's part of it, but think about it; if a male to female CDer is so in touch with his feminine side that he has a NEED to dress like a woman, wear makeup, a wig and publicly be treated and accepted as a woman, why would we not assume that includes the bedroom?
There's lots and lots and lots of things we don't know about in this world and unless they effect us, there is no way to learn about them all. CDing, especially male to female has a LONG way to go before it will be accepted publicly. I personally think that because of the narrow-minded thoughts of homophobes disguised as Christians it will struggle for quite some time. Look at the fight for gay marriage. That is still being challenged in the courts, but throw in the added danger of homophobes who assume that because you are dressed as a woman you are trying to pick up a date with another man it faces a whole different kind of danger that gay men still worry about.
Hi Shelby, I think that you made the right decision moving on.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
I once had a girl friend who hinted that her dad had done something when lonesome for her mom with her mom's clothes. I left it alone and didn't question it, but she brought it up twice. Now I think he may have been a CD but who knows. Now I regret not digging deeper.
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