My marriage is over

[Dianne S]

I have had radio silence for a few days. On Tuesday, my wife and I separated. Although I was the one who finally made the decision, I am still raw and emotional. I cry every time I'm alone.

I think in the long run this will be better for both of us. But for now, it's nothing but pain.

[PretzelGirl]

I am sorry Dianne. This is one of the toughest outcomes to me.

[Jorja]

I am so sorry to hear this Dianne. Another casualty of this damn condition we call being transsexual.

[mechamoose]

I'm so sorry Dianne. There is nothing I can say that will fix it.

If you are being true to yourself, then you don't need anything further. Yes, it hurts, but truth is truth.

<3

- MM

[MsVal]

That's awful news, Dianne. You must be devastated. Failed marriages are heart wrenching developments we all hope to avoid.

When I hear from people that say they have divorced, I don't know what to say. I usually respond with a question: "Is that a bad thing or a good thing?"

Surprisingly, in many cases it's a good thing. People that had suffered for years, vainly trying to endure, much less correct a poor match were relieved to breathe fresh air once again. This does not mean that they were happy with the process, but that it was worthwhile.

In your case Dianne, I do hope that you can breathe fresh air again, whether it comes after the marriage ends, or a satisfactory resolution is reached.

I *DO* hope that it does not result in returning to an (now even more) intolerable situation.
((hug))

[Annaliese]

How bout a Hug, you need one about now.

[larry]

Best Wishes

[I Am Paula]

There are few comforting words to say, except, I hope you can move on, and treat this like a beginning, not an end.

[Barbara Ella]

Dianne, so sorry to hear this. Keep your focus on that long run, and know you have friends here.

Barbara

[Dianne S]

Thank you everyone. Being transgender didn't help, but I think my marriage would have ended anyway... it was unhappy for a few years for many other reasons. Still, I was not prepared for the shock and rawness of actually ending it. It feels like a death in a way even though I'm convinced it's the best thing for me and for my wife.

Anyway, I hope to have my own place in a few days and then I can start rebuilding my life. I am down, but not out and I cannot lose hope.

[Heather25]

So sorry to hear this Dianne. I'm sure it is a terrible feeling right now and I hope in time the wound will heal. I very much liked what MsVal had to say and I hope that in time it will prove to be true in your case. Probably right now it doesn't much seem like it though. Probably just very frightening and terribly lonely, but you will get through it.

Heather

[Keri L]

Sorry, Diane. I am sure things will be tough for awhile, but keep your chin up!

[Rogina B]

You have an "opportunity" that you didn't have before...

[CostaRicaRachel]

I really don't think I can say anything to make you feel better. I have broken up from
a very long relationship, I felt so empty and alone. I really empathize with you, and
hope you will feel better soon.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I too am sorry Dianne. I've been there too. I know how severe the hurt can be. It is like a death and one we have to spend time mourning. I hated the lonliness too. It took me a long time but I had a couple friends to lean on. That was back around 1984. I know it does take time, but little by little you'll pick up the pieces in the long life you have ahead. The open wound is raw, but it will heal in time. Don't forget, you have all of us here who understand this supposed "affliction" and know how we individually deal with it. Trust me. It hurts now but eventually you will find many little experiences, new friends, and events that will have you smiling some day! I look back and compared what I have today and know I lived through a bad dream.

Cheryl

[PaulaAnn]

Dianne;Sorry to hear this;it's a gut wrenching and emotional time for both you and your ex.Good luck and keep to the positive.
My wife and myself divorced 19 Aug '14,but we remain cordial to each other.We just couldn't live together,though we tried.So rather than the two of us being so unhappy ,we decided to go our own way.
Stay strong,
PaulaAnn

[KellyJameson]

It leaves a painful emptiness in every waking moment that often follows you into your dreams.

I follow several people on the forum because of their insights into the problems and complexities of life and you are one of them.

You have that remarkable gift of sharing your thoughts and feelings without being ego-centric

Your daughters are lucky to have you as a parent and I'm glad they have been accepting of you.

I have never had a relationship that was not touched by my being transsexual and that includes every type of relationship we are capable of having with others.

From family to the most casual of encounters.

Gender is woven into everything.

I hope that these painful changes result in your experiencing your life as expansive because to often we contract into ourselves when in pain.

It will not happen immediately and it may only be after years have past that you can look back and reflect on all the dark days you have survived that finally brought you into the light.

For me I can say it has been worth it but I certainly would not have said that before.

[Starling]

We become used to living our lives in terms of another person, Dianne, so splitting up is like removing a part of ourselves. But the wounds do heal, and in time the best of what drew you both together becomes what endures. Nonetheless, the short-term pain is intense. Be good to yourself.

Lallie

[Rachel Smith]

Thank you everyone. Being transgender didn't help, but I think my marriage would have ended anyway... it was unhappy for a few years for many other reasons. Still, I was not prepared for the shock and rawness of actually ending it. It feels like a death in a way even though I'm convinced it's the best thing for me and for my wife.

Anyway, I hope to have my own place in a few days and then I can start rebuilding my life. I am down, but not out and I cannot lose hope.

Exactly how I felt when mine ended. Like yours it wasn't good for a long time but neither of us wanted to end it. When I decided to transition that ended it for her. Be prepared it may feel raw for quite awhile, mine did. Keep your chin up it will get better in time.

Hugs
Rachel