Risks of being recognized when OUT enfemme

[Jackie7]

I drive a distinctive car (powder blue with a roof rack for kayaks), I have a distinctive basso voice, my wife is flamboyant and assertive in her sweetness, and still I usually am not recognized when I go out, even when we encounter people who know us both. We have a million photos going by at random on the living room computer, a lot of them are Jackie posing or Jackie with my wife, visitors on more than one occasion have asked who is that red headed woman in so many of your photos. We just laugh. It's all very strange, glad we stopped worrying about it.
As has been often said before, most people are so preoccupied by their own stuff that they don't really see anyone else. Including us - we get so worried about whether we are passing or blending or being recognized that we don't see the other person at all.

[DaphneMiller]

I have a few photos on my desk at work. A couple of our kids, and a smaller one of Daphne. No one has ever commented or asked who she is. Sometimes the best place to hide something is out in the open.

Daphne
x

[Marcelle]

I kind of resolved this issue by outing myself to my friends, coworkers and family. However, I have run into people I know quite well and even though they are looking right at me there is no hint of recognition.

Hugs

Isha

[sherri]

Coupla thangs from personal experience for those for whom being outed would be seriously problematic, lest you be lulled into a false security ...

• Just cuz one person doesn't recognize you doesn't mean no one will. Some people are more observant and analytical than others.
• Just cuz you didn't encounter an oh-my-god reaction doesn't mean no one clocked you. For a variety of reasons, some people will choose to keep their discovery to themselves, at least as far as you're concerned, and you might not even be aware of the incident if you don't spot them too.
• When I started dressing 15 years ago I think I was less recognizable in drag than I an now. For some of us, aging kinda does that.
• As others have mentioned, context is key, but where it tends to be our ally in many environs, it can cut the other way in others. In tg-friendly clubs where gender bending is more common, for instance, anyone present who knows you will be more inclined to put 2 and 2 together.

[ophelia]

Resolve that you will get clocked as a crossdresser. You may look totally convincing, but body language and behaviour patterns take decades to learn or manage and will betray you. Be thankful that most people don't really care enough to make a fuss or to create a dangerous confrontation. That said, being mindful that people will see me as a man in a dress I make sure that they are less able to determine which man is in that dress...