Questions from a local reporter

[Peggie Lee]

These questions were poised by a reporter to a friend being interviewed.



1. When did you know you were not the sex you were born?

2. How do you define your sexual orientation?

3. Share some stories of issues you had with your personal image, your experience of being in the “wrong” body.

4. Describe three examples of interactions you had with your peers related to your gender identity.

5. How did or does your family accept you?

6. Do you want surgery? If so, which ones?

7. When did you start your transition? What choices are you making: personal appearance, hormones, surgery?

8. What level of change do you desire (or can you afford)? Full-time, part-time, body change . . .

9. If applicable, have you had any issues with divorce, custody of children? If so, explain.

10. If applicable, what were your children’s reactions?

11. What resources have you found the most useful?

Here are my responses.

1. When I was nine I asked my mother when was I going to become a girl, I cried when I was told never, you are a boy. I did not want to be a man Like my father but to be a woman like my mother. I had always thought boys and girls were the same until they changed in to adults.

2. I think of myself as a lesbian who has a penis and did not want one, it never felt right to me.

3. At about 9 1/2 I started to grow tall, grew pubic hair and my breast started to bud, by 12 I was 6 foot tall with "B" cup breasts and no balls. So at 13 I was placed on testosterone to force male puberty, no one ever asked me what I thought and my body was changed forever male.
Growing up I felt defective, never quite fitting in and always hiding by breasts, back in 1967 tried to enlist in the Navy but was rejected and when I was drafted and the Army sent me home saying they would only take me in time of national emergency, this all contributed to a life long feeling I was defective.
But not knowing of any other possible choice, I adapted to what society had determined how I should be.

4. I came out to my weekend coffee group at the local Mac D's, and they were surprised all right but were also very accepting. In the past there is one fellow that comes in and if seeing me will turn around leave, this morning he came over sat down with us and chatted for 25 minutes as if I were someone new to the group, finally one of the others asked him why he sit down with me there, the look on his face was priceless, he just got up and left, it certainly made my weekend. Passing for 25 minutes while talking to someone that doesn't like you tells me I am making good progress on my transition. (P.S. He later came back and has been supportive.)

At work when I came out I talked to each person one on one, all those who ask questions whether they were accepting or not have all treated me fairly.
All those who did not ask any questions and said they didn't care what I did are now just pretending I don't exist.

Went to a 4th of July party were only the hosts knew I was Tranz, with about 15 couples no one seemed to notice, at one point in the conversation one of the gals called me a "lucky Bitch".

I look like a linebacker in drag but I have a natural higher pitched voice combined with a feminine personality once I interact with them I most often taken for a woman.

5. My entire family is supportive, my mother even gave me my new name.

6. Surgery Yes, SRS, I have a surgery date for next year, I am having facial surgery in Nov.

7. Everyone defines their transition differently, I use the date I started living and working full time as a woman, 8 months this Oct.

8. In for a penny in for a pound.

9. As a late life transitioner most family and spouse problems were a non issue for me.

10. My children's reaction was one of support and that is all I can ask for.

11. The first was online forums so you would know there were others like you.
To seek out local support groups, and then proper medical and mental care providers and developed personal contacts with others that have transitioned. As for resources, it is very hit or miss depending on we're you live, it will take effort for the newbe to know what to look and ask for.

My answers to these question are a general response and without a lot of explanation and details only apply to me and no one else so please don't read anything else into them.

Peggie Lee

[Rogina B]

And what is the "reporter" planning to do with all of this?

[Peggie Lee]

About 3 years ago my friend was stripped of all parental rights to see her youngest son by a Texas court, even though she had full custody here in California by her Ex becaused she transitioned. The Texas court even removed her name from the son's birth certificate. My friend is helping me thru my transition and asked me answer the list questions as she thought putting it down on paper was beneficial. Her story is online just google "a father named Jessica".

[Rianna Humble]

It is OK to answer these questions for fun, but answers from members here should not be passed on to the reporter for his/her research under any circumstances without the explicit permission of the administrators of crossdressers.com

Some members may find some of the questions offensive, so let's show a little sensitivity on both sides.

Any suggestion that this thread is getting out of hand will see it deleted with no further notice.

Rianna Humble
Moderator Transsexual Forums etc.

[Peggie Lee]

These question were asked of my friend for and article they was written for the good man project, she gave them to me to answer for myself and this how I would have answered. Please accept my apologies if this post was taken any other way.

[DebbieL]

These questions were poised by a reporter to a friend being interviewed.



1. When did you know you were not the sex you were born?

2. How do you define your sexual orientation?

3. Share some stories of issues you had with your personal image, your experience of being in the “wrong” body.

4. Describe three examples of interactions you had with your peers related to your gender identity.

5. How did or does your family accept you?

6. Do you want surgery? If so, which ones?

7. When did you start your transition? What choices are you making: personal appearance, hormones, surgery?

8. What level of change do you desire (or can you afford)? Full-time, part-time, body change . . .

9. If applicable, have you had any issues with divorce, custody of children? If so, explain.

10. If applicable, what were your children’s reactions?

11. What resources have you found the most useful?

Great questions, even if they do show some ignorance on the part of the reporter.

Here are my responses.

1 - even the hospital document said "Ballard Boy?" - there was question then.
- my mother observed that I wasn't like other boys by the time I was 2
- I played with girls mostly until I was 6 and one of the mothers insisted that I not be allowed to do so.
- Until then, I just WAS a girl, after that I wanted to be a girl.

2 - I find some men attractive and some women attractive - so I'm bisexual by nature.
- However, because of trauma associated with boys and men, I don't enjoy them sexually.
- I'm only sexual as female and only enjoy it with women - which makes me a lesbian.
- most of my lovers considered themselves bisexual, including my current wife who now enjoys being a lesbian.

3 - where do I start - I never "passed" as a boy or as a man. In grade school, boys called me a "Sissy"
- later they assumed that because I was effeminate, that I was gay - names like "Faggot", "Fairy", and "Queer" were frequent.
- The names were often associated with physical violence, often endorsed by teachers and administrators.
- I wanted to be a girl as young as 3 - wished, prayed, and even tried to find books on magic to make it happen.
- I had a tiny penis and no testes until I was 11. Once I had them, I tried to destroy them.
- I tried poaching, strangling, crushing, and even tried to get the doctor to surgically removed them when I had my vasectomy at 36.
- I still had a "teeny weeny peeny" even as an adult. Still not sure how I fathered two children - may not have been the sperm donor.
- when I found out I had a bass voice, I became very self-destructive, suicidal, turning to drugs and booze, getting guys to beat me up.

4 Three phases
A - as a kid, in the closet - the few kids who found out spread it quickly and the result was frequent violent attacks.
B - When I came out in my 30s I met men and women who supported me and helped me accept myself
- then I was offered a leadership role on the condition that I "Burn the Dress". A decision I regret today.
C - Today I've transitioned to the point where I couldn't pass as a guy, the 38-D breasts are a bit hard to hide. Everybody accepts me.

5 - My parents knew when I was 6. What I didn't know is that they found out that the "treatment" for people like me was shock treatments, torture, and lobotomy. The did the best they could to protect me by supporting me covertly. I learned to cook, clean, do laundry, iron, crochet, knit, and sew, as well as crafts. They would say "You'le make some lady doctor a wonderful wife" and I'd beam. Mom even took me shopping when we were the same size, so that I could help her pick out clothes - which I usually fished out of the good-will bag. She even got a wig which she almost never wore, and a pair of go-go boots she could barely get on, because they were my size. Mom did get upset at me for stealing her clothes, not because I was wearing her clothes, but because I was stealing. That was when she started putting things I could have into the "goodwill bag". She also knew where my stash was (between the mattress, bottom of my closet under a pile of coats).
When I was 33 and came out - wearing a short skirt, heels, and satin blouse, I think my father was more upset that I was dressed like a tramp. My mom wasn't surprised at all, my sister said "I always thought of you as the older sister I never had", and my brother said "Damn, you look hot!".
Just before my dad died, he said "If I can't give you anything else, I want you to be yourself, even if that means being Debbie". Later he told me he was so glad he got to meet his lovely oldest daughter. He died 2 days later.
Both of my children have known since 1992, and both love me. My grandkids love "Gamma Debbie".

6 - I'm filling out quite nicely - I'd love to get my voice raised, and have been discussing SRS with my wife. I'm so tiny it's not hard to hide.

7 - I started transition in 1988, and was about to start HRT in 1992 when I was forced to abort.
- Restarted transition in 2007 Facial hair in 2007, HRT in 2012, Full Time 2013, eligible for SRS 2015.

8 - I'm already living full time. I'd like to lose about 80 lbs. Breasts are up to 38-D or 40C but still a bit of gap in cleavage.
- In "Fantasy land" - I'd be 20 years old, have a hot sexy bod, and have as much money and income as I have now. - Next life maybe.

9 - I had to abort my transition in 1992 because after the divorce, my ex-wife wanted to revoke my visitation entirely but keep collecting half my after-tax income as child support paid to her and her sometimes abusive husband. My second wife knew before our first date, we met online and my profile included pictures of Rex and Debbie. When I started wanting to transition, Lee freaked out a bit. Seeing my gender therapist together has helped us communicate through the process and we love each other more than ever. She likes Debbie more than she liked Rex, so does everybody else.

10 - My son was told in an attempt to make him hate me, when he was 10 years old. He knew I wasn't macho and hairy like his step-dad, and he knew he loved me and I loved him. He told my daughter, who wasn't surprised at all. We got along really well.

11 - It was so hard to get ANY information until I was 18 and old enough to purchase adult liturature. There were no books available in the public library and even Christine Jorgensen's book was impossible to find. Penthouse Forum, Variations, and Sexology today included rare articles about cross-dressing and the desire to be feminine. Most such literature was also associated to female domination and/or B&D.
- I didn't actually meet other transgendered people until I met members of Tri-ESS. I eventually met an FtM and later a couple MtF transsexuals who were she-males. I was able to learn more about She-males, including some who had transitioned - through rented or purchased adult videos.
- I didn't find a qualified therapist until 1989, when my couples counselor told me that I was "Type 6 transsexual" - he was amazed that I hadn't killed myself before I was 30, since most of those as severe as me, that he had treated - who did not transition were dead by 30. I had actually tried so many times that it was impossible to keep track. I couldn't overdose because my body recovered too quickly. Even ground glass went through.
When I was referred to a specialist, I was diagnosed officially with "Battered Wife Syndrome" - and he started coaching me through transition from early public appearances to living 120 hours/week (all but work and commute) as female.
- The internet became one of the few reliable sources of information, and even this was hard to find. Many sites were a cross between porn sites and some real information - but there were no real scientific studies.
- My step-daughter gave me a Kindle and I found that there were dozens of books about transgender characters, as well as several autobiographies by cross-dressers who had decided not to transition, and transsexuals who had transitioned. Some were just erotica, but many had elements of truth, feelings with which I could identify. Books my Katie Leone and Karin Bishop were especially inspirational. Reading these, I realize that I had never been able to pass because so many of my physical attributes, mannerism,s and behaviors were biological and instinctive.
- I've also found several programs on Logo, Discovery, cable premium channels to be helpful as well
- for 15 years, I thought I was unique, a freak, a mistake of nature.
- When I met a drag queen and told him I wanted to be a girl too, he looked at me like I had 3 heads and asked me if I was crazy! No help at all.
- When I was 21, after a suicide attempt - I told a room full of therapists I wanted to be a girl - they wouldn't even let me talk about that.
I was forbidden to bring it up again. What i didn't know - is that procedure in such cases was lock-up in the state psychiatric hospital.