I need glasses but I also worry about dysphoria kicking up

[whowhatwhen]

My first eye test in 8 years revealed that I have issues with distance and so I have a light prescription for some glasses.

What I'm worried about is trying on women's frames and being upset by just about everything.
I'm still battling facial hair so It's kinda hard for me to want to look in a mirror let alone do in-depth analysis to pick something out.

Am I being worried for nothing?

[Trishpdxcd2]

Well try Zenni online. I just bought a new pair of glasses from them...very inexpensive and they have an area of th web site where you can load a picture of yourself and then try on glasses.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm not exactly sure what your issues r, 3W.

But, if you're nearsighted like I am? U can do what I do when I dress and go out. I wear contacts. I don't need glasses for reading yet.

[whowhatwhen]

Here's the thing.
I'd say a lot of my dysphoria and feeling like crap comes from insecurities about my face and now I'm being confronted with it head on.

I can see closely just fine so I'd need them when I go out, my anxieties are about how my male features might be when wearing women's glasses.

Well try Zenni online. I just bought a new pair of glasses from them...very inexpensive and they have an area of th web site where you can load a picture of yourself and then try on glasses.

I need to get a better picture to try them on, all mine are side profiles and there's only a few of those because reasons.

[Frances]

There are a lot of frames that suit men and women. I had "in-between" glasses for a long time. Even my current frames are not super-feminine.

[whowhatwhen]

I don't have a problem with the fact that they would be women's frames, I'm just worried about feeling like shit when I try them on and still see all those male cues.

You know, the more I type about this the more inane it seems lol.
This must be peak 1st world problems.

[LeaP]

Don't dismiss your own thoughts.

Frances is right - there are a lot of frames that work for men or women. My last few pairs were women's frames, not that it really made much difference. My current pair appears in the manufacturer's catalogs for both men and women. I also have a pair of women's frames that are a bit more feminine.

[Rachel Smith]

I went to wal-mart. After my exam I started looking at womens frames. The lady came over to me and said, the mens frames are over there and pointed to the other wall. I said I am aware but I wanted a pair of womens frames as I spent a lot of time dressed that way but that I didn't want a pair that screamed crossdresser at work. She smiled and said pick out a few that you like, bring them over to me and I will tell you if they scream or not, lol. Really she seamed more then happy to help.

[ArleneRaquel]

There are many uni - sex frames available. I prefer, for myself, the ulta female cat's eye style. This style I talk open on many posts at this, and other CD sites.

[PretzelGirl]

Definitely play with styles and see if anything works better for you. If you can, bring a sympathetic friend (or browse on line with one). When I got my last set, I needed distance and reading classes. Two sets is tough enough but four to have male and female designed frames is a lot. I split the difference and made my distance ones gender dependent and the reading glasses were female but not overly so. I was alone so I just grabbed the office manager and explained what was up and she smiled and gave me some great help. Not one person at work realized it. So I saved on one set anyway.

[DebbieL]

I hit the same dilemma.

I ended up going with a trusted friend who knew Debbie, shaved close, put on some foundation, and we went shopping together. When the optician pointed out that I was looking at women's classes, I say "Yes, they are really pretty, I'm just not sure which I like best - yet". He helped me pick a few pair that fit my face well, and would give me a good field for my Varilux lenses. My friend told me which one she liked best, and I took her advice.

So glad I did, because even though I wore them in boy mode as well as girl mode, it made it so much easier during transition. Nothing like a pair of glasses to minimize wrinkles and rings around your eyes. I still had to deal with facial hair. Waxing, laser, plucking, and electrolysis have helped immensely.

Sure, I wish my fairy godmother would waive the magic wand and I would instantly turn into Cinderella, 22 years old, hot sexy bod, beautiful face and hair that falls into place perfectly the second I get out of bed. What girl wouldn't wish for that? :-D

[whowhatwhen]

It looks like I was probably worrying too much, thanks all
I'm not sure who I can ask to get an honest opinion though, while my mom has made incredible bounds in acceptance of me and my transition I'm not sure she can handle this.

I've already decided that I'm getting neon green frames so there's always that to look forward to.

[Starling]

...I've already decided that I'm getting neon green frames so there's always that to look forward to...

Green neon! That ought to cure what ails you. Besides, you look great.

Lallie

[Aubrey lee]

As Trish said try zenni optical. Very cheap and so many options. I think the right glasses can help frame your face, bring out your eyes and make you look more feminine. Think positive and happy hunting!!

[Nicole Erin]

Glasses have a way of making someone look quite different. Almost like instant and reversible facial surgery.
Adding glasses of different styles can say "professional" or "sexy" or intellectual" or just whatever style one chooses.
For an extreme example, a good pair of sunglasses can make someone look like "Mr/Ms. Cool"

I have one friend who is TS and when she wears her glasses (women's of course) she looks twice as convincing as a woman.

I think you should be excited to get a decent set of frames. They won't hide all the male features you are worried about but they will hide quite a bit.

[whowhatwhen]

I realize that but then try those online glasses thingies and I'm like "uggghhhhh" and start picking at things.
For instance I just found out that I have a nasty case of resting bitch face.

[Launa]

Glasses are an accessory just like a good wig so go out en femme and try on some frames. It works great. You can ditch the bitch face by getting out more often. LOL

[Barbara Ella]

Like Rachel said, if you don't want to see your face wearing the glasses, you need not. BUT...you will have to find an SA who you feel comfortable with. You can pick out some frames, you can take them to her, and you can put them on and she can tell you what looks nice, and you trust her judgement. And not surprisingly, there are just a whole lot of people out there willing to help out.

I went to "All About Eyes" and there are others, that offer the two pair of single vision glasses and frames for something like $59.. I asked the SA where the women's frames were, she showed me, I picked several pair, she helped me select two. They do need to be put on and measured to fit your dimensions. The lady jumped in and was a tremendous help, and made some helpful comments. It was a great experience, and I love my femme frames.

Just be honest, explain what you want, and that you would rather not see them yourself, but would like some advice.

And remember, one's own worries are never unwarranted, they are your real feelings and are there for you to work through. I know that eventually you will.

Hugs,

Barbara

[Diane Lynn]

All of my doctors know me as both male and female. If I need glasses, Diane goes. If he needs glassess he goes. I do all the cooking, and shopping. I resently went to a dietitian, to help with menue's with diabetis. Her tactict was like a drill sargent. But, she got to me. I stopped using process foods, and cooking everything from scratch. I have lost 15 pounds in 2 months.

[Claire Cook]

I'm with Barbara and Diane on this. When I first approached my optician about getting femme glasses, it was a bit awkward. I found trying on female glasses in male mode with lots of folks in the store a bit daunting. But Janet was great, said "Let's try some playful ones" and I settled on my first pink pair. Of course later Claire had to show her how they looked. Since then I've found it's a lot like trying on women's clothes -- it's much better to do it as me. I can try on things (and glasses) to see how they really look on me. Since then Janet has become one of my closest GG friends. And of course has great advice about frames!