Help me learn cross dressing

[Zeldamoonflower]

Hey I'm looking for some help on learning how to cross dress could you give me a list of all the thing I'll need to learn.

[Candice Mae]

Theres not much to it, to start just get the opposite genders clothes and put them on. beyond that there is a huge learning curve on how to do things, but its not for everyone and theres no real wrong way to CD.

[Amanda L.]

Let your own desires to develop your female self lead the way. As Candice said there is no wrong way, you do what you feel comfortable doing.
Plenty of tips and tricks in other areas of this forum and YouTube

[DebbieL]

Zelda,

I assume that what you are really asking is how to present successfully - we call it being able to "pass".
Do you have any experience cross-dressing at home, in private?

Keep in mind that there are a substantial number of cross-dressers who limit their dressing to at home, in private, often when the family is away. Many of us started this way, some of us when we were very young.

Often, we start with a few simple items. Stockings or hose, underwear, a slip, simple things that feel feminine - since we aren't going out, we can feel girlie without having to go anywhere. Some people never get beyond this. Often they do it for sexual arousal, and once they've pleased themselves, they can't wait to get the clothes off.

Some of use want to be able to look in the mirror and see a pretty girl. We might by a skirt and a blouse or sweater, as well as a bra, and a pair of shoes. Often to fill out the bra, we will use a pair of socks, a pair of balloons filled with air or water, then bags or condoms full of rice, This is often when we start playing with make-up as well. This might be some foundation, lipstick and blush, adding to improve the illusion with experience. Often, we will get an inexpensive wig, sometimes at a halloween shop or beauty supply store for $15 to $40.

For those of us who want to think about passing in public, we often look at prosthetics. These can range from the "silicone bra" you'd find at wal-mart or other department stores to breasts prosthetics costing as much as $200/pair. Depending on what illusion you are going for, any of these might be suitable. We may also invest in a professional quality wig, costing $100 or more. A human hair wig custom blended to match our real hair can cost over $1,000 but it really isn't necessary for most of us.

Those who start to think about transition (many have been wishing for it for years) often see a therapist, who coaches them through progressive "Real Life Experience" steps. Often, a beginner will start with a drive, just a few blocks, some even stay in a hotel so the neighbors won't see. The assignments gradually move from relatively safe situations like a trip to a convenience store then to a Walgreens or CVS then to LGBT friendly clubs, then to other clubs, then restaurants until they are able to go for several hours through shopping centers, restaurants, and clubs without being "read" (when someone realizes you're not the woman you appear to be).

The therapist can also help you learn to handle those situations where you are read, so that the situation doesn't escalate into something unsafe.

If after a few months of Real Life Experience (RLE) you decide you really want to transition, your therapist will help you organize your life, by getting honest and authentic with the people in your life, this may include your parents, siblings, SO, and even your children. They will also help you assess your employment situation, helping you find out what your company's diversity policy is, and how you might want or need to declare yourself prior to transition at work. Many employers get EEOC and other employment credits in some states for having LGBT workers. In other cases, your therapist may need to help your plan relocation or job changes, even career changes.

If you make it that far, you will probably have gotten a lot more information about how to make your life work.

There are also forums that can help you with discussions with your wife or SO even if you decide that all you want to do is dress up in stockings and panties for an hour or so. Depending on how you are as a man, this might go better than you might think. If you are an "alpha male" and have acted a bit sexist, masculine, and made jokes about effeminate guys and gay men, then it probably won't go well. On the other hand, if you have had people tease you about being a bit feminine (especially your SO) and you have been good natured and even a bit pleased at the observations, you may find that your wife or SO has been chomping at the bit to play with your feminine side and may be afraid that you will be upset if she proposes it.

If she likes being "in charge of it" and you seem to be happy with that, you will probably find that she will also enjoy feminizing you.

Some simple first steps. Get a cloth tailors measuring tape, take your measurements around you hips, waist, and chest. Look up those measurements in a "Dress Size Chart". In general, you need to focus on the largest of the measurements. You should also measure the clothing to make sure that the item won't be too tight. Much easier to belt or blouse a loose item than try to stretch a tight one.

You should also think about where you'd ideally like to go with this. If I could wave my magic wand at you would be an average looking woman (not excessively beautiful, not ugly or obese), and I could change you back and forth as much as you wanted, how often would you change and for how long? If you think you might want to be changed into a girl and send me on my way, you should also look at the transsexual forum. if on the other hand, you would want to be changed into a girl for a few hours, and then changed back into a man, you should stick with the cross-dresser forums.

Even if you did want to be a girl for the rest of your life, it would take time, therapy, some money, and a lot of effort with no small amount of pain - but it is possible if you really wanted it.

You should fill out your profile, including your age, general location (country and state if US) and keep asking questions. You've entered the rabbit hole, but you are free to stay at any part you like.

[JayeLefaye]

Welcome to the forum, Zelda,

1. Take a deep breath and relax. By the time women are your age, they've had 19 years of experience, You can't make up for that in a few months.

2. Learn how to use the "search" function here, and then spend a lot of time reading and reading, and then reading some more and asking specific questions if you can't find any answers.

3. Do you have any thrift stores in your area? They are a crossdresser's paradise, where you can very affordably get the hang of picking things out and finding what works and what doesn't, and no one will bat an eye if you're in the ladies aisle.

4. Commit this phrase to memory and repeat it often: I'm not a freak, nor am I alone in this.

Looking forward to hearing more from you, and good luck!

Jaye

[Barati]

There is nothing to learn.

Just go to the shops and buy whatever you like.

[docrobbysherry]

This isn't like learning French. It's more like learning a new hobby. Buy some of the things u would like to wear. Try them on. After grimacing? Look carefully to try and see WHY u don't look good. Go buy new stuff. Try it on. Etc. Etc. Etc. Eventually, u will look in the mirror and smile! (Took me nearly 2 years).

Thrift stores can save u lots of $$ until u work out what u like and looks good on u.

[Adriana Moretti]

Here is a good one.........enjoy the ride....it will go up, it will go down..you will make mistakes, you will learn, and you will improve. Pretty soon I am going to show my very first attempts at full makeup after my 7 year purge ( I recently found some older pics) ...they are hillarious to look at now. This is supposed to be fun...so dont overthink it. It's also ok to laugh at yourself once in a while. xoxo good luck

[Beverley Sims]

Cross dressing is a suck it and see past time.
Full of experimentation by trying on different clothing, makeup and asking specific questions will help you immensley.

Just saying help me to cross dress is not really a valid request.

Go away, read what others have said, and if you find cross dressing a boring subject, find some other past time to entertain yourself.

[Seana Summer]

Other have said it well. There is no right way, only the way that satisfies your need or desire. Be Yourself!!

If you are looking to "pass" you are lucky to be so young as it gets harder as you age. Get a cheap digital camera (you can use your phone but be carful about sharing pics) and take photos of yourself to study. It is easier for most of us to see what we are doing wrong when we can really take a good look at ourselves. Also study the photos of some of the members here and on Flickr and learn from them. Not only what others do well but also what gives them away

[Sheelah]

Where are you?
You should maybe get together with someone who has had more experience or practice…another crossdresser or even a GG (genetic Girl) and have them help you.
If you are near me, I would be thrilled to help you!
XO
Sheelah

[Stephanie Julianna]

Watch the experts. Women. Find some that are built liky and if you like what they are wearing buyit, and wear it. Eventually you'll find out what looks good on you and also what you like.

[suchacutie]

Welcome. I found this forum within 48 hours of the first time I had been crossdressed (as minimal as that time was). I found the opinions and data and experiences here invaluable in obtaining perspectives and ideas. Having said that, there is nothing better than having a mentor who is a GG, IMO. For me, my wife literally taught Tina to be able to express herself. A lot of topics I brought up with her were gained here and by watching the professionals we are trying to follow: women.

Above all, have fun!

[flatlander_48]

Remember that you are opening a door to things that have likely been suppressed, ignored or avoided for a long time. It is allowing this Other part of us to come to the fore; not necessarily as the main part (although that does happen for some) but perhaps it is a part that rounds out the whole.

It is unnecessary to over think this or to over analyze this. It is what it is...

Welcome Z!

[CherylFlint]

1. Get fitted for a wig by a professional but don’t spend more than $100.
2. Get fitted for the proper size and shape mastectomy pads by a professional fitter. Figure $300 for the pair of pads and around $40 for a mastectomy bra.
3. Go to thrift stores and consignment shops. Goodwill and Salvation Army thrift stores often have 2 for 1 sales.
4. Get a professional makeover.
5. You’ll need a GG to tell you what you’re doing wrong. For me, at first, I’d stop by the bra-fitter and she offer suggestions. Now it’s my wife who does the final check-list.
6. Important Rule #1: stay safe and have fun.
That’s it!
Good luck.

[Kate Simmons]

There is a plethora of information on this Forum. If that's not enough, simply google "how to crossdress" and see what you will find. I've found over the years that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him (or her) drink. The desire has to reside within the individual who is the one that has to bring it to fruition.

[NicoleScott]

"Crossdressing for Dummies"
"Everything You Wanted to Know About Crossdressing But Were Afraid to Ask"
To my knowledge, these books don't exist, and for good reason: there isn't one right path to crossdressing.
It's very simple: buy and wear the one thing that compels you the strongest. Repeat.
Before long, you'll have everything you'll ever need. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

One important point: you can't be properly advised if your advisers don't know your CDing objective(s). Not everyone dresses to blend/pass.

[Krisi]

Are you asking someone to write a book for you?

There are thousands of posts on this forum, many dealing with the "how to" aspect of crossdressing. There are also some different opinions on the definition of crossdressing.

Get your self a cup of coffee or your favorite adult beverage and sit back and read. Take photos of yourself and compare them to actual women. After a while you will catch on.

[Henriette7]

Hi

I think that you already have got a lot of answers on this one, but you could look at http://feminizationsecrets.com Lucille have a lot of help to TGirls and Crossdressers. Hope it helps. :-)

hugs
Henriette

[Tina B.]

Try a few tutorials on Utube, just put in make up, or crossdressing, or Transgender, or transvestite. Any of that should take you to a bunch of videos.
As far as how to, look for women your age, and see what they are wearing. At seventy I've got a feeling your style would not be like mine, but there are women in your town that know how, they are the ones that catch a guys eye, go to the mall sit down on a bench, and watch the people go by, window shop until you see clothes that make you go, OH Yeah, then run in and buy them!

[Zeldamoonflower]

Thanks for the advice.

Thanks this is really helpful.

[lexivanderpump]

Zelda sweetie,
Help you learn crossdressing?
Crossdressing itself is not learned in my opinion. You either "got it or you don't". Nobody "taught" me how to CD. I found a pair of my sisters panties as a young boy and put them on. And I just gained my own experience from there. If you are asking for "tips" on makeup or dressing up than that is a different story.

Love,
Lexi V.

[Tiffany Jane]

Zelda, welcome and if your age is correct, welocme to yourself. Crossdressing is an expression of fears, curiousity, self awareness, sensuality, psyche, and every other thought that lies in your subconscience. It is a journey that many of us have taken, not really sure why we started to begin with but knew it fulfilled an emotional need or allowed a sense of completion of being.

It is difficult to give direction to someone looking to find themselves through a vaguely broad path as crossdressing. It isn't like riding a bike or learning something new. It is going to develop as you progress in your sense of who you are and who or how you want to present yourself as. Reading will be our best course and safely experimenting with the outlets you feel may complete the direction you are trying to find yourself.

Be ready to answer very personal questions about yourself. They will come through during the process. Why am I doing this? If I enjoy this and others feel it is wrong, how will I respond? Will I be able to answer questions to a SO who finds out about this or be able to be up front with a prospective SO or family? Among many other questions that have been addressed on this forum.

Most important, you are among a wide group of people within this forum. You have at your time and fingertips years of knowledge, opinions, and life stories to read and discover as you are coming into your new life, breaking out of your cocoon that life and society may have encapsulated you in, to realize a wide range of emotions, feelings, and desires have developed.

Good luck it is a journey that will not come with an easy answer or guide but you'll learn more about yourself than you may care to know at this point.

[AKADonna]

Zelda, I think that Tiffany summed it up pretty well. Just take your time, experiment, ask lots of questions here and enjoy the little experiences along the way!