So, here's my dilemma... I'm 38, & probably been crossdressing since I was 7 or 8... I've always felt more of a kinship or sisterhood with girls, I always identified with female role models, & always had the desire to dress female & take the "traditional" female role (for lack of a better way to explain myself).
I've had feelings in the past that my body was the wrong gender, but was terrified of realizing it.
I recently started dressing again, I'm getting those feelings again, but now I know that I must realize who I was truly meant to be. My problem is two fold, & I know many of you have gone through both.
My SO is not a fan of my dressing. When I came out to her, she nearly crumbled, she tried to be supportive but found she couldn't. She directly asked if I wanted to live as a woman & at the time I said no... She kinda backed me into a corner & felt scared to be truthful...
I shared this part of me with her because she always loved drag queen shows, & watches rupaul's show regularly & is always talking about the girls on it & how great they look...
I know you'll all tell me to be honest with her, & have the difficult conversation, but I'm afraid...
My second problem is in regards to actually transitioning, is talking to a counsellor the best place to start? I've done a little research near where I live, & it seems that most counsellors don't take insurance for privacy reasons... I'll go broke if I pay out of pocket.. & she handles the finances, so I couldn't hide it...
How did you all know that there was no way to continue living as the wrong gender. Pretty much every day now I'm feeling that being a male is just wrong for me...
Am I just stuck in a pink fog?
Just hoping for some feedback from some of you who are wiser then I.. I'm lost & scared....