I am really into roleplaying games played on a tabletop with paper, pens, and dice. The classic example is Dungeons and Dragons, but the hobby has expanded greatly since the 70s and now there are all kinds of games from sci fi to paranormal romance. Each year I attend several conventions where hundreds of gamers get together and play registered games throughout the hotel, mostly in private rooms, but sometimes in larger rooms with multiple tables set up.
This last weekend was Big Bad Con, which is actually a cool little con with about 400 people, focused more on independent and story-emphasizing games over mainstream, combat-heavy games. One of the major events is the Big Bad GM (Game Master) competition, where 4 GMs each get 4 players and 3 ingredients (genre, setting, antagonist) and 4 hours to create and run a complete game from scratch. I competed last year and narrowly lost.
This year, I went as my true self, for the entire convention. This meant interacting with dozens and dozens of people, some of whom I've known for years. It meant sitting as a table as a player with half a dozen people for 4-6 hours at a time. It meant running games for such a group as the GM (facilitator), as a trans woman.
I was so afraid. I can't exactly explain why I felt the need to go and do this. Well, I know why. Because I am a woman and a gamer and a rocker. This is what I do.
Oh, and also, I won the competition. Bry Hitchcock, trans woman, is the Big Bad GM for 2014! This meant showing up at 9 am to a room with 30 people. It was nerve wracking, but ok. Everyone was cool!
Everywhere I went, I found nothing but acceptance. There were even a few other trans people there, among them, the game designer Avery McDaldno, whose game Monsterhearts is a huge hit.
On Friday night, I played in a heavy metal themed game. I went in my metal t-shirt, fashionably chopped up to a more feminine style, a long goth skirt, my wig, and makeup. I talked with the GM ahead of time and he was totally cool. Everyone at the table treated me like the middle-aged rocking gamer lady I really am.
I know the rest of the world will not necessarily welcome me so well, but this was a truly amazing experience. I was so afraid, but the community reaction surpassed my expectations. I have way more friends and contacts in social media than I had before. Everyone was very encouraging. I am so glad to live in the California Bay Area and be part of such a creative, open minded community of people.
It was more than a little rash to do this. There are pictures now on the internet of me en femme. But you know what? I don't care. I am not connected to work via social media. My wife accepts me. The friends and community I love accepts me. The rest I will work on another day.
Thank you to all who have given me advice and encouragement here. This road would be much harder without the wisdom of this community, even if I choose to go do crazy stuff.
Hugs!
Bry