Right after my first divorce, I was 29 yrs old, once I had the run of the house again and it was all over. I started shopping and dressing, I looked in the mirror and thought, " how am I ever going to make this work? " been at it ever since...
Right after my first divorce, I was 29 yrs old, once I had the run of the house again and it was all over. I started shopping and dressing, I looked in the mirror and thought, " how am I ever going to make this work? " been at it ever since...
A long long long time ago. I had a girlfriend and she told me "stop that it isn't normal". I tried but eventually succumbed to the thrill of pantyhose. All the times I have tried to stop and failed just made me miserable. Now I just accept it and move on...
It took me four purges over the course of about 30 years before I accepted the fact that I am destined to dress for the rest of my life. Once I came to that realization, life has been much happier.
For me I felt the need to crossdress when I was 14. I was too afraid to. It wasn't that I was 29 that I realized it's not going away. I also bottled up all my emotions as well. I feel so much better for coming out. Talking to and hanging out with other like minded individuals.
Cding has been a very recent awareness for this old fart. I dressed when hit with the perfect storm: serious family sickness, threat of losing my job & other stressors. I realized that I was & forever will be a Crossdresser when I dressed earlier this year & an incredible sensation of inner peace took over my body. That sensation only continues to grow... and I love that feeling. More men need to shed their stressors by cding. In my opinion, there is no better drug or therapy on this planet .
I am still realizing it will not go away...guess it's just where I am at. But then again, I really don't want it to go away as it's part of me.
I have had crossdressing inclinations all my life -- certainly from well before age 5 -- and often added androgynous touches to my appearance even as a child (heels, earrings, lipstick, polished nails, etc.). But something finally "clicked" in the summer of 1997, when I was 40, and I realized this was for life, I was going to be more open about it, and any future partners were going to know about it from the beginning. Since then, I've been out more and more often, have standing appointments for hair and nails, shop openly, have made a few permanent changes in my appearance, and have probably quadrupled the size of my wardrobe. It was a very sudden thing -- I was on vacation in Arizona and almost literally woke up one morning determined to go shopping and get a set of acrylic nails (which I've kept up ever since). I don't know exactly what caused it, but it felt right, and has influenced my life's direction ever since.
- Diane
Having purged so many times I can't count, from a handful of items to two big bins,
I know now it is here to stay. Committed to not purge even if I stop which I doubt will happen
soon as I dress some each day. Each must find their own balance.
It's never gone, and never will. I'm a woman, this is something I know to be true. Always and forever.
For my entire life, I always knew it was there. I never really accepted it, but knew it was something I enjoyed.
A year ago, I finally accepted this part of me and came out to myself and to my wife. I now know that this is who I am and it is a big and important part of me. It has been an amazing year and I have never been happier or more at peace with myself.
I could now never imagine supressing it.
As much as I would repress it during much of my life (see previous post) deep down I knew it was part of me. Accepting (and embracing) that fact has made a big difference in my life.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
After 30 years of trying to get it out of my system with purges, avoidance, and marriage I finally accepted that this would not go away on my very first visit to a Psychiatrist. My wife insisted that I go after she found my stash (that was the last purge, though an involuntary one). Now I wish I had told her 25 years before and gone to counseling then.
Great and relevant question.
When I got married in my twenties, I thought I would stop.
When I hit 30, I thought I would stop at 40.
When I hit 40, I thought I would stop at 50.
When I hit 50....well, seems less and less likely that I'll ever stop.
In fact, cross dressing only seems to be getting better and better and better!
Hi Adz
lovely to see you putting up a post and a very good to boot.
I thought it had gone away after about age 13/14. Life became normal, according to social parameters and there was no thought of frocking up. Every now and then there would be a funny sensation stimulated by a picture or touch of a fabric or even a spoken word that would trigger the recesses of my mind but I pushed it down.
So life continued. Got married, had 2 boys (great fellas), built a career, got a mortgage, variety of cars, occasional fetish behaviour etc,etc
Then 2 years ago the pressure created from keeping this side of me bottled up exploded. I had this massive uncontrollable urge to dress up. So I did , in my wife's clothes. Apart from the feeling of shame I knew that this was something that was always in me. I still thought it would go away but was wrong. My girl was out and she wanted to flex her stockinged legs.
When my wife left (for work purposes) I was left to live on my own. So the shopping online started and the realisation hit that this is something I do for me and I need to do it.
Full acceptance I don't think happened until about 8 months ago. I am comfortable with my femininity and despite some steep climbs and rapid drop offs I am loving every twist and turn of this rollercoaster ride.
If a cure was released tomorrow I doubt I would take it. This is so much fun and ultra enjoyable
Luv
Amanda
xx
I've had the urge to dress since I was around 7. On and off I've thought about it and repressed it until I couldn't keep it in . A few months ago (I'm now 31) I snapped and had to let it out and come to the realisation that this is a part of who I am and I have to embrace the Amy who is so excited to be out in the open.
I'm apparently also kind of a slow learner. I only realized these feelings weren't going away last year, in 2013, at the age of 49. I felt like this was an addiction of some type - that I only felt OK when presenting as a woman. It took me a couple of months to realize the truth - that I was, and always had been, a woman, that I was powerless over my gender, and that death was preferable to continuing to live a lie. I started my transition a few months later.
It took me until I was in the middle of my marriage, when the desire to crossdress came back with a vengeance. I had spent about the previous eight years without crossdressing. As stress mounted in my life, so did the desire to crossdress. At first, I thought it was a defense mechanism by which I was avoiding feeling stress about everything else; but I later discovered that the desire to crossdress is simply there all the time, and stress over other things simply overwhelmed my ability to suppress the desire to crossdress along with all the other problems I had to deal with.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
For me it comes and goes. I'll dress for a week straight then not dress for a month. Excluding panties of course. Lol
probably 1996, when we got our first computer, then I realised that I wasnt the only hard working, redneck, country boywho wears ladies clothes!!
Last year when I ordered my first sweater dress, pantyhose and heels. Reading a number of books and doing some online research about other dressers was incredibly helpful, and helped me realize I too am a member of the club. It's nothing to be ashamed of really, but something that few people really understand so I also decided to keep it just to myself and other girlfriends. Now that I've gotten to know my inner lady, I know it's something I will always do and it's a wonderful feeling.
I took only a few nanoseconds that first time I was dressed (age 55) to realize that Tina had always been with me. A couple of seconds later it was just as clear that not only was she never leaving, but that it would make no sense for her to leave since I would have to change my personality for her to leave!
How her presence will be manifest in the future can never be predicted. Will she present herself more or less? Not a clue.
But even if I were never to transform into her presentation again, she would still be a part of me.
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