Think back to your childhood if you will...

[Rogina B]

Did you have a hard time with yourself on "picture day" at school? Not because you saw yourself ugly,but because "it just didn't feel right"..Perhaps subconsciously, you felt the documentation of your gender was wrong. Perhaps that held with you for years.. I know that I had a real hard time with school pics while the other boys enjoyed themselves. Sure I was jealous of the girls as I had already started my exploration of femininity by school age. However,it was something about being "documented as a boy" that may have been the cause of my unrest[and protests] of school pictures. Anyone else have a "bad day" on picture day?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

yep...I sure did.. altho I admit I was an expert at taking those hell nuggets and burying them in the back yard...
when I look back at my smiling first grade or 4th grade face it makes me sad

I wonder if its any worse than the hell my daughter has gone through on her picture day!!!!!

[heather ann martin]

I've always known I was a girl from day one, or as long as I can remember. I know it's an old cliché but it seems to suit me. I am male by birth but female by choice.

[Confucius]

I remember that very early in my childhood I thought that I ruined every photograph. I would look at myself in a mirror and think that I looked unfamiliar, odd, and not at all like how I feel. I had a very low self esteem, and wished I could be anyone other than myself.

My poor self image goes back to my earliest memories. My mother wanted a daughter when she was pregnant with me. I mean she really, really, wanted a daughter, so when I was born I was a disappointment. Six months later she found herself pregnant again, and once again she was hoping for a daughter. Then on Christmas morning my sister was born, and that was the happiest day of my mother's life. My sister was my mother's little princess, pampered and treasured. My mother would tell me these stories and how I was a clingy, demanding baby, and how I always wanted to be carried. She had to carry a baby in each arm!

I grew up thinking that all parents prefer daughters, and that girls were valued more because they were sweeter, smarter, prettier, more virtuous, and just better people. I grew up noticing that the females in my life were better people, better role models, than the males in my family. By the time I was 3-4 years old I started raiding my mother's closet to play dress-up. I remember telling my mother that I was playing "mommy". She did not approve of my behavior because I was ruining her good clothes. I tried dressing in my sister's clothes a couple times, and this brought me ridicule, and a sort of aversion therapy. So I suppressed my desire to make myself into a female, and I accepted being a boy, although I understood it meant I was less of a person. Even when I was six years old I was attracted to the girls in my class. I thought I was in love with several of girls at the time.

Once I hit puberty my desire to dress as a female returned, and at that time it became a sexual experience. It seems my brain was hard-wired to interpret crossdressing as actual contact with a female.

[Cheryl T]

A hard time? That's being kind. A jacket and tie with the mandatory white shirt while all around me the girls had these lovely dresses and the cutest shoes. YES!!! I had a hard time on picture day, and Easter Sunday, and Christmas and every other day when the girls got to dress up and I was stuck in a suit.

[Rogina B]

Cheryl,Do you believe,or anyone else believe it was something deeper? Getting your gender documented when perhaps you were unsure yourself,inside..

[cdterri]

I'm with CHERYL T on this one

[Annaliese]

I have never like my picture taken even back then, and yes though of my self as ugly, still do, except in girl mode, love to take picture in girl mode

[BillieJoEllen]

I never thought I took a good picture. I didn't think I came across as a boy in my school pics and always wished that I could enhance my looks somehow. I always really wished I could be a girl especially on 'picture day' because girls had a myriad of ways to enhance their looks.

[Teresa]

Rogina,

I have two pictures which I have always liked one is from the set used for my avatar and the other is a school picture taken of me at twelve years old !
My wife always complains that I take a good picture ! It's only because I have a stupid grin on my face ! I guess from my photgraphy experience to get a decent picture stand correctly look directly at the camera and smile ! Shy people often complain that they never have a good picture, usually they stand as if they're trying to hide behind something and look away from the camera ! In other words you have to own the picture !

[Caryn Lynn]

I never liked "picture day" at school or any other pictures that were take of me even now.
My father was very strict and in every picture taken through elementary school I had a crew-cut and wore some very drab boys shirt. Something still to this day is his style. When i look at those pictures i still cringe when i see them.
I 100% agree with Cheryl that it was the same for every formal picture, Holiday, Birthday, Ect. I so envied all the girls and their pretty outfits while being stuck in something i couldn't wait to get out of.

[Kate Simmons]

Nah. I was too busy being a "tomboy" to worry about it Rogina.

[Madilyn A.]

I never minded having my photo taken in school, never thought about the gender thing as such back then. I do recall however, thinking how extra pretty many of the girls were and I wished I could be extra pretty like them.....Not Fair !

[Marleena]

I always hated having my picture taken. I know why now.

[mandm40c]

I hated having mine taken as well. Something never felt right about my look, I also know why now.

[kimdl93]

Back when I was a child Whistler was still painting his mother and photos were printed from glass plate negatives....well not quite. Honestly, I didn't think very clearly in terms of right or wrong gender so much as just a persistent sense that something was wrong with me.

[Beverley Sims]

Rogina, I was concious of being a 98lb weakling.
Also a severe inferiority complex.
I lost this when I started to successfully dress and go out with my girlfriends.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

I never smiled in any childhood pictures now maybe I know why?

[Rogina B]

Perhaps "picture day" could be used by school faculty to discover those students in need!!

[Launa]

Never had a hard time with picture days.... We'd just spark up a reefer and get through them. LOL

[Lynn Marie]

In lots of ways I was a pretty successful kid and later a successful adult even though I could really be a screw up at times. I've been very fortunate also in that my screw ups never seemed to harm my career or life. So pictures were no big deal, and I've never felt I was in the wrong body at all. I just like playing dress up!

[Georgina]

Never bothered me. I liked being a boy and I liked girl's clothes.