I absolutely agree here. Jenna, it sounds like your wife has some serious preconceptions of what crossdressing is, and the problem with a lot of people who have already "made up their minds" is that it's almost impossible to get them to change - even a little. Some people grow up with the socialization that crossdressing is evil, and you can argue until you're blue in the face and present all the facts you want ("I have broken NO laws") and it won't make a bit of difference to people who are prejudiced.
This won't end well for you and your wife, because you must know by now (all the purges, yes I did that too) that you cannot change - this is a part of you, and you can go on trying to deny it like we see others on this site do from time to time, or you can accept that is is a part of you and embrace it. I also tried denying it for a couple of years, it almost destroyed me.
You're going to hate yourself if you keep denying who you really are, she's going to hate you for doing it.
The difference is YOU are the one person you cannot get away from.
So will you continue to hurt yourself? That's what it will come down to. I'm not going to try to sugar coat it one bit either.
Break away quickly. It is much kinder than drawing this out.
~Melissa