i was thinking a similar thought the other day on a long drive.....and i came to the conclusion ( for me anyway) that i just enjoy makeup, and girls clothes, it just seems to fit better there is no difference in me at all girl or guy mode....except for the clothes and the makeup....
other than that it's the same....i watch football in a skirt, and watch makeup videos in guy mode....
no difference at all on the inside...
just the outside ...
im a tomboy anyway.
My "normal natural self" is a male heterosexual crossdresser. I am always my normal natural self. As a crossdresser, I like to dress as a female part of the time. It's like an actor playing a part.
I regard the "real me" as female. I've always felt like this for as long as I can remember. This feeling have never diminished over the years and I know it never will.
Hi Carla,
Well I don't consider myself anything but real. I am a combination of identities I take on during the course of my day/life to interact with those around me. For example at work I am military me (officer, soldier, leader, subordinate) but below that is still me. Isha is the same, I take on mantel of Isha when I need to and she interacts with those around her in the appropriate manner but below the presentation is still me.
Hugs
Isha
The stress relieved by crossdressing is caused by not crossdressing. The stressful part is having to present myself to the world as a standard issue male; all day long, constantly on guard to avoid doing, saying or appearing in any way female. Living, dressing and behaving as a normal male is like playing a part in a play, and having to act a part all day every day is exhausting. I spent so much of my childhood cautiously watching and learning how to be a girl, and being told that I was a girl, that it 'stuck'. So most of the time; I'm a girl, crossdressing as a guy. Weird, huh!
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I deal with stress by removing or compartmentalizing the stress. I don't subject Tina to stress, and maybe that's a small part of the joy of being Tina as I've dealt with the stress beforehand.
Tina is definitely not like my male self. That's the very point that made us aware that Tina existed. She's very real and it's fascinating to discover who she is. We like her! We enjoy her! But she's just a (large) part of the sum of who I am. Complex, but wonderful.
While there is only on me, it feels more natural as female. When I look in the mirror when I am in male mode, it doesn't look right. When in Erin mode it looks exactly as it should. But underlying values, abilities etc don't change. That is me regardless. Just the physical is out of sync. This is a simple, yet complex question at the same time.
Seize the day. Life is short, and you're dead a long time...just sayin' ...
So, is running to the closet for some stress relief about becoming the real person that they are???
No. Absolutely NO!!!
Think about this. A person with a diaper fetish runs to the closet for some stress relief. The Furries also run to the closet for their stress relief too. Would you tell a Furrie that that is his real self?
Where you run for some stress relief isn't about discovering your real self. It's just your outlet for stress relief and nothing more. You are always your real self independent of what you are wearing
i always feel the real me is the person i have been all my life, a man with a hidden feminine side. this is still the case when i am dressed. perhaps one day i will feel differently.. who knows?
as for stress relief, i don't know, lately i'm very stressed about getting my makeup and presentation better, that's a little stressful to me..
raher than stress relief, the reason i dress is more about some compulsion, to let the feminine me come forward... (eek that sounds a little like dissociative identity disorder...)
I sometimes forget what I'm wearing and have to check before I decide to leave the house. Just before that happens, that is the real me. No stress induced decisions, no expectations, just comfortable being who I am. Sometimes I discover I'm wearing a skirt and I'd better change because the places I want to go or people I'm going to see don't know about my crossdressing. Sometimes I'm able to leave right then, either crossdressed or dressed for my gender norm.
What do the clothes, makeup, forms, shoes and accessories do to/for my personality? I'm still trying to figure that one out, but it must be feeding something of value because I keep going back. Is it something that I can't attain while dressed for my assigned gender? That is quite possible, even probable but like I said, I'm not sure exactly what it is just yet. I'll be sure to let everyone know if I ever figure it out.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Not at all. It's about several things, but a big one is about being pretty. It turns me on. Another is that it is part of me, but not all of me.
Also, although less so these days, it's still a little dangerous to do in public.
Remember that this site is called Crossdressers.com not transitioners.com
In my case, it was the real me. Seeing myself fully dressed, in a wig and forms, was a life changing event for me. Realizing that the only times I felt normal was when presenting as a woman, and that the guy was a mask - a protective shell I built to keep myself safe. The dude disguise worked for a lot of years, but in the end, it was literally killing me.
That's why I started my transition. Pretending to be a man was no longer survivable for me.
Turns out, though, there's a lot more to the real me than I ever admitted to myself before.
Breaking through the denial that helped me keep that mask of maleness in place, and dealing with the chaos that ensued in my life have been the hardest things I've ever dealt with.
Last edited by PaulaQ; 10-27-2014 at 04:07 PM.
Carla,
I really don't know, I have been mulling over this question since you posted it and I still have no answer.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Hi Carla, For me it's just who I am and it's just what I do.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Katey888 say's it best, dressing is escapism and contributes to the calm and collected feeling. Bravo.
It's me - no matter what mode I am in, though the feminine mode seems more natural. For me, the stress relief comes from being able to be myself, and not having to pretend I am someone else during the day, similar to Sometime's comment below. I did plan to transition in college at age 10, but ultimately decided not to, so maybe the real me answer more relates to where I am on the spectrum
My wife said I look really happy sitting in my Women's clothes, still adjusting in my head
Who I am is not what I wear, it just makes me look and feel better.
I really can't explain it, other than to go into a fantasy for a while, and then leave it for a while, until later.
As the years have gone by i have looked at this as many different things .Right now i just say it is my hobby. Like owning a boat or cottage it can be very relaxing and it can drive you crazy with the amount of money work and emotions you have to put into it .In the end i still like it go figure
I have a hubcap diamond star halo
Well, for me.. I always thought that what it is like to be a girl.. I mean let see what all the fuss is about.. Haha... And to be fair I some time thought that can a girl see her feet through breasts?? Haha... So I put on clothes and guess what... Usually you don't see feet... Lolzzz
But I felt awesome in girly clothes so I started...
Interesting assortment of answers. And frankly, think it fits in with the sliding scale example. For me, its not a stress relief, its who i am. When i get dolled up, i know am still male but my i can now be feminine - thats the real me, a feminine male (notice i didn't say "man")
For me it's not about stress relief, I don't really have much stress in my life. I'm retired, have a nice retirement, enough of what we need to keep us happy.
But while I agree, I'm just me no matter what gender I am presenting as, some day's I just feel better presenting as a female, it has no profound effect on my personality, or how I spend my time here at home, but the dress, wig and make up just feel like me on some days, other days, I prefer a pair of jeans, and a flannel shirt, and some good fun grubby work outside and just do guy stuff.
It took years to get me where I am now, but if the weather is bad and I'm staying in, I'll dress, if the weather is nice, I'm going out and do guy stuff, and I never fret about which day it's going to be, because I get plenty of time for both.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
In a word, Yes! This is who I feel I was truly meant to be.
Maybe I'm pretending to be the person I am not. I had a stressful job for over thirty years, which was very adversarial with the people I met. Nothing relaxing at all with that day after day. Throw in a little PTSD from combat experiences and one really needs someplace to hide. Drugs? Alcohol? Women? No, pretending to be a woman of the 1950's and 1960's allows me to avoid all that. So, all dolled up in a pretty dress, hosiery, heels and wig, while doing all sorts of domestic chores lets me escape reality. Of course, I could do all those domestic chores dressed as my male self, but, then I'd probably wouldn't readily accept those assignments.
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