I have been through times in my life where it has been all-consuming. But I've come closer to finding a healthy balance, since it's just not realistic for me to dress daily or even once a week for that matter. One strategy I have is to dress for bed each and every night...that gives me a "fix" and leaves me clear and refreshed when my man-life comes calling...
If I didn't have other hobbies other then crossdressing it probably would consume me and I would more then likely be living it full-time. As to another post by a member here they mention not missing guy clothes as a woman they can wear guy clothes and nothing is said about it. It is a fashion statement, but as guys when we wear woman's clothes there is something wrong with us.
You said when you're "not occupied", so I would hope that you don't let your thoughts about crossdressing interfere with a normal life and fulfilling your responsibilities at work and home. If this is true, then it's not all-consuming, and that's good.
As one who has spent plenty of time in the pink fog, I know that sometimes it's a struggle to NOT think about it all the time. One of the things that I do is to plan, in detail, for my next dressup session, making sure I have what I need, making lists of things I need to do or buy. When the opportunity to dress comes around, I'm ready. That seems to reduce/relieve the need to obsess over it.
I have a lot of time to think about it throughout the day as I drive 500 miles a day. My mind is constantly racing between different thoughts, but I will bet at least half the time is in a pink fog. I sleep in nighties most nights just to calm the edge.
It can be all consuming but I agree with others here about striking a balance. That is something I am working on myself. I have the opportunity to dress 3 or 4 times a week now and have been immersed in a pink fog of late.
Any activity can become all consuming. Last night I was on the computer checking the prices on books. I had to step away from the computer to go potty. My wife sat down and began playing a game of solitaire while waiting for the dryer to stop. She continuously plays solitaire. It interferes with our interaction. My granddaughter (14) wishes there was no computer in her house because my son ignores his family for hours and hours playing games. Of course, when we have son and his family and my daughter and her husband over, they all keep checking their cell phones for messages, surfing the Internet, etc.
Before I was able to schedule "therapy days" off from work when I could be alone for six hours, I really felt anxiety because I could not dress. I ended up feeding my pent up desires by eBaying and buying lingerie and slips. When I retired and my wife is still working I have a lot of time for being en femme. The first several months after retiring I spent too much time being en femme. I fell behind in my chores. Finally I had my fill. Now, I dress when I feel like some leisure Stephanie time. Some days I am on this site fully en femme. Other times, such as now, I am fully in guy mode- unshaven, jeans, etc.
If you're brain is stuck on cross dressing all the time, it sounds as if you do not have any hobbies, don't read books, etc. If you have any hobbies and like to read, etc, then your mind will also mull over those activities. Balance. Broaden your activities.
KK, it does seem that the more we are denied, the more attention we force onto getting what we are denied. Getting it (dressing) seems to command every minute of attention until I get it, and then it is a binge party- totally consuming. Looking back over the years, I want to say that this side of me has without a doubt brought me much pleasure-mentally and physically, and much pain- I have wasted a lot of time in a non productive selfish pursuit- and I mean that in a kind way. I wish, looking back that I could have reconcilled my life and lived one life, rather than two -with this one being constantly churning under the surface- yes - CONSUMING. I hoe you find a way to balance on the wire and not be consumed, but be at peace.
It would all be so simple if we could live our insides on the outside
I think of my crossdressing constantly. Its always seeping into my mind in some form or another. About the only time I don't think about it is when I'm actually crossdressed. In my earlier years when I was in school it was a constant struggle to study, pay attention and get things done. That carried over when I finally became employed. Being in the service was hell on earth because of it.
I love my job and I am very grateful to have it. But when I was semi-retired (not totally voluntarily) I had more time for dressing and other interests. And I really miss that. Being able to stay dressed for a whole day was just wonderful. And I do find myself thinking about that during the day.
I wouldn't say that it's all consuming, but the desire is always there, lurking in the back of my mind, waiting for a chance to express itself. And the more things that stress me out, the less I am able to suppress the desire to crossdress.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I think of it constantly, but because I'm renting a room from a friend so my dressing has dwindled greatly. I miss being able to stay dressed all day and night. I really miss being able to put on make-up and a wig .
Perhaps at one time, but lately I've been pretty busy, and haven't given much thought to crossdressing. In fact, several times lately I've had to force myself to stop what I was doing and go put on a dress. If I don't dress up three or four times a week I start getting really weird. I should dress every day, but I just can't seem to find the time.
I see everything through the prism of crossdressing. It taints every thought I have. Every show I see, magazine I read, song I hear, woman I see, and thought is tainted by my desire to be feminine.
I would have thought that in New Zealand you could go out and hunt Venison, fish for whitebait, transplant some shoots of that pretty flower, gorse, rescue possums that have been run over, bathe in boiling mud and a myriad of other past times....
How could cross dressing be all consuming in such a beautiful country?
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
OK, my life does not include a lot of unscheduled time. Nine years ago there was no Tina, so now she occupies a significant amount of time, but so do many other aspects of life. Does a day go by without some thoughts or acts concerning Tina? Of course not! Then again, I could say the same thing about a long list of topics. It's just life!
Too much of anything can be and isn't necessary a good thing. IMHO if one or one's thoughts are preoccupied with ANY one given thing its because there's a lack of an outlet for it. Recognizing the want, need, desire, for EXPRESSING one's inner desires is the first step toward maintaining a balanced control of such. Failure to recognized and validate the WANT, NEED, AND DESIRE of such is what causes the most problems. Regardless of what the want, need, and desire is.
Once recognized and validated, the want, need, and desire can be channeled into a HEALTY (Mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically, and even sexually outlet to the benefit of any all.
For me at least, cross dressing is a want, need, and desire to express FEMINITITY an outlet that is traditionally denied to simply because of my physical anatomy ~ which isn't necessary in synch with my BIOLOGICAL sex, etc yada ~ yada!
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