What is the phenomenon for early crossdressing?

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I'd like to start a new thread that is related to the thread about when we started crossdressing.

It seems like there's something going on in our psyche that starts us at a very early age. We already know that in the TS realm many know from very early on when they exhibit female behavior that they are female and later take the steps to transition to fulfill the need. Many of us would like to and for many reasons we don't. It all depends on the severity of the dysphoria.

So as far as CD's are concerned who wouldn't think of transitioning, I wonder what it is that causes us to become full blown CD's and enjoy everything about it. I know when I was maybe 4-5 I was acting effiminate and wearing simple clothes from my sisters and Mom. My sisters even painted my nails for fun. Through early school grades I was taunted and called a sissy. It lay dormant but when I was about 11-12 something just "clicked" in my head like a switch turning on. From there on I CD'd and it's now my life.

Any thoughts about a cause?

Cheryl

[Rachael Leigh]

Cheryl it's an age old question and I've given up trying to figure out why I enjoy it. I know as I think about I just love the fabrics in ladies clothes the colors and the feeling of being in a bra or hose.
It's never made since and no don't want to transistion but if I'm going to dress I want to do my best at emulating a women as I can.

[Ally 2112]

i started at a young age and years later it is still a mystery.All i know is i have always liked it and always will

[Amy Fakley]

As far as a cause, I couldn't tell you. I suspect nobody really can, though there are a few of theories that float around here.

About all I can tell you is that just about from the minute that my mind developed enough to understand "boys are like this and girls are like that", I was unhappy with my role in that situation. Maybe one of the first and most obvious ways that I felt the edges of the box I'd been crammed into, was clothes.

Girls got pretty clothes and I wanted pretty clothes too. It felt like those were the clothes I was supposed to wear, but instead I got blue jeans and t-shirts. Later on when I got the opportunity to actually wear some girl clothes, it felt really really good, and that is something that's stayed with me my whole life.

I don't know that there was a "cause" for this any more than there was a "cause" for my baby brain to figure out how to walk on two feet. It's like it came pre-loaded from the factory. That's just what this model of human does, LOL.

[Amy Lynn3]

You repeated a question many have ask before you and I have ask in my mind over and over again, but no concrete answer yet, as to why. I love to crossdress and at my age I'm sure the urge will never stop until I leave this world.

I don't think I have posted this before, but I have an even deeper question in my mind. I started to crossdress before I was ever old enough for my mind to record. Many in my family have told me that I would take all my sisters panties and wear them and then put then under my bed. What urged me to do that at that young age ? I dunno !

[Annaliese]

I believe it with us from the time we are conceived, it come on strong at different time in our lives.

[Kate Simmons]

Well we are born half a woman anyway chromosome wise. I guess some of us just have a "lazy Y" chromosome.

[Teresa]

Cheryl,
Maybe goes right back to conception, we are all conceived female and during development deviate from female to male. At birth we have carry overs that may or may not develope, part of us must remain female ! My dressing was and is still sexual, I want to share it with women but don't want to become one ! I use to try and avoid dress up games so I didn't give my CDing away but ended up finding two GFs that were Ok with my CDing . When I got married I thought it would stop and that's when the guilt and shame started !

[Daryl]

I started doing it in my mid 20's. After my mom died. I started with some of her panty girdles. Then later on
I would by panties and panty hose. I would wear them when I would be working out of town. It just kept
progressing on from there to where I am today.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I suppose there is truth to the fact that males all start out as primarily female in utero. And I woukld surmise that for some the development become stronger in some degree to be either fully male, or on a scale, partially female. That could mean a scale where we have enough of a female brain to CD, or on a stronger end of the scale, become TS.

I only know that I loved the many parts of being a girl long before I knew anything about gender identity. I do know that my mother was under a lot of stress in my 7th-8th months of her pregnancy. I've read that this can be a cause for the way we are maybe due to an infusion of female hormones in our brains. Hope this might make sense.

Cheryl

[Jenniferathome]

I was a jock as a kid. Played every sport and played well. I've never been effeminate. And I'm a cross dresser. It's gentic.

[heather ann martin]

I've just always been very effeminate. I've absolutely no idea why. It's just the way I am.

[JayeLefaye]

Hi Cheryl,

Thanks for asking, because it's a wonderful question!

I'm trying a "cut & paste" here, because you asked: "Any thoughts about a cause"...So I'm just gonna let 'er rip:-)...And add another "preface", to say that I told my wife, a therapist(with several LGBTQ-Transitioning clients), this whole story recently, and even SHE had no clue to what lay beneath:-)...So, I apologize in advance for the length of it, but you asked, so here goes...

I’ll preface this by saying that I was “all boy”, without any inkling of the Feminine within. It’s not that I thought girls were icky, it’s just that they were useless in regards to knowing how to throw or kick a ball or eat mud or just generally get muddy & dirty. I NEVER wanted to be one of them or EVER envied them.

And then came a Saturday afternoon in 1962. I was 7 years old and left alone for a few hours while my parents and siblings were out running errands. I was watching a “Creature Feature” on TV. “The Creature From the Black Lagoon”…Editors Note: I saw the movie again 20 years later at a “Retro Movie Theater”, and my initial observation was still valid regarding “The Scene”.

THE SCENE: A small boat exploring, for Botanical Purposes, the Black Lagoon…Captain, First Mate, Local Guide, Hot Chick(hereafter referred to
as Ginger:-) ) …And The Creature…

No one on the boat knew of The Creature’s existence at that point. Ginger decided to go for a swim. She wore a white one-piece swim suit, very modest. She dove off the side of the boat and started doing the back-stroke across the lagoon.

The Audience had seen The Creature, but no one in the film had…So there Ginger was, doing an innocent backstroke on the top of the water…And five feet below her, The Creature was mimicking her every move…Was The Creature gonna eat her?!?! Kill her?!?....

The next thing I knew, I had on a pair of my mom’s black panties and was doing the back-stroke across the living room floor.

It wasn’t that I wanted to look like Ginger. What I “wanted” was to feel her vulnerability!

Four Macho Dudes on the boat, oblivious to the real danger, and one Ginger, innocent and vulnerable…And one Creature, with no evil intent.

The Creature had fallen in love…Think King Kong,…All I knew, at the age of 7, was that I needed to know how that Damsel in Unknown Distress felt.

The movie ended…Life went on…I went back to All Boy without a second thought.

7 years later: I stumbled upon my older sisters “things” in the family clothes hamper. I wasn’t consciously looking for them, but there they were(insert several years/decades..Yada yada) No big deal, just a fetish that was occasionally indulged in while going through life. It, the CDing, was never a real issue.

40 years later: I was finally free to explore. I discovered Crossdressers.com(although I didn’t become a member)…I discovered that the local community I had built for myself was “encouraging”…I discovered that I was free to explore my natural inclination toward wanting to experience The Feminine Within…And I did!!

50 years later: Life is Good!!!

I can’t speak for those who have been born into the wrong gender/body…Bless your hearts and I pray for safe travels along your path…

I can’t speak for those who still see CDing as a Sexual Fetish…Although I DO think that they ought to take some time to delve a little deeper and give themselves a chance to outgrow that phase.

I can only speak for myself; Something that I was born with needed to identify with The Feminine, and I am thankful, that I can identify with The Feminine through every day actions, whether I am dressed or not.

Jaye

[Laura28]

I am not sure why or how it started, i know when i was young i tried my mothers stuff when left alone at home, and have been dressing off and on all my life. AS i have gotten older maybe the last 5 years or so the urge is much stronger and i want to dress fully, when younger i never owned a wig or forms or make up. now i have so many wigs and clothes, shoes makeup jewerly. Why now why as hit my 50 do i feel the need to dress up totally? I have no idea. I was a Jock as a kid played Hockey since i could walk, never afraid to get in a fight when i was young. Overall did all the Boy stuff and did it wth a gusto... Must be a gentic thing i guess. Maybe as we get older the testrone levels are reduced and we embrace dressing more???

[Janine cd]

I am not sure that the genetic argument is correct but it seems to be the only logical explanation. I saw myself as a boy wishing to be a girl from as young as 4.

[Angie G]

Whatever the cause I glad it happend to me. And I've loved it from the first time I put something girly on.thinking back I must have benn younger then 10.
Angie

[Adriana Moretti]

could it be curiosity ??? I found something at a young age, said "hmmmm I like the way this feels, I am going to try it on".....I dont think to much on the why's...........they will make your head spin......I just roll with it.

[SamanthaSometimes]

I am not sure that the genetic argument is correct but it seems to be the only logical explanation.

My wife and I are in a DADT relationship but I brought up the CD subject because she had recently taken some clothes which I thought was in a mutually agreed upon "safe zone". Of course the conversation turned into more than just talking about missing clothes. During that conversation she said "someone must have dressed me up as a girl when I was very young because no man would just just put on women's clothes". She is unaccepting and intolerant so I would expect nothing less from her. But her narrow viewpoint did make me think this is even further (objective) evidence that CDing is genetic and gender is truly a spectrum and not binary. From her viewpoint, she is right. No male would just adorn women's attire given their entire gender premise is based solely upon binary. As children, at a very early age before socially established taboos are known or affect our behavior, a propensity to explore and enjoy the other gender's world by wearing female clothes, cosmetics, nail polish, etc. can rationally (not empirically) be explained by genetics. Is the desire for and satisfaction of children to 'cross dress' any different than children who show early penchant and talent for music, art, math, mechanics, etc.? Aren't all of those genetic too before environment begins to shape adolescent behavior?
Of course the early childhood case for CD pointing to genetics doesn't translate to 'late bloomers' so perhaps, and most likely, there are other dynamics for CDing at play too.
I gave up on the 'why?' some time ago. I just embrace the CDing for what it is to me and cope the best I can.

[Allison Chaynes]

I don't think there is "a" cause. Maybe there's a genetic component for some, maybe it's environment, maybe it's how you were raised, who knows? I know my mom thought I was going to be born a girl and had a name picked out, but until I was 12, I never had any CD urges. I don't know why, but my friend's mom had laundry sitting out on their couch and for some reason I felt the urge to try on her panties as soon as I was alone.

I've punched every slot on my "man card"- sports, army vet, hunting, etc. After facing death a few weeks ago, I feel like I have a lot left unfinished with Allison. I don't understand it, but I'm ok with it.

[JenniferR771]

Science major here. Crossdressing is not likely to be genetic as then it would run in families--it would be revealed. (Check your parents and kids, OK?)
What would happen if a crossdresser married a crossdressing woman?
I think it is more likely to be a non-genetic in-utero effect. Maybe like left handed. Maybe like homosexuality. Maybe like having a twin brother.

[StephanieinSecret]

I can remember little bits and pieces from my past, but no real "why".

The first time i tried on panties, (also the first exclusively female clothing item ever), i wasn't aroused. I was literally too young. i was simply curious about what it felt like. I was instantly jelous of the incredibly soft texture- but after a moment, i changed back into boy underwear and carried on with my day.

A few years later, i was truly pubescent, and sexual thoughts began to play a role. As of now, i like to fantasize about being vemale, but I lnow I do not wish to transition. It can be puzzling, though, when the "pink fog" descends and all I want to do is dress.

[gwen55]

My gender events.




When I was 3. This is my earliest memory, it was morning, and I was the first to awake. It may have been winter, or a weekend, because my dad was home and he worked construction.

I believe my mother was hoping for a girl when she had me, I have an older brother, and in my room was a large doll. My mom had gotten it at a baby shower. I liked to play with the doll. I knew the doll was a girl because it wore a dress, and I was a boy because I didn’t have any dresses. But I wanted one.

That morning, I decided I wanted to put the dress on. Everyone else was asleep.
I took the dress off the doll. I took off my pajamas, and put the dress over my head, like I seen my mom do. I was a small child, and the doll was almost as tall as me. I pulled the dress down and flattened it against me, like I seen my mom do. It fastened behind my head, It was a hook and eye like on a bra. I didn’t know how it worked. I knew about snaps from my plastic pants. And I knew it stayed together. So I put my hands behind my head and pushed them together and it just happened to hook.

I was in my first dress. I spun to make it go out and enjoyed the open feeling.

For some reason, I knew I should take it off before my brother or parents woke. I reached behind me and tried to pull it apart like snaps, but I couldn’t. I knew I needed mom to help me out of it.

I went to my parents room. They were still sleeping. My dads side of the bed was closest to the door. I snuck in real quite, around to my moms side of the bed, and tugged on her arm. She looked at me, and I said, “I cant make it come off mom”, My mom smiled and helped me get out of the dress.




6 years old

I have an older brother, when my mother had me she was hoping for a girl. As I grew to be a toddler, and a young boy, there were toys for me that were dolls, paper dolls and a similar toy that was like a plastic version of paper dolls that was my favorite. You would place the cut out dresses and skirts onto the figures and they would stick. There were accessories also like different hair, purses, shoes, and jewelry.

Other pleasant memories were, in the evenings, mom would hold me on her lap and paint my nails. When she would go out, I would watch her put on her makeup, she would put lipstick on me and give me a touch of perfume. And when she had her friends over, they would sit around the table and talk. Sometimes they would comment on how pretty a girl I would have made, I was small, slim, they would comment on my long eyelashes and shape of my nails.

I had a first cousin that I would play with a few times a year at family get-together. I would listen to the stories her mom would tell about her, and things she did in her “girl world”. I enjoyed the stories, and we would play “house” pretending to be adults. I loved the clothes she wore, the dresses, ruffled socks.

I believe I was in the first grade when I had my first communion at church. I remember going to the classes and instruction. The preparation and rehearsal at the church, and than the day arrived. We were to meet in the church basement. I didn’t pay any attention to what we were to wear, our parents knew about that and as a child I wore what my mom told me to put on. Us boys were to wear black pants and a white shirt. So I was dressed and my mom took me to the church basement, and I couldn’t believe what I saw. The girls dresses were so pretty, I had never seen anything so pretty. I saw the girls moms helping them get everything just right. Even lifting up there hems and adjusting their petticoats. There white gloves, I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I went to my mom and ask why us boys just wore black pants and a white shirt, but the girls got to dress so pretty. I told her I wanted a dress, I wanted to look like them. I started to cry pleading to put on a first communion dress. My mom took me outside as I was beginning to make a scene. She told me, I was a boy, and just girls wore dresses. She calmed me down and kept me out side until I got over it.

Not long after, I was at school at recess. And I was playing with another boy. And I said to him, “ I wish I were a girl, girls get to do everything, don’t you wish you were a girl?” He looked at me funny, he said “NO”, he said he was glad he was a boy, and then he didn’t play with me any more. I knew then, than I shouldn’t say things like that. I am a boy, live with it.

[CherylFlint]

Gender identity starts at birth: blue for boys, pink for girls.
When I was a little kid (3 and 4) I wanted to play with dolls and dress as a girl, but I was given drab things to wear and trucks and cars to push around the floor.
Such is life, so we make the most of it with what we got.
Enjoy being a CD, because it’s who we are and you owe it to yourself to treat yourself right.

[jayme357]

Tis a dilemma. I was 5 or so when I started wearing my mothers clothing and using her cosmetics. Think 1940. No communications and no way to understand even if there was. The urge never went away. The option of "transitioning" was never a consideration since that option didn't exist. One just continued with life.

More years than I can count pass and the urge has never gone away yet here I am having lived a very productive life as a male. I would give anything if I had abandoned my male life and had become the Christine Jorgensen of my era. It just wasn't an option in my time. So, I continue to play make believe and mourn the loss of the real me who only existed in my dreams.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

I was born with needed to identify with The Feminine, and I am thankful, that I can identify with The Feminine through every day actions, whether I am dressed or not.

Jaye

Jaye, I can't help feeling you're mixing up feminine with submission and vulnerability. Many, many do this here, yet if anyone here had actually walked a mile in a woman's life they'd fast realise that women are some of the toughest people you'll meet. I think we're tougher and more resilient than men. But somehow, because we're physically weaker and our clothes just happen to be prettier, it's become assumed that feeling vulnerable and gentle means you're feeling feminine.

So maybe crossdressing is a male version of feminine and then there are actual females and the two have very little in common once you scratch below the surface.