Halloween may out you!

[reb.femme]

.......I think most of you that do this want to be outed in the first place.
Just an honest observation from my point of view. I know I will get thrown under the bus for this but you know when you speak your mind around here people don't want to hear the truth.

Grab my hand Tracii, I can either save you from going under the bus or it'll be the pair of us together. I totally agree with this point because I've considered it myself. Probably not the best way of outing yourself but great from an advertising point of view, as you get the attention of a wide and varied audience in one go!

I'm out to my wife and my grown up sons and their partners, but what a way to let my siblings know. I would hold if you're not ready to be totally busted though. Can you handle the fallout from such an outing? If you can, then go for it!

Rebecca

[Brenda456]

Jennifer is wise. Though I might want to dress en femme on Halloween (and the rest of the year) for me it is best not to do so. Right or wrong, there can still be consequences.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I would say embrace the day and wear proudly in public and not worry about it. If someone questions how good you look, walk or etc, then say "Thank you, it took a lot of research, practice and some female assistance to get everything just right, so I don't fall and/or look like a fool". I have friends who are serious into their costumes and practice talking, motions, actions and etc. Be it them coming as Jason, Freddy, a zombie or any of the other thousands of characters out there. It's all about the ability to be someone else for one night a year without judgment, and a lot of people practice because it's fun. Difference is, we get plenty of practice year round, because it's who we are and what we embrace. Halloween is our time to shine without judgment, so this year I'm going as a short skirted bearded lady wearing 4" stiletto's and plan on working it like any other day. Happy Halloween All!

I hope you realize that in a loud large party with everyone having short attention spans that you won't have the time or be able to fully convey the principle or have someone understand.

Cheryl

[Lacyfem]

I was at a party few years back, not Halloween, and a woman was there that had size 11 heels and her feet were hurting so she took them off. Someone said to me as a joke, try them on and at first I refused but then said OK.... they were amazed at how well I walked in them, even the wife and all thought it was very funny jokingly. Little did they know how long I'd be walking in heels prior to that moment. They still talk about it as a joke and they still don't know I dress.

[Lorileah]

Come on Lorileah, you know that just doesn't apply to the cross dress argument. Your examples are characters from horror, mythology, whatever. Those are easily dismissed as a costume. The underlying "why" is not asked. A man, however, dressed as a woman, is always questioned as to "why?" Always.

OK if you dress as a soldier? If you dress as a doctor? If you dress as a salesman for Best Buy? If you dress like a chipmunk no one assumes you are a furry. The fear we see here is between the ears of the people who are afraid. Heck, so what if Billy Bob Joe says "Hey, you must like dressing as a girl because you sure are pretty"? If I dressed like a mechanic I would look the part but I wouldn't let ME work on your car.

So, now I have seen men dressed in diapers at these parties...Hmm Oh and I saw a politician...now maybe that guy was on his free time. I think he was Roosevelt who said "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" I honestly doubt anyone here could do such a good job that their friends would know. And in reality I sort of take offense to anyone even trying to scare the general membership over all this.

To add to this I went to three Halloween parties before I started full time. Every time I was dressed as a woman in some manner...yet when I DID come out...everyone was surprised

[Jackie7]

Ten or so years ago I went to a large party en femme, LBD with pearls and heels. Around mid-evening another party-goer leaned over to me and asked, " Please, are you a man or a woman?" Best hallowe'en ever. Stepping out tonight with my sweetie also in drag, we will hit some bar parties downtown. Don't care who sees us - they'll read us as crossdressed but probably won't recognize us - nor what they conclude.

[Jenniferathome]

... If you dress like a chipmunk no one assumes you are a furry. ...

To add to this I went to three Halloween parties before I started full time. Every time I was dressed as a woman in some manner...yet when I DID come out...everyone was surprised

Two interesting comments. I had the same thought about the furry and baby fetish types, but here's why it is still a costume: the furry (and diaper) kink is so widely unknown, that if you ask 100 people what a furry is, I'm betting 80 won't know. So the leap from chipmunk to furry is just too great. I hadn't even heard of this until a few years ago! Cross dressing, while not understood, is widely known to exist. Close, but a miss.

Now, the other comment about surprise does not surprise me. When a loved one is on their deathbed, one expects death but the end is always a surprise, none-the-less. Your "outing" may have been a surprise and still your friends could have had suspicions. Ask them.

The bottom line is that a man, dressing as a woman, is unlike any example you may come up with. Men just don't do that but a man can dress as Smokey the Bear and not arouse any thoughts.

[mandm40c]

I hope you realize that in a loud large party with everyone having short attention spans that you won't have the time or be able to fully convey the principle or have someone understand.

Cheryl

I do realize that, my point was most people would assume your just in a costume and you did a good job with it. The few that may ask, you have a simple one sentence response, as they do have short attention spans. As a added measure, if one is really concerned of being outed, then I would cater my outfit to some type of female character from the 50's housewife or some other period costume to a cocktail waitress and etc... It's why I mentioned about going as the bearded lady, it allowed me to have fun with it while dressing the way I feel the most comfortable and hell, even got some compliments. However, with that being said, I do realize I can't pass en femme and that may cause me to not fully understand what others here have posted in regards to not dressing for Halloween. It's just a view point and I don't think there is a right or wrong answer.

[Babbs]

Hi Lorileah, I think it was W. Churchill who said the "fear" quote. Question for you and Jennifer? What is a "furry"? That one went over my head

[Jenniferathome]

Babbs, thanks for making my point. "Furries" are those who dress as furry animal of some sort: mouse, chipmunk, fox, whatever. It is akin to cross dressing and is an actual thing. These people feel peace of mind, wellness, whatever, when dressed as a furry animal. No kidding. What must they think of us?

[lingerieLiz]

I have no problem with guys showing up as girls. Lots of women find it funny and many have been to drag shows. In my case when I was going to go as a nurse I was very active and passable. I had been out to movies, dinners and dancing as a girl without detection. It isn't the comments that people make to you, but the comments that are made on the way home about people and their costumes. When I went to the party CDing wasn't really known about. Most people today are aware of drag queens if not CDing.

It is the little things that give you away. When you are trying to pass and when you want to be the life of the party at Halloween. Going to a party that no one knows you at is not what I'm talking about. It is the party where they do know you and oh by the way he came as a woman the last few years.

[Emi_]

All things considered, degrading myself by presenting my cross-dressing as a cheap gag just to avoid being "found out," feels low and painful. I am this person and I express myself in this way and I will not allow myself to be the butt of some social joke just to "be me."

[MissTee]

My wife was encouraging me to dress this Halloween. She said she would tell everyone she picked out the outfit, dressed me, and that I was dressing as her. She would in turn dress as me. Again, my wife knows of my dressing and supports me. I refused because, as said here many times, I know people would talk because I could'nt help but be comfortable dressed and it would show. In the end we both ended up wearing cheap Halloween wigs and simple Halloween themed tee shirts (mine drab of course.)

This didn't deter my wife from sharing her plan for me dressing with many we met, with my wife adding that I "chickened out" of her challenge. 7 out of 10 replied that if I had, they would think there was more to it than Halloween, and then followed the comment up with a smile or wink. Not sure what to make of it, but . . . .

Anyway, I got absolutely nothing out of wearing a cheap Halloween girl wig for the night. It's just not the same. It did, however, re-enforce the fact that I am no where ready to come out, nor do I have a desire to. Weird as it may sound, I kinda like my little closet.

[Babbs]

Hi Lorileah, I think it was W. Churchill who said the "fear" quote. Question for you and Jennifer? What is a "furry"? That one went over my head

Sorry Lorileah it was FDR, my bad.

[Cara Lacey]

A few Halloweens ago I was sitting in a bar, and a guy came in dressed in drag. Everyone laughed thought it was great, and then someone said you know, when guys dress up as women on Halloween there usually cross-dressers. I nodded in agreement.

The bartender looked at me and said "hey wait a minute, didn't you come out as Elvira a few years ago?" I nodded my head, smiled and said "yes I did." I heard an audible gasp from those around me, and the bartender said "wow!"

I have been known as a cross-dresser ever since...not that there is anything wrong with that!

[Lexi Moralas]

Funny topic , this is something I have thought about a ton of time, and I never entertained the idea of going to a party dressed , I always figures I would out myself when I started walking better in 5 in heels AFTER a few drinks when I would forget to pretend I didn't know how lol

[Eryn]

Dressing as Joan from "Mad Men" tomorrow...

Oh, if I could only do Joan's amazing curves without 10 pounds of silicone, I'd probably forget what I wrote below:


Three reasons that I don't dress en femme for Halloween:

1. I don't consider my female clothes and makeup to be a costume. It's part of who I am.

2. I'm too good at it. While it would be interesting to see the reaction of my male-mode friends I also don't want the fallout of the private conversations they would have after I am out of earshot. I already leak badly enough!

3. It is harder to pass or blend on Halloween than it is on any other day. On Halloween I'd be a tall guy in drag. On any other day I am interpreted, at least initially, as a woman of pitiable height.

[ReineD]

i know that many want this day to be a free pass, but simply is not. A man attempting to pass himself off as a woman is suspect.

I agree. There was rushing night in one of the fraternities last year. There were about 20 young guys all dressed as women, walking along the main street. They were walking in twos or threes, or solo, from one of the frat houses to one of the bars, and some were lagging behind. It was so obvious that dressing as women was totally foreign to them, except one guy who obviously took care with his appearance (this made me question whether he was a CD). But the others had ill-fitting wigs, cartoonish makeup, clothes that no GG would wear out in public ever (like a boa), and they were obviously having a hoot over the whole thing.

[Ressie]

I wore one of my wigs last year but my costume was a hippy from the 60s including a tie dye shirt. The wig is long, black, curly and parted in the middle. There is flesh colored plastic at the part which makes it look more realistic. There was a young girl that kept staring and wondering why it didn't look like a wig! This wig might have caused a little gossip concerning CDing with a couple of friends, even though I was in costume as a male. Did I secretly want to be outed by wearing the wig? It was a bit of a risk since it was more realistic than a halloween wig.

I don't have the desire to show up in drag among people that know me as a male. It would probably confirm any suspicions they already have!

[Sandi Beach]

Well,

i can can honestly attest to the fact that dressing as a woman for Halloween, and being somewhat convincing, does not mean you are a crossdresser to others at the party. You see, the first time I EVER crossdressed was at a Hallowen party. My costume that year was "going as a woman". This was just a costume for me that year, as I had never crossdressed before (secretly or in public). But, to make a convincing costume, I went all out, as others have stated here. I shaved my legs, chest, and hands. I had my wife do my makeup, wore a long sleeved blouse, mini skirt, jewelry, clip on earrings, and 2 inch heels. The makeup was done to look like a "real woman", not over the top drag make up. I did not make a pretty woman at all, but I looked somewhat realistic.

On the way to the party, I stopped for gas, and at a grocery store. At both places, nobody even gave me a second look. At both places, I got a shocked looked from the clerk when I spoke. Both said "I thought you were a woman until you spoke". I had no problem walking in 2 inch heels, and did not walk like a trucker. I had no "sway" in my hips, but did not walk "manly" so I somewhat passed in public. When I arrived at the party, which was filled with 100 percent co-workers that all knew me, most did not know who I was. Many of them came up to me after they heard who I was, and said "I recognized your wife, but did not know who that women she was talking to was". I won best costume that night.

So, having never crossdressed before in my life, I was convincing enough at that party. But, I also never got vibes from people that "he must do that all the time". At future parties with the same group, I did not dress as a woman anymore. But, my other costumes went all out those years too. For example, on year I went as the tin man from the Wizard of Oz, and made a actual metal costume that was screwed together. I had to screw myself in after getting out the the car from driving there. Another year I was a male blowup doll, and was covered head to waist in liquid latex for the effect. As you can see, I do what ever I can to make a "realistic costume".

It was AFTER this party that crossdressing has continued. It has been over 20 years since that party, and I am now a closet dresser. I liked the way it felt. My wife does not know. She hated my costume that year, and never wants to see me that way again. I have never been out in public dressed again, but would like to. It was the most fun I ever had at a Halloween Party, and would like to do it again sometime.

[Judith96a]

The bottom line is that a man, dressing as a woman, is unlike any example you may come up with. Men just don't do that but a man can dress as Smokey the Bear and not arouse any thoughts.

The exception to this is that a male dressing in female clothing is perfectly acceptable to friends, parents etc. so long as there's no attempt to "pass" and it is intended to be funny!
Hence why, when I was 17, my mother (whose general attitude to cross dressing makes Gengis Khan look like a liberal) kitted me out with bra, tights etc so that I could wear a rather fetching black dress in a spoof fashion show (at a church function). I looked utterly ridiculous and both she and Dad giggled mightily!
I doubt that they would have been quite so amused if I had borrowed Mum's discarded stilettos that were lying in the bottom of MY wardrobe, had sashayed around comfortably in them and had sorted out sufficient makeup & wig to NOT look ridiculous!
If they could see me now!

[mariehart]

I would agree that you can out yourself at Halloween if you're not careful. I mentioned before my one and only Halloween dressing up experience where everyone in work department dressed as French maids. As we were changing into the outfits in the office. A surreal experience in itself! I was putting on my panti hose with practised ease when I looked up and saw the others struggling with theirs. I immediately began to 'struggle' too. It's a simple thing like that which would out you.

As it happens though I suspect many of them wouldn't be a bit surprised. I did overhear a comment about looking the part. In the photos later everyone looked like men in drag. I didn't.

It's easy to give yourself away.

[Katey888]

I... the others had ill-fitting wigs, cartoonish makeup, clothes that no GG would wear out in public ever (like a boa)...

Thanks Reine.. I have been on to eBay right away to ensure I have that essential of all non-GG dress, the feather boa... Expect photos before Halloween next year...

Katey x

[Karolyn]

This year for Halloween, I realized how easy it was for people to think I was crossdresser when I was trying to convince them I wasn't (only one person knows so far). I said many times it was a one-time experience, life is short so let's not make it boring. But the problem comes when being a perfectionist: I didn't want to use a cheap wig, a costume that is bad quality and with my manly face. So I pushed the experience farther and had full costume and learned how to do makeup.

I learned makeup from scratch in a few weeks, and due to the quality of it when I went to the Halloween party, people thought I had been doing it for years. Good luck to convince them after that that it wasn't the case (I wasn't lying on this one). The quality of the costume was good enough that people thought I spent tons of money on it, so thinking I was using it regularly, among other clothes.

Conclusion: even if you get a great experience (as I did this year), be prepared for the consequences, and the potential outing (at least people having lots of doubts about you). Or purposely reduce the quality of the clothes and makeup to show you have no experience, but that works only if it's not against your principles.

[Marcelle]

This seems to be the big topic each Halloween and if you go through past posts you will see it crop up each year. So let's do some preliminary research on this from the community:

Those who chose to go out dressed "en femme" to a party at Halloween (nobody knows about your CDing ways) . . . are you now known as the local cross dresser?

Caveats . . . (1) You cannot have offered up the information at the party . . . "Nice costume how did you get the detail so good? Oh, that's easy . . . I am a cross dresser". (2) You have to be called out (no pun intended) on your costume ("Hey your costume is too good, you must be a cross dresser") (3) It has affected your life (i.e., people now know).

The rest is conjecture. We can say people will think you are a cross dresser but how do we know all those hushed whispers are not about something totally unrelated? Will people surmise you like to dress in women's clothing because you went out as a girl . . . the balance of probabilities says yes but then again it also says no.

Hugs

Isha