Can you still see your femininity afterwards?

[Ivie]

I realise that expressing my femininity actually helps me feel better about my male side too. Though it is distressing when I have to change back, horrible sometimes, at the same time I find afterwards I can still see my female side there, in the mirror, through my male side (and it's not just remaining make-up!) And as a result I feel better about me as a whole. Seems obvious to me now, but I really only just realised.
Does anyone else find the same, can you still see your feminine self, and does that make you feel better about the male you see too?
Yours inarticulately
Ivie

[Kate Simmons]

I agree with you in that it's all about feelings for myself although some folks on here will tell you it has nothing to do with their feelings and they just like dressing as a woman. Evidently it affects all of us differently.

[Beverley Sims]

Ivie,
I feel my female side, mostly in mannerisms and deportment.

[noeleena]

Hi,

As we are all different in so many ways what may apply to some may not to others.

I know many here wont like this though its just a fact of my life and is who i am regardless of others who dont accept some are born different and see things in a different light,

maybe for myself i never had an issues or problem being who i am starting at age 10 ,

You talk about the detail of male and female, that really has no meaning at all to myself, strange you may say yea well im weird so what s new ,

Really it comes down .....to accepting your self....... seems very hard for some, not something i know any thing about because it does not apply to my self and never has or will,

put it this way im a mix of both male and female i cross from one to the other in such a way there is no difference its so intertwined i cant seperate in fact i cant or wheres the difference,

The other detail is i was never brought up being forced in ether, i really did not see any difference , maybe i was blind He He ..... they did think i was and had to wear glass,s hmmm yea right never was blind oh dear what a laugh , was not that.

Now this changing back clothes only or mind perception some of both for you no doubt,

What do i see in that there mirror hope fully its fogged over , its not about my looks or what i wear , a sack will do i dont care,,

its about who i am the way i am yea maybe....., Or is this really about the core of who i am , you see theres no pretense here, no acting or make belive, get to know this person and find the real what makes who i am so real.

apply that and see how you go,

...noeleena...

[Marcelle]

Hi Ivie,

I am not sure about seeing a "feminine self" afterwards or for that matter even a "masculine self" prior or after. One of the things I have found once I integrated what you might refer to as the "feminine self" into my life, I only ever see "me" when I look in the mirror regardless of which way I am presenting. While my mannerisms, walk, gestures and to some extent voice are definitely more female when "en femme" and vice versa when "en boy" what defines me as a person is the same below the presentation. So when I look in the mirror I see a person . . . that is all.

Hugs

Isha

[Katey888]

Can I see my feminine aspects..? Yes - I had noticed this too... And a lot of thinking and study of what constitutes feminine features recently - particularly facial features - confirms this... and I think I can see now that they've always been there, but then they are in other people too... and yes, other males with no apparent femme side.

I think I suppress the more obvious feminine gestures and postures - but they're still there, right under the surface and do pop out occasionally... and others have said that I do have very feminine gestures, but I think it's just being a little more graceful and understated in expressions, particularly with hand and finger gestures (errrr - well, not single finger gestures.. )

On facial features, I'm sure there are other more sophisticated morphing vids around, but if you want to do a short study on how confusing and mixed up male and female facial features can be (and the differences) this old vid by Godley & Creme means you can do it to some old but cool and chilled background sounds... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxtPRF6NG7I



And yes - it does make me feel better, I think because for me it's a constant - if surreptitious - reminder that there's more to me than meets the eye, and it speaks to the whole person that's within me and the other aspect that only comes out at special times...

Katey x

[Krisi]

I don't think there is a "feminine self" or a "masculine self" either. There is only "self".

We may try to learn feminine mannerisms to enhance our crossdressing and we may accidentally carry these over when in male mode (it can be a problem if you forget and "swish" while walking in male mode), but there is still only one "self".

Strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't change who we are inside.

[kimdl93]

There really isn't an afterwards for me. I am who I am and the feminine aspects of my personality are always there.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Ivie,

I just came out as a CD to a dear friend and neighbour. Her take on it is that of course I feel happier, because- "It seems to be associated with the authentic self finding space to exist."

She's right, and so are you. You feel better when you look in the mirror because you have embraced another big slice of yourself. That doesn't mean you're 100% accepting of yourself yet - or perhaps it does - but you're a big step nearer it.

A life in denial can never be a complete life. No wonder so many people are on meds.

I'm happy for you!

Yours babblingly,

Nikki

[Eringirl]

While there is only one "me", there are, it would appear, a few sides to the same coin, so to speak. While I am a melting pot of both fem and masc, I feel complete emotionally, mentally & to the extent that I can, physically, when I present as Erin than when I present as my male side. But...that is just me...

Edit: to directly answer the question....my bad....yes, I see a lot of fem in male mode, not in facial features, though I do shape my eyebrows, but more in mannerisms. I just am not a "manly man".
Happy Halloween to all!!

[claire1d]

Hi Ivie,

I certainly see more of my feminine side in male mode since I have been dressing a little more often. I don't know if it is only in my mind or also visible in my behavior. But it does feel great. Appearance wise, I think there are more hints of androgyny also, maybe this has to do we all those unwanted hairs I have been getting rid of .

I don't think it changes my male side that much, I still like to have my hands in grease and dirt and do what boys do, but this slight influence of my female side on my male side helps me soften the lows that come sometimes with the male re-entry mode after some female moments. I guess, I am still trying to find some equilibrium...

[Zylia]

For me, the reverse is true: whenever I have my girl face on, I still see my masculine self

[girlygirly]

I have spent the last year or so backing away from crossdressing, after 20+ years of slipping deeper into "gender confusion. It has mostly gone well, I've learned that gender identity is a choice for me. I'm just happier is a guy, the loneliness that occured while trying to create a feminine persona was just too time-consuming for me.

[Adriana Moretti]

I can see it too...And I hide the fem in male mode though...baggy clothes to make me look heavier , hat pulled low to cover my brows...same exact person....one just looks 10 pounds heavier.....i also dont mind some stubble in guy mode...its nice to be a guy once in a while

[Cheryl T]

I always have the feeling inside no matter what I am wearing.
It is difficult at times to "revert" to the image others must see for now, but all things are temporary in this life.

[Renee Elise]

Yes, after the makeup comes off...after a few days of beard growth not so much, but it's comforting to know that she's waiting for me after a nice bath and a close shave .

[Barbara Maria]

Absolutely.Dressing is just an expression of my femininity.When I'm en femme I feel like I'm who I should be and don't have to hide it.I must do a good job of hiding it because the only one who ever saw it was my second wife.She said it was a major part of who she fell in love with.

[CynthiaD]

I don't have a masculine or feminine side. I'm female all the time. But accepting the fact that I am female has helped me tremendously in dealing with playing the male role, when necessary. I find it much easier to act male, now that I realize that it's all just an act.

[Ivie]

Thanks for your responses, I guess not being out I'm still rather tied into the binary, and so still think of the two sides rather than one whole.
But I often feel so far away when en homme, it is wonderful when I can see the feminine part of me still there.
Now, to try and integrate both sides into one life...
Ivie

[MissTee]

My response is a bit different. I do not notice feminine or masculine. However, since I became okay with me and dressing in general, I started some habits that improve upon the whole me. One of those is a facial and skin care regimen of which I am absolutely committed to sticking with. For three plus years now I've maintained a routine of products (mostly SkinMedica and Obagi) and have also been cognizant of protection from the environment (Sun, wind, etc.) My skin is radiant for my age, and I have greatly reduced the puffy, baggy eyes I used to have. Crows feet around the eyes and lips are almost undetectable, whereas a few year ago I would have made a good prune face industry model. I don't look 20 something, but I get lots and lots of compliments. Most think I'm in my early 40's when they try to guess my age. It helps, too, that I have an awesome hairdresser who keeps my hair style relevant and the gray at bay.

[Tracii G]

My female side I can see all the time enfemme or drab.
I don't hide it from anyone.If they can see it fine if not thats OK too.