Next step in my journey

[Aubrey lee]

I have known I was transgender since childhood. I only recently accepted myself for who I truly am. therapy has helped a great deal in the acceptance of myself as a trans woman. I recently came out to my parents and girlfriend. Both instances went well and all are supportive. I had an initial consultation with a very qualified local doctor regarding my next steps forward. This is where I'm hung up....I have worked in my current position for close to two years. I am in the most comfortable position in my life. I love my job, make good money, and am very happy where I'm at employment wise.I work for a municipality, there are several openly lesbian women and 1 gender variant woman in my department but my position is traditionally a male dominated field. My biggest fear is not being accepted for Who I am in my work environment, and not being able to control the speed of which changes happen via hormones. My motto for transition would be slow and quiet though things can change. I have another appointment with my doctor at the end of December for a physical. The next step would be determining weather I start estrogen, spyro, or both. any comments or feedback will be very helpful as I know I'm headed in the right direction but would appreciate others insight and experience.

[Chari]

It is great to read Aubrey, you have accepted and are comfortable with your feminine side and are proceeding (slowly) in the right direction to your goal of being fully feminine. Please consider talking with your HR supervisor for further guidance with your trans issues. Also inform your doctor of your concerns, and perhaps she/he can advise you as to what you should expect from your work environment. It all can be a confusing, and a bit overwhelming at times, but always stay focused on your main purpose. Wishing you the best.

[Suzanne F]

I am interested to hear responses to this subject. I plan on starting HRT next April. I know where I am heading but am fearful about when I will be coming out at work. I am employed by a male dominated small company. It will be culture shock even though it is located in California. I live in the Bay Area but my employer is located in Sacramento so they aren't quite that open. It will be ok when it is time. At least that is what I keep telling myself!
Suzanne

[Dianne S]

I'm also on Spiro and planning on starting estrogen in the early spring. And I'm also in a male-dominated small company. The only difference is that I'm the owner, so I know the Boss and HR will be OK with my transition... still somewhat nervous how my employees will react.

[Cheryl123]

First of all, you look terrific Aubrey. And it's wonderful that your parents and girlfriend are supportive. Many trans-women have a really difficult time with family and significant others. Regarding your worries about coming out at your job, I think you are getting ahead of yourself. Coming out at work is maybe Step 7 when you are still at Step 3. To a certain extent you can control the speed of changes when you take hormones by beginning with a small amount of Estrogen. Ask your doctor about this. And if you feeling changes are going too fast, you can stop the HRT. So your have some control here. But you might find that once you begin taking estrogen, the psychological and emotional changes are so wonderful that you will not want to stop. HRT is actually more about inner changes than outward ones.

Regarding coming out at work, you can't control how other people react to you. This is a fact of transition, not only at work but also in all aspects of daily life. I have trouble with people who knew me as a guy accepting me as a woman. But I've made up my mind not to let the opinions of others stop me from being who I really am. I think you will need to come to this point too. Committing 100% to transition is necessary. But your position seems to be a fortunate one. There are lesbian and gender-variant women in your department. You might want to talk to these for advice. You can also contract your Human Resource Dept for their imput.

But over all, just take it slow, enjoy today and don't worry about next year. Next year will take care of itself. Good luck and lots of love.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Aubrey, you sound like an eminently got-together person.

Wouldn't you start by talking to the HR dept at work and asking them for their input? I'm guessing that given it's a civic workplace, and already employs at least 3 unconventional people, you have nothing at all to fear. They certainly won't be able to fire you over it, if that's your worry, and beyond that you'll get a predictable response from your co-workers: a few raised eyebrows, a few smiles, a few hugs, then "Er, have you finished that report yet?" business as normal.

Given the acceptance you've found with family, it really sounds like your path will be easier than many.

You can always come here for hugs, that's for sure.

xNikki

[CONSUELO]

I cannot comment on the transistion pathway but many on this site have first hand knowledge and can give some useful advice.

However, I would like to wish you the very best of everything on your journey. You seem to have thought this through very carefully and that alone should be a big positive for you.

[MarieTS]

Aurbrey, so much of what you said and what was echoed in the threads applies to me. First off, Youshould rest comfortably because the changes wont be obvious for awhile, or certainly until you dress enfemme at work. It was nearly a couple of years for me until the endo said we were going to have to reduce dosage, or tr at work as the changes would not be able to be covered up much longer. You still have time! I am now back on my full dosage and will throw caution to the winds at work probably this summer. I might also just leave and fully transition as I have squirrelled away enough money to cover requirements in the near term.
Not to worry, all will go well for you --just believe!

[mbmeen12]

My biggest fear is not being accepted for Who I am in my work environment, and not being able to control the speed of which changes happen via hormones.

Well stated as to concern...but the other gurls (have written in previous posts) are right as to length of time it actually takes. But also continue working with your Doctor and proper guidance from GID specialist aka therapy councilor and continue state your concerns support groups and here because the experience from gurls who've transition successfully. I too am what I call my 5 year plan as to crawl walk run phases. Yes, 5 years, my wife was first part as to buy in (as to you family), second continue seek professional guidance, medical is next phase aka monitor the amt prescription ensuring mind body are in sync...It will take time and time is on your side... And one day at several years down the road the folks will be like yah yah gm grumble where the coffee yada yada and wont even blink an eye....and you'll be like "well I am happy and my weekend was great"

[DeeDee1974]

If you worked for my company I would definitely say start laying the groundwork with HR. That is really how it should work in every company, but I can't speak for the management of every company.

I had started my transition but hadn't come out when my company was sold. I took a very nice severance package instead of relocating. I admit that is was a small company, I was only 1 of 2 HR employees and I don't know who I would have been able to confide in.