Anxiety about your stash.......

[MarinaKirax]

no, not 'stache. I mean, does anyone else get anxious that they might just die one day, and the wife/family will come across your hidden wardrobe after you've gone? Worse yet, you are just really sick in hospital, and it's found, leaving you with some 'splaining to do? My wife knows, and she is DADT and we have been for a few tears, but the kids have no idea. But I have little other stashes of things I like to wear occasionally and underdress - some trouser socks, panties, or foundation garments, occasional bra. 1 or 2 places my wife doesn't know about. I worry that I'll drop dead and my co-workers, or family will find them. I'm not talking about a specific plan, because my wife knows where the main horde is, but I'm talking about do you worry? Am I being silly? MK

[AngieStone]

Not being silly as far as I am concerned, I have worried about that for along time now.

[Annaliese]

If I am dead, why would I care, I would not wanting to put undue stress on my wife, she dealing with my death and has to deal with that to.

[missVS]

Uhh I got busted a while back by my kids. Daughter is totally cool no problems best thing that could have happened I have shopping buddy now.son 15 is in denial or just doesn't want to discuss or think about it. Either way I am clear and happy I dont have to worry about this issue. Its really hard to hide 60 pair shoes, bras,panties,wigs,makeup,nail polish etc etc etc. Plus I have small business on ebay and sell hundreds of Victoria's secrets products. I feel sorry for anybody that has to hide there stuff.

[Launa]

I don't have this problem but if I was you I would tape an envelope with a letter and put it in with the main stash and tell her where things are in the letter. Like a treasure hunt. LOL

[Abbygirl]

I definitely have this exact anxiety, there's nothing silly about it. I have an entire pink bedroom dedicated to Abby and her girly things so it's going to make quite an impact if anyone should see it. I can empathize!

[StevieGirl]

MK:

Wow, I thought I was the only one who considered such an outcome. Thank you for posting that!

I am new to CD so I don’t have a lot. However, three years back I went into the hospital and didn’t get out for 37 days. I did almost die, so now I have been thinking… what would my daughter or worse yet, mom think now if they opened my closet or dresser drawer!

I just hope I get a little forewarning, should there be a next time, (God forbid) so I can clean house ;-) Ha ha

Stevie

P.S. What does DADT mean?

[Lori Kurtz]

On the scale of potential personal catastrophes, death has to be by far the worst--so much so, that in the face of death, nothing else matters. And once the death has actually occurred, you no longer have any problems at all. So if I were you, I wouldn't worry about that stash.

[Sandi Beach]

P.S. What does DADT mean?

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

[Madilyn A.]

Hi Marina, It's been a long time, hope all is well...... And yes, I worry about it but nowhere near my wife's worry. I am interested in seeing some more comments as to what options are available aside from denial.

[kimdl93]

I am so glad I don't have to worry about hiding my things.

[RachaelInLv]

My wife knows all about Rachael and has probably bought half of my stuff for me so that is not an issue , as for anyone who may find my stuff when i am dead, I look at it as i am dead and am not going to care ( i know that probably sounds horrible )

[Evelyn S]

No, you are not being silly at all. I think it shows you care about the feelings and well-being of those around you.

I used to worry a lot about the possibility of my wife discovering my stash, and thought it would be worse for her if she found it after I had died since she previously didn't know anything about my dressing. I like Launa's idea of including a letter, and in hindsight would have left a letter in the stash written to my wife explaining my CDing and that I still loved her beyond words.

My wife now knows and supports my CDing with the condition it is kept secret from our children, friends, and family. So now she is the one who has anxiety about my fem clothes and accessories being discovered in the event our house catches fire or we are both seriously injured or killed. Go figure.

[Alice Torn]

Marina, I am not worried, if i die, but am a bit worried, about, if i get injured, or very ill, and i am alive when a family member or landlord finds it.

[DebbieL]

• -
Have you ever heard about "Victoria's Secret". A man died and his wife found a huge hidden closet full of clothes. She started to sell them and found out that women really liked her late husband's choices. Every employee is told that story, which is why they are so nice and friendly to men who venture into the store.

When I was 6, I kept my stash between the sheets. By the time I was 10 I had a bag hidden in the back of the closet I seemed to refuse to clean. By college I kept it in a drawer that locked. When I finally had my own apartment, I didn't have to hide it, but when I moved in with my father, I kept it in my footlocker which I always kept locked. I purged before I moved in with Leslie, but after 3 weeks, I spilled the beans and didn't have to hide anymore.

The only time I got in trouble was when mom found my stash in the closet and realized that I had stolen some of her clothes. After that, me had a covert "code" - there were things I could take - for example hose that was loosely knotted in the laundry, clothes in the "good will bag". There were even some things she bought for me pretending it was for her so my father didn't freak out. A pair of boots she could barely put on, and a wig were notable examples. Dad knew too, but just didn't want to acknowledge it. He kept hoping it was "just a phase" that I would "grow out of it". Both parents were also afraid that my grandfather would find out and send me to some Christian military school or even an exorcist.

They were also afraid I'd tell my therapist - and he would want to have me committed for shock, torture and lobotomy as a "cure".

[StevieGirl]

Thank you ;-)

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

[MissTee]

My wife knows and is supportive, so my situation is a bit easier. On top of that most of my dressing attire is kept at the second home. We've discussed what happens if I suddenly and without warning go to the great girl store in the sky. We have the local women's shelter and Salvation Army numbers handy. They'll send a truck to pick up it all without questions.

[MelodyS.]

I am feeling a bit of anxiety right about now regarding the stache. My apartment is being remolded and while I have placed all the clothes, make up and most of the shoes in giant tubs I keep fearing that while I am at work, somehow the contractors are going to find them. I can not wait for this all to be done so I can have a girls night in. I also need to buy one more tub for the remaining shoes.

[MelanieAnne]

I think about it a lot. Hopefully, I'll get some kind of heads up in time to purge.

[Seana Summer]

Years ago before I had met my S.O. I found myself in the hospital with a ruptured appendix. My parents drove over and were going to stay at my house until I was released from the hospital. While I suspect they have known all along of my Crossdressing it has never, ever, been discussed. The whole time I was in the hospital (4 or 5 days) I was quite worried that my Mom would start cleaning and find my cloths. If she did she didn't say anything, but I still worried.

I think having a letter explaining things to your loved ones is a good idea. Like your funeral, its not for you, its for them.

[Gardener]

Marina, I do not think you are being silly to worry at all. It shows a concern for the feelings of yourself and others. Although this is not a complete secret, you choose to maintain a measure of secrecy and I suspect that is why you feel anxious: feeling the need to hold it together even after you are off the scene temporarily or permanently. When people say do not worry, it is probably sound advice but not always easy to initiate. I would be inclined to say given that your wife knows, why are there other people you would not want to be surprised? We have so many aspects of personality and behaviour that make up up, why worry about one in particular? Good luck.

[Stephanie47]

I don't worry about it as far as my wife finding my stuff if I pass before her. It's DADT. I'm sure she'd be surprised about the amount of clothing. Now, if she predeceases me that's another story. I've thought about it. I figure I'd start disposing of a lot of my wardrobe. I'm too attached to a lot of the clothing; especially my slips. If I were to be diagnosed with a terminal disease, I'd be disposing of 95% of it.

It could be worse. I'd be fearing getting in an accident and hauled off to the ER and ward where my sister-in-law works. Yikes!

[charlenesomeone]

Marina I never thought much about it. My wife is a DADT as well. It would take some time
to pack it all up, but as others said, won't be there for it.
The letter seems to be the best way to explain to those left to deal with it.

[Traceyjo]

Marina I am in exactly the same situation as you and have the same anxiety. My wife has given me a locked cupboard in the garage for my consideable stash and I am the only one who knows the combination of the lock. If I died I'm sure she would at some stage get the lock opened and destroy everything, She has never seen it and I know she wouldn't want to. If we both died unexpectedly someone else would break into the cupboard and my secret would be revealed, probably to our children which I would hate to happen. Guess I'm just being optimistic and believing I'll live long enough to be able to get rid of everything before I die

[thatotherguy]

My girlfriend recently found a very SMALL portion of my stash... That is, All my bras and 3 pairs of heels.
She was nice about it but I made the mistake of telling her I will get rid of it (now she bugs me all the time to do so). It was just a spur of the moment thing and now I regret saying it...