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Thread: Tea or T Time

  1. #1
    Paula Paula_56's Avatar
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    Tea or T Time

    I typically am a little sad this time of year when so many of my sisters are meeting each other and enjoying Fantasia Fair out on Cape Cod. However this year, although I didn’t attend, I had a great time while I was a broad (I’m sorry couldn’t resist the pun). It’s a shame my sense of humor never evolved past the 2nd grade.

    I was lucky enough to find myself traveling to the UK for business last month and had such a great time there last spring when I went out several times as Paula that I decided to give it another go as the Brits say.

    I kept my clothes packed in a separate garment bag on the bottom of my suitcase. I had no trouble whatsoever with customs while traveling with wig, makeup, breast forms and women’s clothes. I brought along a new wool Pendleton suit that I found in a thrift store for the remarkable price of $10. I truly couldn’t wait to get out as Paula; my last time out was in June and I just needed to get my girl on.

    My plane landed at 6:30 AM London time and I was in my hotel by 9 AM. I took a two-hour nap and when I woke up, jumped into the shower. When I went to the closet to get dressed I had my choice, Dockers and a cotton Henley or Black Liz Claiborne slacks paired with a Pendleton wool blazer. So I thought about it for about 1/1000th of a second and then pulled out the slacks and blazer. It just felt so right, sisters; why wait until tomorrow as I had planned. It just seemed so right this way.

    There was one little kink (pun intended) in my plan, the Lee press-on nails that Stana recommends and which I always use, were nowhere to be found before leaving home. Instead, I bought the glue-on type. I had packed only one box and needed them for Sunday evening when Jenny and I planned dinner and a concert. The French manicure looks fabulous and the glue-on nails looked great as a finishing touch. Little did I know I just painted myself into a corner and would be forced to spend the whole weekend as a woman?

    I didn’t have any adventures planned for the day, just a list of errands that needed to be run in preparation for my week ahead. My first stop was the supermarket (Sainsbury’s) to buy some groceries for the week. I navigated the aisles of the grocery store like a veteran housewife would. Stopping to ask for the location of the yogurt and being assisted with a smile.

    Back to the apartment and unload the bags. Fix my hair and makeup and out the door riding the elevator down with another couple. This time I was off to the train station to buy my tickets for my daily commute. My heart sank when the woman behind the glass finished our pleasant transaction with a quiet, “Thank you, sir.”

    I had ridden into the train station on a pink cloud, and now I stood there stunned feeling foolish. She handed me the tickets and I chirped out a thank you. Shaken I decided to push forward and take a trial ride to my office on the train. I was a bit unnerved as I approached the turnstile where one inserts their ticket.

    To my dread the ticket was rejected and the gate didn’t open. Here came a railroad official, I’m sure to arrest me for a multitude of imagined offenses. However, when he approached he asked for my ticket “Ma’ am.” Yes, he said “Ma’am” and then after he reset the gate, he bid me well with a “G’day Madam.” Off I went with faith restored in my womanhood.

    It was fun sitting on the train shoulder-to-shoulder with other travelers and being perceived as a woman. Using the reflection of the window to check the reaction of others sitting near me, I notice nothing. Noses buried in books, bored looks, and the iPod stare.

    Arriving at my stop after a short ride and changing platforms, I rode back with the same uneventful excitement.

    Arriving back I realized that I hadn’t eaten in over 20 hours. I stopped at a delightful sidewalk cafe and was greeted once again with a Ma’am by the hostesses and then again by the waitress. Wow, that was four feminine pronouns in a row, one more and I get a free set of steak knives!

    Riding the crest of this pronoun wave, I ordered some pasta and a glass of wine, then another glass of wine. I felt wonderful as I watched crowds of people moving to and from the train station. Seeing so many fashionable women and knowing I was finally one of them was a joy.

    By now my feet were killing me, so I went back to my apartment to freshen up. I checked email, called home and did some general housekeeping. Usually at this point in my outings, I would shower and change back into boy mode, then go out and have dinner. However, I realized that my nails were glued on and if I took them off, I wouldn’t have a pair for my outing the next day with Jenny.

    I was between a rock and hard place here and felt kind of trap. I drummed my nails on table and realized if I was going to eat dinner that night, it was going to be as girl. Oh well… a good problem to have!paula-uk-2

    I went over to the mall and bought some black hose for the next day and then perused the dresses at Debenhams. Finally I made my way over to a local Italian restaurant and had pleasant dinner along with a few glasses of wine. Finally exhausted and weary, I headed back to the apartment, showered and undressed.

    Coming out of the shower I put on the satin PJ’s my wife had bought me for Christmas a few years ago and replayed the days events as I slipped into a peaceful sleep.

    I had a great night’s sleep and woke up refreshed and cheerful. I made coffee and turned on the BBC to check the weather and news.

    One thing I noticed about myself as I woke up that morning: I was still in girl mode. Waking up after yesterday adventures, wearing feminine PJ’s with my French manicure, I felt so feminine and womanly. In the past I always gave myself an assignment to walk this way, hold my hands a certain way or sit as a lady. In other words, act more feminine. This morning I wasn’t acting feminine, I was feminine.

    I could have easily worn jeans and a T-shirt and stuffed my hands into my pockets to hide my nails. In fact in the past, I probably would have. But today it just felt natural to reach for a dress. I love getting ready, makeup, foundation, dress, jewelry, hair, a splash of Channel --- what a confirming ritual. Off I went onto the streets of Reading.

    I wanted to go to church, but found I was late, so I went by the church as it was letting out. I sat on a bench, enjoyed being part of the Sunday crowd and enjoyed the beautiful grounds and history of this beautiful structure.

    If you have been paying attention and you are a regular reader of my articles, you’ll know there is one place I haven’t stopped by yet. That’s right, sisters M·A·C. The day before the M·A·C store had been so busy I could not get in. When I went by this Sunday morning, it was empty.

    I asked the makeup artist about matching a lip pencil to the lipstick that I had brought with me. She found two shades. I asked if she could try them on me. “SURE!” was her response. We sat down in front of the mirror and she began to create a cupid’s bow.

    I explained to her that I had trouble making a cupid’s bow.

    She chirped back, “Well I’ve been doing this since I was 12 years old!”

    We both had a great laugh when I smiled and said, “So have I!”

    I went on to tell her that when I was a child, I had tried my Mom’s makeup and my sister’s clothes and that I always wanted to be a woman and now I was doing my best to fulfill that dream. I explained to her my plan was to spend as much time as possible that week as a woman.

    She was so positive and reaffirming, “You look so good; go out there and enjoy the day.”

    She asked me all kinds of questions about America and said it was her dream to live there someday.

    Well I thought, “We both have the same dream --- you want to live in America as a woman and so do I!”

    We both chuckled at the paradox and its truth. A few minutes later at the check-out I said, “Good-bye and good luck with your dream!”

    A big smile flashed across her face as she said, “You, too, you, too!”

    I shopped my way thru Debenhams and House of Frazer, Zara and a whirlwind of other stores. Then I stopped at Marks and Spencer and bought some fresh fruit. Finally around 2 PM, I made my way back to the apartment to rest a spell before meeting up with Jenny for dinner and a concert.

    I made my way to the front of the hotel to meet Jenny at 4 PM.

    She was right on time and in order for Jenny to use the car park at my hotel, I needed to advise the front desk. Being in the apartment section of the hotel, my phone wasn’t part of the switchboard. I tried numerous ways to contact them over the phone with no success. I really didn’t want to out myself to them, but if need be, I would.

    A few years ago when I first started to go out as a woman, one of my biggest fears was forgetting my key and having to go up to the front desk to get another. Nowadays, it doesn’t bother me at all; to tell the truth, I kind of like doing it. I chalk it up to self-acceptance.

    Thinking there would be one lone clerk on duty was not the case. There were about five employees huddled around the desk when I walked in. I got better service and attention then when I was drab. They even offered to drive the car around. What was lovely is nobody reacted in anyway other than me being a woman nicely dressed for the theater.

    Jenny and I made our way over to a riverside park to take a few photos. It was fun taking a bunch of photos and not having to use a self-timer. It was then back to the hotel and an adjacent restaurant for a charming Italian dinner. The same restaurant I dined in the night before and was Ma’amed, but I noticed tonight when the check came they slipped up on the pronouns and used “Sir.” Being properly gendered is so important to me, so I hope it was because of the name on the credit card.

    We had about a 20-minute walk (in heels) to the theater. Appearing was the London Concert Orchestra performing a program of James Bond theme songs. We had a pleasant stroll through the pedestrian mall of the Reading shopping district. It was Sunday evening and the crowds were thinning as we made our way along with other ladies and couples to the concert.

    We bought our tickets at the box office and had a pleasant conversation with two women our age about the performance and our nails. We found ourselves a table and enjoyed a glass of wine while waiting. Jenny works as a professional musician and as she was reading the program for the evening, her eyes opened wide when she saw the name of a colleague! I would have fun during the concert teasing Jenny about being seen. I have to get my digs in somehow --- I still can’t get over the fact she wears a size 7 shoe!

    The concert was fantastic and having a professional musician there to explain all the subtleties of the program was wonderful. Going to a concert was on my bucket list of things to do as a woman and made me feel very good about myself and how far I had traveled on the Good Ship Lollipop.

    Walking back thru the deserted streets of Reading at 10 PM made me realize what it feels like to be vulnerable as a woman. Wearing high heels, hose, a dress and carrying a purse doesn’t allow one quick movement. Walking past bus stops and doorways filled with nefarious looking characters chilled me inside.

    As much as I love dressing glamorously, it makes one question the illogical dress and uniforms that society and our culture assigns women. Nervetheless, I’ve waited too long to wear my bra to turn around and burn it in protest. I respect and admire women and that’s why I want to be one. That whole experience makes me identify even more with them.

    Monday morning came early. My feet still ached from walking all weekend in heels, my nails were a wreck from the glue, and there were traces of eye liner left on my eyes. I felt great!

    It was a bit surreal as I went through my day in a daze. I was tired and when I got back to the room, I showered, then shaved and laid on the couch for awhile.

    paula-uk-4 Soon rested and hungry I hesitated only slightly when deciding what to wear. Opportunities like this week don’t come along too often for me and makeup and dressing was no longer the ordeal they had once had been for me. It was now a pleasurable routine that could be accomplished in less than an hour.

    Luck was with me and I found a pair of Lee Press-on Nails in a seldom used section of my purse.

    I spent the next two nights like this --- coming home, showering, resting, dressing and then out for a stroll through the local shops with dinner at Miller and Carters Steakhouse. They had great food and treated me like such a lady. The waitstaff was very professional and attentive and the second night there, I was greeted back with, “Good Evening, Ms. Gaikowski.”

    The capstone to my trip was to come on Wednesday when a meeting that was scheduled was canceled. This left me with a free day.

    I debated with myself; I wasn’t up for a day in London all dolled up. That meant going drab, however, there was another choice: the city of Bath was an hour train ride away. A delightful town with Roman Baths, a Medieval Abby and cobblestone streets filled with cute shops. The answer was obvious: it was Bath time!

    Since my feet were blistered from walking in my new heels all weekend, I wore my riding boots with my new Pendleton jacket and skirt. Tights and stocking have lessened in popularity back in the US but here in the UK black tights and hose are de rigueur. One of the many reasons I love the UK.

    My train journey was uneventful other than the fact that I noticed women tend to sit with women, and on my busy train I had several women sit next and around me during the journey.

    At the train station I bought a map and made my way toward Bath Abby and Roman Baths. I stopped for lunch in a traditional English pub and had fish and chips, of course. After lunch I was wandering around trying to get my bearings when I was approached by a hawker for the hop-on-hop-off bus tours around the city. Cute and friendly, I could not resist buying a ticket. I had always enjoyed tours like these and especially the chance to meet others when you travel alone.

    Seating myself demurely out of the way towards the back of the bus, I was ready for my tour of Bath. I decided that I want to see the Roman Baths, Bath Abbey and also visit the Jane Austen Center. About two stops later, a couple of American women about my age got onto the bus. As the bus rocked and swayed thru the narrow and twisting streets of this historical city, we all tried to gauge our whereabouts by way of our maps.

    One of the ladies leaned over and asked, “Excuse me do you know what stop or where the Jane Austen Center is?”

    Hearing her familiar accent, I knew right off she was from my home state of New Jersey. I responded with equal exasperation, holding the map upside down for comic relief. Soon Sharon, Janet and I were huddled in conference over a map.

    Looking up for a second, I saw a young woman in a Victorian costume standing outside the Jane Austen Center.

    “There, there, there!” I pointed and soon the three of us were off the bus and walking toward the museum. I learned that Janet and Sharon were from the same area of New Jersey that I had grown up in. They were both divorced, one recent and one not so recent and worked at an arts and cultural center at one of the state universities. They had come to the UK for a conference down the road in Oxford, had the afternoon off and decided to visit Bath.

    I had a great time touring the Jane Austen Center. I had always enjoyed the movies watching Pride and Prejudice and Mansfield Park with my wife. I love the clothes and the romanticism of it all. I’ve even read the book Pride and Prejudice.

    As I pointed out earlier, I felt that my innate femininity was coming to the surface. I was feeling emotions that I had concealed and masked for so many years. It was fun to enjoy the exhibits and costumes with other women. I realized that it wasn’t bad to be feminine.

    I rode the bus with Sharon and Janet for several more stops. Along the way, I learned our paths had crossed many times growing in New Jersey. We had attended some of the same concerts, night clubs and Jersey Shores haunts.

    As we chatted, anytime I spoke about an event that involved an ex-girl or my wife, I would substitute boyfriend or husband. “Oh I had a boyfriend who worked there one summer.” It was surprisingly validating to say that and it made me smile.

    The last two stops were Bath Abby, which dates back to the 1100s and then the Roman Baths. Historically fascinating, I enjoyed them both. I parted ways with my two new girlfriends at the Abbey.

    I’m not sure what they thought of me. Although they accepted me as one of the girls, after any amount of time with me, it has to be clear that I’m not your average gal. They both were well-educated and come from a progressive environment, so I suspect that I was not the first transgender person they met. Their kindness and friendship did wonderful things for my self-esteem and self-image. It would have been a remarkable afternoon to visit Bath even drab. They helped make it even more special.

    I was happy to be back on the train and resting my weary feet after a week of high heels and boots. I put on my iPod and was soon lulled into dreaminess by the English countryside and the rhythm of the train. It had been an incredible and memorable week and as I reflected over the events of the last few days, the theme from Disney’s Frozen came on my iPod. I never really listen closely to the words, but now after a week as Paula, they rang true to heart as no song has ever done before:

    Couldn't keep it in
    Heaven knows I tried

    Don't let them in, don't let them see
    Be the good girl you always had to be
    Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know
    Well now they know

    Let it go, let it go
    Can't hold it back anymore
    Let it go, let it go
    Attached Images Attached Images

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    What a great adventure, Paula! You look wonderful too!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  3. #3
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    Hi Paula,
    I've been following your trip on "femulate" sounds like a great trip and thanks for repeating here
    Adelaide

  4. #4
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing your trip

  5. #5
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    Hi Paula!

    You look absoluttely terrific! Totally "normal." And I love the dog looking over your shoulder picture!

    It looks like you had a wonderful time! What a great post!

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  6. #6
    Member Martina's Avatar
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    Hi Paula,
    Thank you for telling us about your trip to the UK it sounds like you had a wonderfull time here and your day to Bath and going along with two other ladies you met must have been the iceing on the cake.

    Martina
    Last edited by Martina; 11-15-2014 at 03:57 AM.
    The girl my Mother longed for trapped inside a boys body If she had only known I was there.

  7. #7
    Member CarleyR's Avatar
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    Wonderful story. Wish I could do something like it. Thanks for sharing!
    I love myself in curves!

  8. #8
    Senior Member Bria's Avatar
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    Thanks for a great story! BTW all of the pics look great, I'd never guess a CD.

    Hugs, Bria

  9. #9
    Banned Read only
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    When you have an adventure you go all out . It sounds like a lovely time was had by all.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    A good story Paula,
    It made very interesting reading for me.
    I get to foist my presence on the Brits in a few weeks time also.

    Trouble is I make eye contact on the tube and speak to other passengers.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  11. #11
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    Hi Paula

    Loved reading your story. How great to be able to spend so much time as time as the real you. My very first time out as Alison was in Bath. such a fabulous city to explore. I remember it so well. So exciting, I just loved the feeling of being totally anonymous just another tourist among many but fully dressed en femme! Fabulous!
    Unfortunately, there has been little opportunity for Alison to get out and about since, but I too will always have lovely memories of Bath.

    Alison x

  12. #12
    Happy to be me!! S. Lisa Smith's Avatar
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    I love your adventures!!! I went to FF and while I had a WONDERFUL time, it pales in comparison!!
    Please call me Lisa!

  13. #13
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Paula,

    Great post and it sounds like with the exception of the one "sir" things went very well for you.

    Hugs

    Isha

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Jackie7's Avatar
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    Great thread Paula and isnt England a lovely place? I lived there for two years in the early 90s but I was closeted then so never went out enfemme. You make me want to go back.

  15. #15
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    Paula, Superb story.Thank you for posting.
    Just one thing that I would like you to tell all of us... how did you get on using the ladies toilets when you were out and about.

    Julie.

  16. #16
    Paula Paula_56's Avatar
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    I used the loo on the train, drank very little, and used the ladies room in pub I ate lunch at.

  17. #17
    Member MichelleDevon's Avatar
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    Paula, loved reading your account of your stay in the UK. Next time you are over this side of The Pond - you must come down to the West Country - or maybe I will come to join you. I love spending girlie time out and, like you, I have grown out of feeling embarrassed or ashamed of being my alter ego.

    Michelle is happy anywhere, anytime ...but going to the toilet is one thing that still leaves me feeling slightly uncomfortable. Trains are no problem (assuming they are not so crowded you cannot get to the toilet) because they are unisex. Where facilities are gender specific I always feel a little nervous walking into the ladies, although I have never been challenged or been aware of any suspicion of ill-feeling towards me. I often opt for the disabled toilet on the basis that that is not gender-specific...but if there is only one in a busy location that doesn't seem right.

    I particularly loved the way you suddenly realised you were locked into Paula mode with your nails - brilliant! But oh so hard on the feet...

    And those pronouns - yes, indeed - how nice when they get it right and address you with a feminine pronoun. BUt I remember a group of tgirls going out to an excellent Indian restaurant in Exeter and the poor waiter just couldn't get his head around it - spent the whole evening addressing us, infuriatingly, as sir!!!! NEver been back there since! - don't care how good it was/is.

    Came upon this whilst sitting feeling sorry for myself on the sofa - spent the night and much of the morning running to and from the toilet with a stomach upset and doing a fair impression of death warmed up right now so this was a real uplift for my spirits...

    Thanks Paula...love to meet up here or there for some girlie time

    Michelle
    xxx

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    A good story Paula,
    It made very interesting reading for me.
    I get to foist my presence on the Brits in a few weeks time also.

    Trouble is I make eye contact on the tube and speak to other passengers.
    Ha ha, don't do it Beverly Nothing makes Londoners more uncomfortable than eye contact and speaking on the tube. I remember being on a crowded train in London that came to a halt between stations. I was astonished at the complete silence, eventually broken by a black gentleman who suddenly complained: 'This is disgraceful.' Only then did people begin to talk. Mostly they just buried their heads in their paperbacks and Evening Standards.

    Great story Paula. It does help that you look great of course. It's inspirational to me and as I said in my now mysteriously deleted thread about getting out and about in cities sometimes we worry overmuch about people's reactions even if they do realise things aren't what they seem.

    I am now seriously planning a day out en femme in my native city of Dublin sometime soon. While it's not as anonymous as London and I know for a fact people will talk to me because Dublin is more friendly than London. I do feel I can have fun with it. It's also handy that I know exactly the places to avoid. Like you I plan to whirl through Debenhams, M&S, Zara and our own Brown Thomas and Clerys. I doubt if I'll have the money to spend unless I win the lottery between now and then. Most likely I will end up in Penneys as Primark is called here. Cheap and cheerful!

    We don't have a tube but we have trams and they stop right beside Dundrum shopping centre which has my favourite shop for male or female clothes: Massimo Dutti.

    Stories like yours really encourage me.

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