A first that means a lot to me.

[Emma Beth]

I just read and commented in another thread and got to thinking about firsts.

I got to thinking about some of my own firsts. Like when I first considered myself female. When I first put on that item of clothing, etc.

To begin; I got started on this path almost two years ago with my first nightgown and now I have a drawer full of sleepwear and another one full of underwear and other things that I wear underneath. Not to mention a few pieces of jeans and things. No make up yet, but I do have some hair accessories that I use and do some simple things with my hair that make me feel wonderful. After all, don't we all want to feel wonderful with how we look?

I do have a lot of steps in the works and I plan on starting HRT sometime next year by June.

Yesterday I had another first. Now this one isn't a gender specific first. This first is one that my wife and I declared years ago we would never do, yet we started earlier this year and we have come a long way.

We started ear stretching, and we are now up to size 2 gauge and we intend to only go up two more sizes. Which, by our next anniversary, we will be up to size 00 gauge (Which is 10 mm metric, 3/8" imperial.). I can hear some of the "eww gross" comments that a few of you may be saying at your computer screens as you read what I posted.

Any way, back to my first, I finally put in my first double saddle plugs yesterday. They are a pair of double saddle sabo wood 2 gauge tunnel plugs, that when I can no longer wear them in my ears I plan to turn them into a bracelet, so I have them always.

For some reason, this particular first means a lot to me in my own journey. I don't know why,it just does.

I was wondering, "What first in your own journey has or had the most sentimental value to you? What did you do to keep that first alive or with you? How does the memory of that first make you feel?"

The first I speak of doesn't necessarily have to be directly transition related, like the plugs I now have in my own ears, but you feel a deep connection to as part of your transition.

Thank you and I look forward to seeing what others have to say.

[Jorja]

My firsts were so long ago I have forgotten most of them. Now days I consider lasts. What is the last thing I am going to do before I pass? I have spent my life trying to live up to this saying, One day your life is going to pass before your eyes, Make sure it is worth watching - Gerard Way

[I Am Paula]

I bought some black patent pumps in about 1980. They were my first really girly thing I bought. I only threw them out a couple of years ago. I hadn't worn them for years, and they were fixed with duct tape.

[PretzelGirl]

For me, I would have to say the first time I got out of the house. That was the springboard for a lot of things for me, most important was just having a feeling that I could be myself and everything would be okay.

[Starling]

The first time I ever dressed fully was a true epiphany, which I've discussed elsewhere on the forum. But the first time I revealed myself to anyone else was big for me, too. I visited an old friend who I knew was TS-accepting, and spent a wonderful evening with her and two other women she knew. After a few minutes, during which my friend explained the situation, they accepted me as a woman and treated me as if they had known me for years.

The next milestone--when I actually interacted with the general public--was my first gender therapy appointment, which as expected gave my self-awareness and confidence a boost. It ceased being theoretical, this true identity of mine, and became a lived experience.

I began going out more and more often, started HRT and came out to some close friends; and it became easier and easier to relax and just be. I don't know just yet what the future holds, but whatever happens it will be my next first.

Lallie

[Dianne S]

There are some "firsts" that stick in my mind. The first time I wore real breast forms, I was amazed. The feeling was like nothing on earth.

The next big first happened almost exactly a year ago. It was my first time dancing en femme. At that party, that's when it clicked and I realized I wanted to live as and be accepted as a woman, not just dress as one occasionally.

I started spiro back in August and that was a fairly big first. I plan on starting hormones in the spring and I'm sure that'll be big. I can't wait for the "first" when I can get rid of my breast forms and fill a bra myself [hoping the hormones work...]. That will close the circle of firsts.