It was time.

[Brooke B]

So today I had to work at early in the morning. I got up late and was running behind, forgot my phone at home. No big deal. It was not a good day and got home late. When I got home the first thing my wife asks is "Are you a cross dresser?". "I was going through your phone and who is this?". There was the picture of the last time I dresse. I knew it was time. After all the time spent here reading I just knew it was time to tell her. At the moment I said "what are you talking about.". I beyed myself
twenty minutes, enough time to drop my kid off with a sitter. Went home and explained myself. It went ok but better than i expexcted. She was in total shock. She assured me shes ok but a little weirded out. We left it at that so we could pick up our child but I know we still have to talk about it. Just don't know how long to leave it go before we talk about it again. Her biggest concern was where I got the wig from.

[Nicole Erin]

There will be more talks but none of them will be as bad as the first conversation, especially since she found your phone with Cd stuff on it. Future chats may be arguments or pleasant or whatever. Coming out is the worst part so now with THAT out of the way, you can focus on other dynamics of this. I do think the next time you two talk, it would be a good time to get everything out on the table, even if it's embarrassing or whatever.

EDIT - why would she be worried about where the wig came from?

[MissTee]

Next few months will likely be a roller-coaster of emotions. Good luck!

[docrobbysherry]

U must urge her to voice her questions and concerns. If she doesn't, she may assume THE WORST!

[LelaK]

Yeah, I don't think the wig was her greatest concern, if any. She likely just wasn't comfortable discussing yet what might embarrass you or herself. I think Doc is likely right.

[Jenniferathome]

... Her biggest concern was where I got the wig from.

No, that was all she could get out. She doesn't know what ALL her concerns are. Take the next earliest opportunity when you child is not around but you two have some time and ask her if she would like to ask any questions. Answer all of them, honestly.

Good luck

[Teresa]

Tammy,
Before she got to wig question did she go through the usual fears of being gay and wanting to transition ?
If not have you thought it through so you can hopefully give her some plausible answers ?
I always wanted to know about my Cding so when the outing came I just didn't say I can't help it or it's just something I need to do without any explanation !

[angelfire]

Talking will definitely be important, and I am sure there will be an abundance of that in your near future. Honesty is probably your best bet now. She will probably be hurt that you hid it for so long from her, perhaps more hurt that you hid it, than the fact that you crossdress in and of itself.

[Krisi]

There should be a set of rules somewhere that we have to read before we start crossdressing in secret. One should be "Don't take pictures of your self dressed and leave them on your phone, camera or computer. And don't post them on the Internet.

Well, at least you don't have to hide it any more.

[tifftg]

I hid my dressing for over twenty years, I left some makeup brushes out by mistake. She had been out of town for a few days and I had quite the dressing session. I confessed everything. I had been seeing a therapist for this and some other issues and we went together for some counseling. I thought ok now it will be good, my wife knows and I will really be able to explore. She hates, we kind of have DADT relationship but I know she does not want me enfemme. I don't want to lose her and my dressing is a strong part of who I am.

Good luck, know that you have support here and stay open to her and who you are.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

You don't mention feeling shocked or offended that she went through your phone. I'd be curious to know why she did. Has she no sense of boundaries, or do you routinely go through each other's phones? Was she suspicious of you on some level?

I'd also wonder if leaving such easily findable evidence was Tammy's way of bringing herself out of the closet.

As everyone else says, be totally honest now with her. Any further lies or omissions will be found out, and will make matters worse. Plenty of reassurance that you love her, nobody bought you the wig, it's all about you; and you're not about to turn into a screaming queen.

Unless you are about to turn into a screaming queen, that is