public reaction

[Majella St Gerard]

I don't even notice the double takes anymore. Went to the mall the other day with the beautiful wife, dressed in ripped girl bell bottoms over fishnet hose, black 3 in heel boots black bra c-cup under crocheted green sweater, nails painted, make up on and girly glasses with pearl chain. Went to several stores and ate at the food court. I'm sure people looked, but I'm so used to going out dressed now I don't notice it any more. I had to ask the wife later if I was getting the "LOOK" from anyone, she said oh yeah. Nothing was said to me about my attire the whole time we were out, people just take it in stride. Next time I'll wear a dress or a skirt to the mall and see how that goes. Sadly we didn't take any photos, and I looked really cute and everything.

[ChristinaK]

I have found that the more I go out, the less I care about the looks. It seems like most people don't even notice, but the ones that do might look, but haven't ever said anything. Last week I was wearing a woman's polo, jeans, shoes and ladies reading glasses in guy mode. My nails were painted bright pink by my daughter last weekend with blue polka dots. As I was being taken care of by an SA, a guy about my age, really manly with a flat top and huge arms, stared me up and down with obvious disgust. He had dropped the broom he was cleaning up with to stand near me and stare. I had to keep myself from laughing. Never would have believed my own reaction a year ago. I wasn't even uncomfortable, just amused.

The last time I went food shopping en femme, a young couple stared from the side and talked together about me. Again I was amused, not horrified. I wondered what they said to each other. I'm sure it made their day and gave them something to relay to their friends and family. But, I enjoy it most when NOBODY seems to notice and I can simply feel like the woman I want to be.

[Courtneigh]

Why is it that most of us cannot do that ? We care or worry to much about who and what they will say, why ?
We have all these beautiful quotes a ou how we are all different and we should all do as we see fit and not be bothered.

I guess that maybe 2 out of a 100 really live their own lives, the rest of are ruled by society !!! Why ???

[Lillyasia]

Two weekends ago I went to the mall Saturday morning when things were still slow. Maybe I should have waited until the mall got more busy. Since there were not many shoppers yet, I got a big stare from one lady walking towards me and one from an independent vendor with one of the carts. He stared at me all the way until I passed him and he still was at it. As long as they don't say or do anything it's okay.

[Amanda_P]

I went to Wal-Mart with my girlfriend and the only comment I heard was from a couple teens. I was really over dressed for Wal-Mart but needed to pick up a few things.

[Katey888]

Why is it that most of us cannot do that ? We care or worry to much about who and what they will say, why ?

Good question Courtneigh... some of it depends on our environment - there are surely some places where it would be positively dangerous and idiotic to flaunt our differences... on the other hand, most places are probably safe and generally people are too wrapped up in their own little world to notice us.

Put it down a lot of the time to the overactive imaginations of those of us who think a lot (or too much... )

Nice experience, Majella - Myrtle Beach looks a nice place... would it be fair to say a bit of a semi-bohemian tourist spot? That probably accounts for some of the acceptance...

Katey x

[MichelleDevon]

Public reaction? They don't care? They may look and notice and they will have thoughts inside their heads but for 99% of the population that is where thoughts will stay - and quite rightly so.

I have seen men out and about who look really unattractive, total lack of care in how they dress, often with a wife/partner/SO who has clearly made an effort - do I say anything? Never.

I see girls with bulging bare midriffs, girls with tree trunk legs below a micro-mini which is scarcely deep enough to be called a belt, I see ladies wearing things which really really don't go together. Do I say anything? Never.

Someone sees me in a skirt and heels. Do they anything? Never.

Honestly, girls - the world can think what it likes - you are immune from everyone else's thoughts unless you have supernatural skills.

I wrote elsewhere about my experience in a shop a week and a half ago. I was there as Michelle, sorting of minding my own business (actually I was talking to a complete stranger and encouraging her to try on a dress I had just tried!) when a total stranger came smiling over to me, put her arms around my neck and kissed me on each cheek - "That's just because you're you", she said. Public reaction can be very positive as well as the negative that dogs us before we dare venture out.

Michelle has been out there for almost 7 years and I can honestly say I have never, in that time, had any adverse comment. OK, people look at me but I am 6'4" before I put any shoes on so I expect to be noticed...

And remember the Oscar Wilde quote "there is only one thing worse than be talked about; that's not being talked about". If someone wants to talk about me being a crossdresser, yes please, bring it on - I can talk for hours! People, especially ladies, are more often genuinely interested and are really complimentary about us being "honest" and out there.

Michelle
xxx

[Marcelle]

Hi Majella,

Great story. To be honest I have given up worrying about what people think when they look at me. For the most part people don't even notice and it is not because I look like a woman (au contraire) it is because they are too busy with their own lives to even worry about looking around. I sat on a bus one time and looked around, most people were in bus mode (staring off into oblivion, listening to music or just reading). Those who do notice and do the old double take, hushed whispers, slight giggles I have no problem with. The only time I take exception is if the person is overtly rude and is making a scene (pointing, yelling, mocking) but that is a rare event.

Hugs

Isha

[angelfire]

I've only really been out in public dressed a few times. The first time, I was downtown for Pride. Had to stop in at a store on my way to buy socks, because my shoes ripped the skin from the back of my heels (They were ballet flats no less!). No reaction. As I was walking from the mall to pride, I had a homeless man ask me for money. I said "No, sorry", and then he asked "Are you a boy or a girl?" I told him I was a boy (Figured I was downtown on pride, so what the hell?). He said "I really couldn't tell". I'm pretty sure my voice was a dead give away, it needs some work.

Another time I went to a gay bar with some friends. On our way from their place to the club, there was a group of guys across the street, and they were all laughing hysterically. My friend turns to me and says "I am going to go over there and give them a piece of my mind. Making fun of a friend doesn't fly with me." but I stopped him. "Look at it rationally. It is currently like 10:30pm. It is dark. They are across the street. They are almost certainly drunk. I very much doubt they even noticed me across the street, much less would be making fun of me from that kind of distance. One of them probably just said something funny."

I think I pass well enough to at least avoid being read from a distance. Or until I open my mouth. I wear age appropriate clothing, I don't wear heels out (I'm already 6'1 without them). Hell, I was wear jeans & a blouse, and flats both times I was out. Up close, you might notice a bit of beard shadow or something.

[Majella St Gerard]

Good question Courtneigh... some of it depends on our environment - there are surely some places where it would be positively dangerous and idiotic to flaunt our differences... on the other hand, most places are probably safe and generally people are too wrapped up in their own little world to notice us.

Put it down a lot of the time to the overactive imaginations of those of us who think a lot (or too much... )

Nice experience, Majella - Myrtle Beach looks a nice place... would it be fair to say a bit of a semi-bohemian tourist spot? That probably accounts for some of the acceptance...

Katey

Thanks, Myrtle Beach is red neck central, but I have to say, so far very tolerant. Just have to know where not to go.

[Beverley Sims]

I find most accept that you are "different".

[Suzanne F]

I want to thrive out in the world not just bear it. Sure there are negative reactions but I see and feel them less and less. I am out all of the time except when seeing customers or meeting with other company personnel. If I didn't develop the ability to miss these reactions I couldn't function. I try to turn it around. If someone looks at me inquisitively or with a kind smile I look straight at them with a big smile and my head held up. Yes I am transgender but I am happy and alive! If I notice a smirk or a mean thought I try to look straight ahead with no reaction and move on. Yes there will be some bad incidents over the course of my remaining lifetime but with support I will face them.