Soul Mates

[LelaK]

Who here have found their soul mates? (I've never had a mate, but keep looking.)

Does anyone have a soul mate who's not accepting of crossdressing?

Would anyone care to have more than one soul mate at the same time?

Do soul mates necessarily have sexual relations?

Is anything better than having a soul mate or two? If so, what?
(--- Is crossdressing better?)

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I'm not sure I believe in the concept of soulmates, but I love my wife very much, even though she isn't thrilled about my cd. I certainly don't think sex is an obligatory part of loving another person, and it can certainly spoil a friendship.

Good luck with your search Lela!

[kimdl93]

As Nikki said, the concept of soul mate is a bit overly romanticized, but many of us, myself included, have very rewarding and enduring long term relationships. As one gets older, the nature of the relationship evolves. The level of youthful intimacy may wane, or take on different dimensions. But the depth of friendship and sharing can grow.

Some people are comfortable with living alone, gaining their social contacts from a circle of friends. That's fine. I am happier with one very close relationship and my extended family.

[Kate Simmons]

Basically what they call a soul mate is someone who you know you belong with through and through. You know in every fiber of your being.

[Ressie]

I've heard different definitions of "soul mate". Some people say one can have several soul mates, I think of it as singular myself. But I don't really believe in that concept either. I believe there are many people that have personalities that are very compatible with other people. And there are ideal relationships where both encourage each other to do the things they want in life.

[Tina B.]

Yes I have found my soul mate, and she is accepting of my dressing, in fact is a strong supporter of it.
One soul mate has proven to be enough for me.
Sex isn't necessary, but it's nice.
A soul mate makes the dressing better, not the other way round.

[Nadine Spirit]

I don't really believe in the concept of soul mates. If I believe in anything it is the interconnectedness of the universe. We are all made up of stardust and thus all one and the same.

I am married; to a very accepting spouse. We have known each other since 8, dating since 15, together now for 28 years and plan to be married til death due us part. As long as I have that, I don't need to believe in some vague notion of a soul mate. I have a reality mate. Ha-ha!

[Annaliese]

My wife is tolerant, I think we are soul mates, we finish each other sentences, go every were together. At this point in our lives sexual relations are not important, could one have more that one soul mate, yes I do think so.

[Jackie7]

My wife is my soul mate and my life partner. She enriches my life in so many ways and I try to do the same for her. We were best friends for eight years before we married in 2010. Sexing together is great but we would be soul mates even without it.
Could a person have more than one soul mate? Absolutely. I am interviewing candidates now, lol.

[Bria]

I've never quite know just what a soulmate is, I've been married to my wife for 38 years and don't plan to change that even though she isn't thrilled with the CD' One at a time is plenty for me!

Hugs, Bria

[mariehart]

I used to think my wife might be my soulmate. Early on in our relationship it seemed like that. We were extremely comfortable in each other's presence right from the first time we met. We never argued and I never ever felt even slightly uncomfortable around her. Being with her was a constant pleasure and I was happy for the first time in my life. We spoke freely and we had a shared intimacy.

But that changed. It's not as if we live in a state of constant tension now or that we even argue. But she seems different particularly since she had the children. We still talk but usually it's her issues we talk about. If I have something to say she either dismisses it or gets angry and refuses to discuss it. This was all long before she knew about my crossdressing too. Needless to say that subject is never addressed. But almost nothing I have to say is of interest to her unless it's about the children. She doesn't even pretend to be interested in anything I have to say. She's not being deliberately nasty, it's more thoughtless than anything. I'm just there for her and my problems are of no interest.

The net result is that I'm completely isolated. I moved to her home town and have no friends here or family. So outside of her or the children. I only speak to members of her family and have no outlet at all except drinking or using the PC.

So she's not my soulmate, although I suspect she might think I'm one of them. She's far more likely to go out with her old school friends than ever go out for an evening with me. When it does happen it's like she can't wait to get home and rarely has much to say to me. I had several women friends over the years. Not girlfriends but friends and we were closer than she is to me. Your soulmate if such a thing exists can be anyone not just the person you spend your life with.

So I wouldn't bother looking for anything as cosy and romantic as a soul mate. Leave it to the rom com movies and books. They are fiction after all.

[Lorileah]

Who here have found their soul mates? (I've never had a mate, but keep looking.)

I have found mine...twice. Which answers

Would anyone care to have more than one soul mate at the same time?

because I was involved with both at the same time.

Do soul mates necessarily have sexual relations?

I did but the answer to that is "no". It just is a piece of the puzzle


If you don't believe then you probably haven't found them. Over romanticized? Never. It is someone you know you will be with forever (as long as you can anyway...both of mine are gone). They were both people I knew when I met them would be with me.

Yes I am a romantic. I believe in happily ever afters. They aren't given to you you have to work for them and nurture them on BOTH sides. Trust me, now that I don't have either one of them, it is very hard to even find someone who isn't but will "suffice".

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I use the term of, "I won the soulmate mega mega millions jack pot lottery" in finding my wife. Not to sound to Freudian, but going with that saying most men marrying their mothers (not in physical appearance but in mannerism's), and it seems in my case I most definitely did that. Of special besides the supporting and accepting me, I remember on one occasion being injured at work, and I asked if she could pick me up. She immediately informed her employer she would be leaving drove some 50-60 miles to pick me up, and just like my mother will do, demand I see an eye doctor immediately, and make sure I'm following all of my at home care instructions. Including no wearing mascara or eye shadow on the injured eye.

[Jaylyn]

I know that the stars aligned and I met my soul mate forever. We are compliments to each other's weaknesses. We are growing older and can finish each other's sentences and think it is funny. We still laugh, hold hands and have regular date nights, my soul mate and I agreed that we'd never be too old in our minds and still act crazy sometimes around the Grandkids. We have experimented with our deepest fantasies and each other has helped the other reach their height of those. My darling wife knows I sometimes enjoy dressing up to the fullest. She and I shop together, she remembers Jaylyn on my birthdays as well as Christmas. Sometimes I dress and even though I go over board on my makeup she laughs with me and helps me correct it. She will always be the first importance in my life even over my cross dressing, or any of the other loves in my life I have, like hunting, fishing, camping, my guitar playing and howling at the moon. She is my wife and my true soul mate so why would I want another one? Oh by the way this soul mate I have is incredible at sex so I say yes to the question "do soul mates necessarily have sexual relations.

[justmetoo]

Well, being shy, socially awkward, an introvert and asexual, finding a soulmate (or "just" a good compatible mate or best friend) has been an exercise in hopeless romanticism for me. No luck so far (and I'm getting a bit long in the tooth. ha ha). I guess that's one reason I love hearing about others who have found a wonderful person to share their life with. Best wishes to all!

[Stephanie Morgan]

Yep, I found my soul mate. She is sitting here next to me as i type this. Having just celebrated our 9th anniversary and having been together a few years longer than that, just the fact that she puts up with me is an amazing feat....lol. She is very supportive and encouraging and asks to see Stephanie more often than one would expect. She lets me know she loves her guy, loves her stephanie too, and we have no secrets between us. We talk about everything. She keeps me grounded and focused. I cannot imagine not being with her as she has my heart and she lets me know often that I have her heart as well.

[MissTee]

When you truly find your soul mate, as I have, you'll stop searching. More than one, then, is unecessary.

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with Lorileah. U meet your soulmate. Then, u graduate from high school and grow up! I have probably met a few and didn't have sex with all of them.

I'm only aware of having loved my ex wife. We had a few wonderful years and a daughter together. Who reminds me of her so much at this moment that I want to throw her out!

Oh, sorry! Soulmates! Ah, yes-----

[Beverley Sims]

I can see a growing up and learning process here.

My best friend is my wife, does that help?

[RachelsMantra]

As someone whose wife recently left him, call me a recent skeptic of marriage and the whole idea of soulmates. I used to think I could predict how someone would act based on their past experience and determine whether we were "long term material". Together for 7 years married for 3 and it ended so abruptly. Out of the blue she moved out. Left me for another man. Can't say my heart is broken but I was shocked at how badly I predicted things. Didn't see it coming. What can I say people change. The thing I learned is that I need to learn how to make myself happy independently of anyone else.

[LelaK]

The thing I learned is that I need to learn how to make myself happy independently of anyone else.

That seems to be my fate too. Not that I'm getting to the happy part.

[donnalee]

I had mine for 43 years, then she died on me. We became so integrated in our thoughts and behavior that a lot of the time we didn't need to speak to each other; a questioning look, a nod of the head and we would act in concert toward the same goal. We understood and respected each other more than any 2 people I've known (although I have met others with similar relationships).
It wasn't that way at first; we were very mismatched to begin with; there was a large age difference, we were from 2 very different cultures and only had the music I played in common. We tried to find lives with others (our relationship was so unusual in even our own eyes) only to be drawn back to each other repeatedly. I'd say it took about 5 years to get things down to a dull roar; we fought many times. She was no pushover; it takes a lot of patience and sometimes just pure stubbornness to make and keep a relationship. We had long before realized we did not want marriage unless there were to be children involved; my income was spotty at best (although I was well paid for the work I did) so economics played a part but the biggest reasons were that she had a nightmarish first marriage to a well educated man who turned out to be a professional student with both mental and drinking problems with a family rich enough to support it all but not very welcoming to someone of a different race and culture. I was coming out of a engagement to a high school sweetheart that had blown up. I've always been reluctant to make promises without being 100% sure I could keep them and marriage was a 50/50 proposition with a steady income. We never married. In the early '80s we partnered in a business, so we started using partner to describe each other and let people draw what inferences they might; in '04 the laws changed and we made it legal as "domestic partners" so that she could get my benefits as her Alzheimers was becoming more apparent and her medical costs higher.
I have done some online dating since her death, but the only one of the bunch was worthwhile and our circumstances made it impossible, so I can't say it whether it will happen again; I really hope so.

[Mia Brankovic]

Lela,
Soul mates, and the associated belief, are said to be borne of Karmic Connections of past life experiences (not always 'happy' ones, I'm afraid to report). Now, I have followed, crusaded and searched for over 30 years in the Spiritual Realm...and what have I learned?

Pick a soft, non-judgemental belief system. There is no one right answer...and even if there was, nobody has a greater or lesser chance of encountering their God/Goddess/"Whom ever be the Holy Name" incarnate. You are most welcome to venture out 'into' the Outer Realm; however, there'll be plenty of time for that later. The fear I have concerning a "divine influence from heaven above", when Love is involved, (happens to most of us?) is that this can cause "relationship blindness", by replacing reality by a cosmic fantasy (just my opinion).

I meditate to clear the cookies and defrag my wants/hopes/desires (emotion) from reality (logic)

Ciao Bella, I hope this was helpful...

Now, I'm saying this now; however, I'm sure I'll change my tune upon finding my companion lol

[Cheryl T]

I met and married my soul mate.
She was unaware but later discovered me and it was not the right time. Years later I came out to her and after much discussion and crying she took a chance and now is fully accepting. We go out everywhere together and she is always there to help me.
Just the other day I gave her a hug and she rubbed my arms saying, "kinda scratchy, you haven't shaved". Then last night I showered and shaved them. As we were watching tv I offered my arm and she rubbed it saying, "now that's better, nice and smooth".
She is my everything...

[devida]

I've never understood what a soul is but I'm guessing you mean someone who completes you, who is your best friend, lover, life partner, who you cherish and who cherishes you and who is your long term companion?

Sure, I'm married to that person. I had to ask the universe very specifically to present her to me, which, since the universe is a kind place, it did.

I certainly like the idea that I could be in a relationship with two or more people at the depth and with the love that I have for my wife. I think it's very difficult for people to let go of feelings of possessiveness and protectiveness towards the people they love and these feelings tend to complicate being in intimate relationships with more than one person, especially if they are sexual. As the polyamorous will tell you, though, it certainly can be done. It does require a lot of confidence and care in your relationship with your lovers so it isn't that common. Much more common and kind of depressingly so is the drama and regret of most extra-marital affairs.