I don't want to hijack the thread reverse therapy so this post.
I have read it for years on this forum. I have read it for years in books. I have spent the last 4 years with a counselor. I have heard it form others. But daxxit how do I put this aside?
Even in the recent book thread someone said something about reading many books and that was akin to trying to find a way out or it was it justification. I know I have spent the last 5 years working on this and finding myself and I am constantly trying to find a solution to putting my life back on the old track. However, all I ever hear is that it won't work. I know it is my life and I can choose to get off at the next station but what I hear, read and feel is it won't work.
Somewhere, some when, some how through hard mental work I could make it. However, I hear that I would be the lucky one if I could make it. More that likely somewhere, somehow somewhen I will self destruct. God what a pain in the mind and body and axx. Why? Why me? What makes me so special? I just want my old life back!!!